MN wisdom needed:PhD supervisor problem (preg DD's DP very unhappy)

[Isabeller]

DD and her DP (DDP) are expecting their first baby in Feb 2014. They are both academics, she is now post doc but had serious thesis stress too, I completely realise this is normal and very tough (no direct experience).

DDP worked in industry before starting his PhD, he is an amazingly gifted engineer, gentle, not very assertive and every couple of years has plunged into a serious low mood, for example when faced with some difficult work relationships/non-technical demands. Because he is so technically and academically brilliant and outwards calm and quiet his serious distress is very hard to detect.

He is in the writing up stage and needs more help from his supervisor in order to finish and submit. His supervisor is interested and excited about writing joint papers and conference presentations but apparently isn't reading his thesis drafts unless they are physically together and always starts from the beginning and halts at the first question while DDP wants him to read the whole thing and comment.

I am seriously worried that DDP will have a breakdown at this rate. I am certain the supervisor has no idea that things are this bad. In theory he could finish writing up before the baby arrives which seems like a good plan and he also has a great (research) job offer for after he has finished and desperately wants to get on with it.

DD is his best support and is far more socially confident but she is definitely worried and so am I.

Please advise if you have any ideas at all.

[UptheChimney]

kemmo I work in the humanities, and your advice is spot on for us too!

Bear in mind that you may well not be getting the full story. Don’t rule out the possibility that the supervisor has given your DDP very specific instructions for what he needs to do next which for whatever reason he is unwilling/unable to follow.
-All universities that I have worked at have extensive support networks behind the scenes to help grad students. But IME students are often unwilling to ask for help. This makes it very difficult for us to intervene when things get difficult

[MagratGarlik]

I have not read the full thread, but have read most.

I have supervised a lot of PhD students to successful viva of their thesis though and I am a scientist.

I would say:

1. It is not appropriate for your DD to talk to the supervisor. The supervisor may (and should) even refuse to talk to her about him due to data protection.
2. Most universities insist that all PhD students have more than one supervisor, he should arrange a meeting with all his supervisors and agree some deadlines for both him and them. These should be written down and circulated to everyone after the meeting. He should then arrange a meeting in another month to check progress against the deadlines.
3. As others have said, drafting and redrafting of chapters is normal. It usually takes between 6-9 months from start of full time writing to production of a completed, submittable thesis.
4. Hand the supervisor only 1 chapter at a time both in paper and electronic format and ask for feedback by a certain date. If feedback is not received, give another week and then say, "if I do not hear otherwise by X, then I will assume this chapter is now OK".
5. Expect that even when a chapter has been read and commented on, if the revised chapter is submitted again, the supervisor will still have comments. This happens due to comments being inadequately addressed, arguements being unclear, supervisor needing to think through the students ideas, new publications coming to light in the meantime.

Part of doing a PhD is learning to manage your supervisor and the thesis writing is the most stressful time. Don't forget however, you do not need the supervisor's consent to submit (but the supervisor can make it known to the university and examiners that the thesis is being put forward without his/her consent). Also remember, if the PhD is funded, the supervisor will be penalised if submission takes longer than 4 years.

[Isabeller]

Thank you everyone for the all the comments and advice. I feel I have a much better understanding of the various possible issues so I am less likely to do or say something unhelpful.

DD texted to tell me there has been a meeting/discussion between DDP and his supervisor (to clarify, there is only one) so I'm crossing my fingers they are starting to tackle the blockage.

[Lomaamina]

isabella I'm also an academic and have just read through from the start. I sympathise with the stressful time you're going through, bit I feel that you're not, understandably, fully in the picture.

You (or I should say your daughter and sil Have had excellent advice. One point of fact is that I've never heard of only having one supervisor, standard regulations require a second, sometimes referred to as backup, supervisor. The degree of involvement will differ between fields and circumstances, but they certainly should be involved at upgrade and at the final submission stages as they'll need to sign off nomination of examiners.

In short, SIL should see his postgrad tutor to talk things through and should, if the relationship has gone sour, have the option of showing his work (and even asking to be transferred) to his second supervisor.