Mature student support thread

[Ilovelearning]

I said I would start a support thread for all of us at or going to Uni this September. I'm all packed and ready to move on Tuesday. The uni is just over 2 hours from home and I've never lived on my own before. Got married from home when I was 20 and always been with someone since. I've started to talk to fellow students on FB and am meeting up with a couple of them on Saturday.

Ilovelearning hope the situation with FIL has improved, and not gone worse, and you’ve managed to get your work done.

Gruach listening to students planning to go home to be looked after for Christmas while trying to plan how to get through my own situation brought a few things home.
I don’t know if it would be any solution, but do you have a mature student society - or the energy to start one?

Hah! Probably decades between me and the next most mature postgrad.

But I want to hear about the distracting fellow student(s). Not saying, at all, that this could be an issue I recognise ...

Distraction’s mainly in the form of constant low chatter during lectures, inc. carrying on after the lecturer has made pointed remarks about it. Same with group tutorial type stuff. They genuinely don’t seem to see it as rude or any need to apologise. Snap-chatting (or similar) during lectures which get punctuated by frequent whispered “OMG!”s, “Whoa!”s and “I don’t believe this!” I find it weird but everyone else seems to see it as perfectly normal.
Thery don’t have a concept of a working environment so someone on a computer or reading a book, equals an invitation to start voicing all the random things in their head, or that their social media’s buzzing with, or insist on showing just one more ‘sooo cuute’ picture video etc. They come through the door expect to verbally ‘offload’ regardless of what others are doing, and voice a running commentary when you try ignoring them.
Is this familiar?

One difficulty is some of the worst offenders are also some of the sweetest nicest and lovely young people, and probably headed for higher grades than me! They’re all clearly used to multi-tasking, and multi talking, and competent at it, and when they really need to get things done, they go home to achieve it! (not an option for me)

One of my New Year’s resolutions involves headphones!

Ah. A different type of distracting. Thankfully not one I've had to contend with so far. My fellow students are all quite serious in their demeanours and pretty much only talk about work during the hours we're together.

But I should, earlier, have said how sorry I am for your family loss. Such a huge thing to deal with.

Struggling a bit over how to deal with condolences as it was v. unexpected and ill prepared for, and the biggest loss is of hard won balance and equilibrium, having thrown up so many unresolved issues from the past into the present for everyone, rather than normal grieving. One of those situations where more keeps unfolding.

Dare I ask what kind of distracting's going on where you are then?

Don't ask ...

Someone has started a thread talking about feeling frozen through depression. I woke up this morning frozen with panic over all the work that's coming. I could have made things so much easier if I'd spent less time emoting and more time grappling with actual work over the past four weeks.

Ho hum.

The awful thing is - I would never have believed, last New Year, that I'd be doing the frankly staggeringly wonderful course I am now on. How on earth do I avoid squandering this opportunity through terror, poor organisation, intermittent neediness and the absolute certainty that I can't do it?

I'm still panicking about presenting last terms work and dealing with the failed unit. I've some awfully legitimate extenuating circumstances but dread explaining them.

I don't know how helpful this is, but you mentioned discovering I might be your twin before, so: I totally recognise 'terror, poor organisation, and the absolute certainty that I can't do it.' Not quite sure what you mean exactly by 'intermittent neediness' and worried about misinterpreting it, but probably recognise it under another title.

Do you know what it is you’re terrified of? Failure’s the one that usually knocks me for six and sends me self-sabotaging.

Sometimes I wake up, and to use other peoples words about me; 'wonder what the hell I think I'm playing at.’ It's like a dementor swooping down and sucking everything from me.

Reading threads on here, I think mature students may be in the habit of giving themselves a harder time…

Went shopping today to set us up for the week, and tomorrow's set to gently restart getting on top of uni work as best I can, the day after, I'll be re-starting working to a schedule (expecting family to resist) and Jan 6th (it’s Epiphany right?) for rather late New year’s resolutions!
Welcome to join me virtually if any use.

What I’m truly struggling with is only four days left to email about family death and repercussions, and the discovery that the health problems they were aware of but we all saw as 'end of term collapse', may be a bigger issue. Frankly reading the whole years reading list might be easier!