Even a 25% discount wouldn’t have got the fees and costs down to uk levels. Perhaps we could have negotiated?
I think that the fees in the UK are likely below the actual cost of providing the education and supporting the university. Don't the universities get some government subsidy?
Because uni's in the US are so competitive, everything is driven by the ratings. There are many companies and organizations that provide rankings and ratings for US universities and one of the key inputs into the ratings are the average standardized test scores of the incoming students. If you are above average for a particular school and will pull their numbers up, they incentivize you to come with scholarship money. If you are at or below their average incoming test scores they generally won't, unless you bring something else they really want. That is how "merit" aid works. My son was offered more merit aid by schools that were less selective and desirable because his scores helped their averages more.
There is also "need based" aid. Students applying from families with lower incomes and assets can also get this type of aid, some of which comes in the form of low interest loans and some (less) of which can be outright grants, either from the federal government or the university.
The really elite schools that are at the absolute top of the ratings don'e offer merit aid because they don't need to boost their ratings. They do tend to offer more need based aid.
We have too much income to qualify for need based aid, so we had to look for universities where he would qualify for merit aid. DD, who will start uni in two years, has the test scores to get into one of those really elite schools that don't offer merit aid, and if she goes there we'll be completely screwed financially. Paying $60,000 per year for her to go to Harvard or Yale would be a huge burden for us too.
There is a culture of saving for college here. We started when the kids were toddlers and have had a lot of help with the college fund over the years from my genuinely lovely MIL. With a bit of luck DS will graduate with no debt. We'll have to see what happens with DD.
Sorry, I didn't realize how long this was going to be. It's probably way more than you wanted to know.