Two uni arrivals, one date - how?

[IssieN]

Is anyone else in the position of having two children going to uni in different parts of the country and having the same arrival day? Any suggestions how to do it?!

[chelseahotel]

Taking your child to uni is a big milestone and a bittersweet one. I loved it both times and would not have missed that if I could help it. In fact having seen them in their room I could picture them when I got home.

I think it's important they arrive at the proper time unless they are uber confident social types. I remember when DS1 went he was allocated a slot on the Sunday which we couldn't do because of work so we just took him on the Saturday. Probably should have asked permission in hindsight but he was handed his keys no questions asked.

[happyinherts]

I admit it was a dilemma and one I changed my mind over more than once. The funeral was a two and a half hour drive away - and his plane from Gatwick the other end of the country too. I figured that if he could get to USA, he could get to Gatwick on public transport too, and had to say goodbye early in the morning so as to attend funeral - a one-off occasion.

These things make the young ones grow up quickly. Life lessons, I guess.

[ItsNotLit]

Fair enough HappyInHerts. I wouldn't have given a lift in those circumstances either.

[happyinherts]

Actually, no - I said my goodbyes in hallway of home. I had a funeral to attend to that day, and a goodbye at home is the same as one at the airport - in fact far less emotional.

He had one large suitcase and an address on a piece of paper - got a cab from a US airport to his new home - met by his new housemates. A very successful journey.

[ItsNotLit]

@HappyInHerts

Mine's gone to a uni in USA on his own and had to sort out accommodation, furniture, transport etc.

Did you give him a lift to the airport?

[BizzyFizzy]

I only have one going, but I am just taking her to King's Cross, and she will go on her own with one suitcase. She will have to buy bedding and dishes when she arrives. Fortunately, they have shops there too :)

[drspouse]

PS I play and took with me a large instrument, plus 2 suitcases. I got a taxi.

[drspouse]

I got the train 5 hours on my own to Uni. My mum is very caring and sent me home baking by post, but it seemed a bit pointless to drive all that way.
We didn't need bedding, but you could do click and collect to a local supermarket or Wilko if you do.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Like Dotty 25 years ago my parents faced the same dilemma. My sister was going to a campus uni and considerable distance from the train station and her route required two changes. I was going to London and my hall of residence was a 5 minute journey from the main line terminal that I would arrive by direct train to.
They dropped me at the train station with enough for the first week and then set off with my sister. They came with the remainder of my stuff the next weekend. On the train I sat opposite a member of the army ( in uniform) who incredibly kindly assisted me to a taxi with my several bags. A random act of kindness I still remember 25 years later.

[IssieN]

DottyBlue2 - treating them equally is not restricted to Uni arrival day! 😀

[DottyBlue2]

The work colleague took me down on my very first day....

[DottyBlue2]

I experienced this with my own uni days. My older brother was at Oxford and my DM drove him everywhere so that she could show off to her friends that she was "taking PFB up to Oxford.... / I'm going up to Oxford to pick up PFB." Oxford was a direct train ride away.

My uni involved 2hrs to London, across London and 90mins the other side. My step-fatherarranged for one of his work colleagues to take me down and after that I was on my own.

Years afterwards I asked DM about how she thought I managed and she said "I tried not to think about it.'

We aren't close.

So, OP, the point of this post is to please show equanimity to both DCs and please don't make it clear that you have a favourite.

[IssieN]

hellsbell99 - that's interesting that there was a Friday evening option. I could check that out. Thanks.
ItsNotLit - that's what they've told me, but I'll check that they haven't misread the information!

[ItsNotLit]

Most parents help take their kids to Uni when they start. It's good fun. I've taken all four of mine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It's exciting for them and I love the fact they want me to help out.

OP, are you sure there is only one move in date for each Uni. We've usually found that moving in spans two days or even three days.

[hellsbells99]

Hi Op. I had similar last year and it was decided that the one closest to home would go on the train if necessary with me delivering most stuff later. In the end she managed to get a slot to move in on a Friday evening, with DD2 going the following morning. You need to be well organised with everything in separate piles ready to throw in the car! Good luck.

[EduCated]

It is entirely normal for parents help their children move on to uni. Yes I'm sure they're capable and for some it's a matter of necessity to sort themselves out (I'm sure there are MNers who walked themselves hundreds of miles to uni with only a cloth bag), but it's really not unusual to be involved.

[IssieN]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, especially the idea of sending one ahead with basics and bringing the rest the next day. That could work for us.

Yes, both sons are concerned about arriving after everyone else and missing those first connections, so thank you IHeartKingThistle for mentioning your experience of just that.

Thank you also to ThroughThickAndThin01 and Horsemad for understanding.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I'd definitely want to go for both as well OP, don't let posters make you feel bad about that.

Most unis allow arrival over a whole weekend don't they? So one on Saturday and one on Sunday.

[user1471451866]

Hi IssieN, we had a very similar situation last year. Fortunately they were just about close enough to take one in the morning and one in the afternoon in the end but we had looked at one going the day before or after. I would suggest both contact their unis to see how flexible they can be, and do whatever allows them to arrive at a similar time to the their new flatmates, if possible. We took into account that one child in particular wanted to arrive before rather than after everyone else. In reality both had flatmates arriving throughout the weekend for various reasons and both unis were very helpful.
Good luck!

[Kez100]

Send one on the train!

One of my 18 year olds had 10 days notice for a job. Found accommodation (including a week in a Travelodge first), went by train with a suitcase as full as possible. Started work, ate out, liased to get key to new accommodation and we took the rest up once he had moved in and had more room.

Honestly. They are intelligent 18 year olds - they can cope!

[2rebecca]

most students end up needing a sleeping bag for trips at some point anyway.

[hoyhoy44]

if they cant arrange to go earlier ( as above mentioned poster said going later may be more difficult to settle in) maybe one could take a coach or train and just take overnight neccesities even a sleeping bag to save the hassle of buying bedding when they arrives and the other belongings can be shipped up or brought by you later.

[2rebecca]

Agree with one of them getting there with train/bus and a rucksac and you driving the rest of their stuff there a day or 2 later.
Overseas students manage to do this, without the extra stuff a few days later.

[Horsemad]

Maybe the OP actually wants to, you know, be there to see her DC off.

OP I am sure if your DC contacts the accommodation services, they will help.

[Couchpotato3]

Suggest you leave the DCs to come up with a solution themselves then roll with whatever they decide. Don't fix this for them, it's not that important and it will be good for them to work this through.