Some of our young people are half way through their degrees (2019/20 intake): lockdowns on repeat, light at the end of the tunnel with vaccinations (?) and the legacy of COVID-19

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose is all I can say!

[bigTillyMint]

@icanbewhatiwant, not unless your DS and gf are being all over each other and shutting him out, surely? My DC seem happy to spend time with couples or have singles spend time with them and partners - they are young and just want to socialise have fun with whoever’s there.

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

I can recall actually getting on better with student house-share girlfriends and boyfriends than some of my house-mates!

[icanbewhatiwant]

If it were me I think I'd feel awkward. Ds sends me photos of their dinners, I suggested cooking a meal for the other guy too. I don't know how much time they spend in their room. I also thought the fact she's using electricity etc. might cause friction. But maybe I'm wrong. She's there until we come out of lockdown anyway.

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

I think a lot will depend on the relationship the established house-mates have. If they are good friends, I would have thought that a long-stay boy/girl-friend would be more tolerated (enjoyed even!) than if the sharers are not.

[Itscoldouthere]

@icanbewhatiwant I think it depends on the house really. My DS1 has started going out with one of his housemates and it’s caused lots of problems and tension in his house, but they are in a small house of 4, so I think their relationship has over powered the house. The other 2 haven’t come back from Christmas, so they currently have the house to themselves, but it also make for quite an intense relationship.
DS2 currently has 2 couples in his house, one official the other an extra BF but it isn’t causing any problems, 6 of them are back, but they do have a big house and plenty of room.
When I was at uni at one point I lived in a 5 girl house, we used to do a weekly shop (£5 a week each😂) and it was always a problem if a visiting BF ate a banana or some food that wasn’t his, luckily I’m still good friends with all these girls, but we definately had a few fall outs at the time!

[Itscoldouthere]

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 thanks for asking about DS2, I’m waiting for him to report back to me, he’s written to student services and the embed team (I’ve no idea who they are) to ask to defer the year.
I hope they say yes, but not sure if they will as he’s not done any work this year, if they do say yes I’m not even sure if he will go back to it in September or not.
One step at a time! But the good news is he’s feeling a bit brighter and is happy in his house, I just have to roll with it all at the moment.
I’m starting to make tentative plans to come back to the UK for a couple of months, so I hope I can sort things out a bit more then.

[icanbewhatiwant]

As I said at the moment just one other housemate. Perhaps he doesn't mind. It's a fairly big house with large dining area and living room. The kitchen is a good size too. So they have plenty of room. The gf has to hide when the landlord goes in though.

[icanbewhatiwant]

@Itscoldouthere yes...the most important thing is your sons happiness...obviously. It doesn't sound like he's been happy doing biology. It must be even worse not doing any of the hands on stuff. If they say he can defer a year at least there's no pressure.

[Itscoldouthere]

@icanbewhatiwant yes I don’t know if he will go back to it, but for now we have to not worry and be thankful that he is happy in his house and seems a bit brighter than he was.
I haven’t even really looked into the full cost implications, but presume he will loose his maintenance grant and will have to pay council tax, but we have no other option as he still can’t come to Canada.

[icanbewhatiwant]

@Itscoldouthere he will probably have to get a job for a while. That might make him decide he'd rather study.

[Itscoldouthere]

@icanbewhatiwant yes a year working at Wagamama certainly helped DS1 decide to go back into education 🤣

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Maybe he could get a job and study for that A Level in History that might open other doors to him @Itscoldouthere? It's good to hear that he is feeling brighter in himself though - that's the really important thing.

Lots of young people have false starts with what they want to do. It rarely seems to hold them back once they've found their groove.

[Itscoldouthere]

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 yes that might be an idea although he wouldn’t get 3 years full funding now.
On the plus side he decided he’d like to learn to play the accordion 🤣 myself and DH are rolling around laughing, he is such a quirky boy, we’ve no idea where this notion has come from, it if it will go anywhere, but it certainly made my day!

[simbobs]

It takes some people a long time to find out who they are and where they fit in. I have one like that and really worry about her.

[MissConductUS]

My DD just started uni living on campus this week. It's her first year and she did the fall semester remotely from home. Her uni decided to allow up to 60% of the students onto campus this semester. She has a huge room as it used to be a double.

I'm surprised by how differently student housing is handled her in the US. She applied to nine universities and all of them guaranteed university owned housing to students, even the ones in very urban settings.

[Itscoldouthere]

Most 1st years do get university halls in the UK, but most go into private rental house for 2nd/3rd year. What happens in USA in years 2/3?

[MarchingFrogs]

@Itscoldouthere, if your DS defers / drops out due to documented health issues (or anything else that is counted as 'compelling personal reasons', then it is likely that he will still be able to obtain another 3 years of funding.
www.gov.uk/guidance/going-back-to-uni-or-repeating-a-year

[MissConductUS]

@Itscoldouthere

Most 1st years do get university halls in the UK, but most go into private rental house for 2nd/3rd year. What happens in USA in years 2/3?

Most stay in university halls for the whole four years but have the option of living off campus after year one if they want to. In university housing they can walk to everything so it's more convenient. The uni guarantees housing for all four years to all full time students.

Our secondary schools are one year shorter than yours so university is one year longer.

[Itscoldouthere]

@MarchingFrogs thank you for that information, I didn’t know that, it could be really useful going forward.
I can imagine after some time out DS2 might want to return to uni, he’s a bright boy and just hasn’t engaged with his Biology course, I hope that maybe if he was a bit older and in a better place with his MH he could be an excellent student and get a lot out of university, I thought that lack of funding would mean he would probably have to give up altogether, so it’s good news.

[ZZTopGuitarSolo]

@MissConductUS

My DD just started uni living on campus this week. It's her first year and she did the fall semester remotely from home. Her uni decided to allow up to 60% of the students onto campus this semester. She has a huge room as it used to be a double.

I'm surprised by how differently student housing is handled her in the US. She applied to nine universities and all of them guaranteed university owned housing to students, even the ones in very urban settings.

I hope it goes well. Are they doing a very strict quarantine there? Has she managed to make friends yet?

Mine went back a couple of weeks ago to her university (also US) and they had strict rules. She is allowed out now she's had 3 negative Covid tests but they're still discouraging in-person socialising. She's in a big double room with a roommate and seems happy.

[ZZTopGuitarSolo]

DD's university is calling the double rooms that are being used as singles 'dingles'

[Ginfordinner]

DD has the smallest bedroom in her house share. Even the bathroom on her floor is bigger than her room.

[VanCleefArpels]

One main difference between US and UK Uni halls/dorms is the expectation of sharing. That is highly unusual in the UK and was actually one of the factors that put my older child off applying to a US College

[bigTillyMint]

Gosh @Ginfordinner, that must be particularly hard in lockdown.

DS has a big and lovely double bedroom in his rented house in Durham, such a shame he’s not there making the most of it.

[Ginfordinner]

@bigTillyMint

Gosh *@Ginfordinner*, that must be particularly hard in lockdown.

DS has a big and lovely double bedroom in his rented house in Durham, such a shame he’s not there making the most of it.

No. It's a second year student house so they aren't isolating from each other. They have a huge kitchen and a living room. Her room is the quietest and the warmest, and she gets the morning sun, so it's not all bad news.