the brilliant things about home education.

[LetZygonsbeZygons]

Ill start!

world book week. other threads on other sites on mn panicking/moaning about the dressup things for going into school. Phew! no more of that faff.

no more being called in cos DCs had a meltdown yet again (sn).

the dreaded schoolrun/parking/school gate mums.

being 'persuaded' to fork out your non existant cash to pay for trips/food/workshops etc etc.

bloody sports day.

assemblies and xmas plays which would all freak DC out.

being able to go places while all the other kids are at school so museums/parks/playplaces/libraries etc are not choc a block with noisy screaming sweaty kids.

ah, bliss.

anyone else? anything else?

[Martorana]

It's funny, LetZygons, but some of the things on your list are some of the reasons I choose school!

[fuzzpig]

Lovely thread. Like Time we are not HEing, but it is still very much a possibility. DCs are doing well at a truly wonderful little infant school so not an issue at the moment, but in September DD will be starting at a junior school which I am not entirely convinced by (it's the only option for various reasons - so as our second choice on the choices from we actually chose HE) - it's HUGE, has been slated by OFSTED and thanks to friends with older DCs I am aware of a bullying problem. There is a new HT though so maybe it'll get better. And we may be moving area in the next year or two. But basically, HE is very much a possibility at least in the short term.

So I wonder if you'll allow me a little daydreaming? :o

The (as yet hypothetical) benefits are IMO:

A quieter life. DD is anxious (gets that from me, sorry DD :() and tends to be happier when there's less going on.

More time to run off the mind boggling energy my DCs have (which they most certainly do NOT get from me!), spending time outdoors with nature. They love their weekend wildlife walks.

Time to pursue all the extra curricular stuff they'd like, but are currently not able to do because school takes up such a huge amount of time.

Less exposure to bullying, peer pressure and stereotyping, and therefore more freedom to be themselves and keep their own (relatively quirky) interests.

More time for subjects they need help with - and without the unavoidable comparison with classmates there would be less impact on self esteem.

More time to get totally engrossed in topics that spark their interest and no need to stick with stuff that doesn't.

More time (and yes, more money as it's cheaper in term time!) to really follow their interests as far as we could - we are planning to go to Belfast for the Titanic stuff and Amsterdam for Van Gogh in the next couple of years but it'd be so much easier if we could just go whenever!

More day trips. Weekends are usually needed for unwinding from school (it's socially and mentally tiring for them even if not so much physically) so don't do much gadding about. Not being at school would enable us to do much more!

Much more opportunities for more practical learning that can't always be done in a full classroom - experiments, building, cooking etc.

Opportunities for self initiated projects that can be as ambitious and time consuming as they want.

Sorry for the epic waffle. Writing it all down makes me tempted to just take them out now TBH!

[hellokittymania]

I really wish I had been homeschooled. :(

I was at a school for the blind for six years and at mainstream for 6. During my last year of school, I loved being alone in the resource room at the mainstream school. I had very high grades that year but no real friends and I was left out of everything. Then, I was told I couldn't stay in the resource room alone because the "professionals" wanted me to make friends and be in class...

[morethanpotatoprints]

As promised, I am back.
I knew there would be positive to report.
I cried, dd came out with all the rest of the children and sang her heart out, they all did.
The thought of her missing out on something like this that makes her so happy, is heart breaking. Where we live there is no way she would make the weekly rehearsals, if attending school. It really is a chance of a life time and this is just one of the benefits.
She went to bed exhausted tonight and said she is so glad she can get up when she likes tomorrow, that she can practice for as long as she likes and there is nobody to tell her she has to stop to do Maths.
She does try this on as she knows very well I will make her do Maths and English
I very proud and happy mum a very privileged and happy dd.

[Saracen]

Children can follow their own trajectory without being conscious of how they compare to other children of their age, or having impossible demands placed on them.

My younger daughter seems to be on the verge of learning to read. She has recognised a few words out of context recently, she sometimes sounds out short words, and she keeps asking, "what does that say? what does it say if you read it backwards? what does it say if you read it upside down? what does it say if you read it backwards and leave out the letter 's'?", LOL. She draws all manner of fierce monsters with squiggly "words" coming out of their mouths.

She's enthralled, and very pleased with herself. It is a delight to see. I'm very happy for her. She has never doubted that she'd learn to read and write, or believed that there was anything wrong with her because she hadn't done it yet.

If she'd been at school, what would this moment mean? It would mean this: "After three and a half years of frustration and tears and hard slog she is finally getting it. The hundreds of hours of extra intervention at school and daily practice at home have paid off at last. She'd never have got here without it. And now she is only three years 'behind', so maybe with some more hard work she could one day 'catch up'." Where's the joy in that?

[HereIsMee]

My DS has gone on to FE now. One of the best things at present at is that every now and the we stop and reminisce about those years. I can't believe we did that.

During the time we HE'd I think it was watching him grow in confidence again. He's always been a determined person so it was also great to watch him follow his own path. At the point of deciding to go on to FE I felt worried but he made his choice and did what he wanted regardless of what I thought.

It was also good that I could choose to have him assessed in a benefitial way for his overall progress rather than just to fight for the right provision.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Saracen

How wonderful, I'm so happy for your daughter.
You have put into words the awful experience many children have at school with comparisons. You have shown how it is not important in the long term and shared this. I hope it benefits many other parents who are experiencing this with their children.

I get so much joy reading the many posts that show the huge benefits of H.ed and HereIsMee I'm so pleased for your ds, you gave him the chance to be himself, I bet you are very proud of him.

[streakybacon]

Lovely stories .
HE is so wonderful for our 'outside-the-box' children.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

OP none of these things you listed are "brilliant things about home education" - they are basically just an attack on school.

[Saracen]

Well, it's a challenge, twelve, because home education means not sending children to school. Parents of children who go to school sometimes feel that their children "have it all", because there is nothing home educated kids do that schoolchildren can't and don't do during the times they aren't at school. It's true that there really is nothing that HE kids do which schoolchildren can't sometimes do.

So the distinguishing characteristic of home education is simply that children don't go to school. Clearly if we believe that not going to school benefits our children, we also believe that school would be a negative thing for them.

Some of us can and often do bend over backwards to attempt to express this in positive terms rather than negative terms, to try to spare the feelings of people who don't like to see the institution of school criticised. I usually say, "home education is a very efficient way to learn" instead of "school wastes a great deal of children's time". I say, "home education is flexible" instead of "school is rigid". But I don't know that there is really a meaningful distinction, and anyway I don't see that we should have to do this, especially in a thread on the home education board.

Many families who are home educating, including the OP if I remember right, have had a truly horrific time at school. In the vast majority of cases, parents finally remove their children from school only after a considerable amount of suffering. For them to want to celebrate being free of that is completely understandable. If it offends you, perhaps this isn't the right board to be reading.

[Martorana]

As I said earlier, many of the reasons listed in the OP are reasons that I chose school for my children rather than HE! I think one of the problems with threads like this is that many of the most vocal (not the right word really, but I can't think of a better one) HEers on here are the parents of children with additional needs. Those of us not in that position can't really have any idea what school can be like for their children- although sadly, many threads on Mumsnet illustrate how little understanding other parents their peers -and sadly even some teachers - can have for them. I can only imagine the relief of removing a child from an environment that feels hostile and threatening and letting them relax into a path that's right for them.

I think the problems start happening when people start extrapolating from the particular to the general. I happen to have children who are "school shaped". What I find difficult sometimes is when HEers, both on here and in real life refuse to acknowledge that such children exist. That HE is innately superior and children are automatically damaged by school. When people start using terms like "sausage machine" "sheep" following the herd" "clipping their wings" "education fodder" and many more and worse-is when those of us who choose schools sometimes get a bit heated.

And yes I know that people are ignorant and offensive about HE too- it's just that sometimes it feels as if suggesting that HE is not always perfect, not always for every parent, not always for every child and not always as easy as falling off a log puts you automatically into that ignorant and offensive category. Which is a shame. Because then the conversation gets stressful and brittle, rather than interesting and informative.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Martorana

I do see your point and there are problems from both sides.
Personally, not talking about you here, but I object when people put words into your mouth and twist what you are saying.
I also think that assumptions are made about H.ed that no matter how many times you state it isn't like that for you or the majority of people you know, the person comes back with well what about x.
Some people just aren't willing to see its a good choice for you.

We had all 3 dc at school, 2 of them completed school, one has taken a break for a few years and the other I wished I'd H.ed from the start. Unfortunately, I had no idea it existed when ds2 was little. If ever there was a child in need of a home education it was him. I wish to this day it had been possible.

[Martorana]

So am I misunderstanding you when I think you are suggesting that schooled children are un/non thinking drones who will be suited to office work? While HE children aren't ?

[morethanpotatoprints]

Martorana

I think it is true in our case. I'm not sure I'm able to speak on behalf of others.
I do like the fact that dd is able to study the topics she chooses rather than just the N.C, that she can choose what time she wishes to do this, how long she wants to do something for, and most importantly can go as in-depth as she likes.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Come on Martorana

Your a closet wannabe H.edder aren't you? You must be as you have so much to say on the subject.

[Martorana]

[morethanpotatoprints]

Anyway getting back to the OP, sorry to be part of the derailment Zygon

Today was a prime example of the benefit.

DD got up quite late for her, 9.30am. I was a bit as she is usually an early riser. She had a busy day yesterday and was flat out this morning.

So today, we took advantage of nice weather, had picnic in the park, fed the ducks and played with her ball.
Some college students came in and started talking to us about dd not being in school etc, she had her sketch pad with her and the art students gave her some tips on her sketching.
They promised to help again if they could borrow her football some lunch times.
So that's ad hoc art classes taken care of.
The same happened with sports students last year, she got some free sports tuition for a few weeks.
I think its lovely that young people are so nice, helpful, and just happy to communicate with youngsters like my dd.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

"So that's ad hoc art classes taken care of. " really? A few students gave tips on sketching?
My kids had a specialist art teacher at primary school, with a degree in Art and Design. On warm days they would have lessons in the woods or organic school garden, use the potter's wheel and kiln, or sketch the horses and deer they could see from the playground.
It's lovely that our school had wonderful resources and qualified expert teachers to teach them the basics or real techniques and inspire their creativity.

[morethanpotatoprints]

twelve

Bully for them, mine didn't.
Yes, I dare say some schools do and can do this.
No schools like that round here, so we do it ourselves.
If my dd wanted specialist Art lessons I'd pay for a tutor, she's happy doodling away atm.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

My children didn't know about all the wonderful techniques and materials that were even there to learn about until they had someone with specialist knowledge who was able to guide and teach them the techniques that could open up a new world of creativity and expression.

Otherwise no doubt they would have still just been happy doodling.

[ommmward]

Atthestroke did you notice that this was started as an explicitly positive thread about home ed, not a debate thread?

Yes, yes, you are offering your children opportunities through school that our deprived children can only dream of. Your decision is definitely right, ours is inferior. We are probably damaging our children irrevocably.

Is that what you want to hear? Now, please let this thread be a positive thread about home education, in the home ed topic, as requested. If we can't have such a thread here, where can we have such a thread on mumsnet?

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

Oh so it was started as a positive thread about all the good things about home ed was it? Lets look at the OPs first post then:

"world book week. other threads on other sites on mn panicking/moaning about the dressup things for going into school. Phew! no more of that faff.

no more being called in cos DCs had a meltdown yet again (sn).

the dreaded schoolrun/parking/school gate mums.

being 'persuaded' to fork out your non existant cash to pay for trips/food/workshops etc etc.

bloody sports day.

assemblies and xmas plays which would all freak DC out.
"

Not to mention her reference to all those noisy screaming school educated kids.

I see it now- yes you are right, it's full of all the lovely things that happen when you home educate....

Oh but it's not is it? It's just a diatribe about all the nasty things that happen in schools.

I am simply redressing the balance. This thread is open to all after all.

[morethanpotatoprints]

avoiding these things sound positive to me , especially if you have a child who has meltdowns.
My dd dressed up and went round town as usual world book day, but it was her choice. She went to an after school activity dressed up as did her friends, it was her choice.
The OPs child was clearly not happy at school and not worrying about the above obviously makes them happy.

I am wondering why twelve doesn't just ignore threads she/he doesn't like. Isn't that usual on Mnet? I saw a thread about Cats before, I don't have one

[juule]

"Oh so it was started as a positive thread about all the good things about home ed was it? "

That's how I read it. A positive thread about all the good things about home ed. and then op listed all the positive things for her family. Those positive things about home-ed happen to include examples of that family's negative experiences of school. So not out out of place on this thread really as that is their personal experience which is a bonus to them for choosing to HE.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

I don't agree. THese are all negative points about school, not positive ones about HE. The OP opened the thread with a list of criticisms about school- not positive at all, and not surprise that supporters of school want to defend that