University Open Days - do I stay ????

[lookoveryourshouldernow]

Hi There

Was planning to drop my Son off over the next couple of weeks to look at some Unis - a drop off and pick up.... but I was wondering whether I should/need to stick around with him to look at Hall accommodation etc etc with him ?

Is this a "done thing" or not - or will I embarrass him ???

[Copthallresident]

scwirrels DD went to a couple after receiving an offer, to help students make the decision whether to accept, agree she said found them the most useful visits. I went along to one but again only as eyes and ears. DD also had one interview before receiving an offer which turned out to be more of a charm offensive and that was actually the one that changed / made up her mind. She is now in her third year, has done well and loves the course.

I have flakey DD2 doing the whole thing next year, who can never make her mind up about anything, already driving me mad saying she has decided on course A and when I dig she says she hasn't actually been on the website to look at the course content "Do they actually tell you what modules they have on the course, really?" obviously a decision made on the course title alone . When I asked if she had looked at the dates for open days and started to decide which ones and which sessions to attend I just got an "oof" and a flounce................... I am still going to leave it to her but only because I know a gap year might be a very good thing...........

[ISingSoprano]

There are general open days to go to before the UCAS application is done. Many universities then hold focused visit days for students who have applied to them - these have, in DS's experience been department and subject specific and two of them included an interview.

[secretscwirrels]

So on the general open day do they have much opportunity to find out about the detail of the course / subject and the teaching? He wants to do Pure Maths.

[Copthallresident]

The pre application ones we attended all had course specific talks and a chance to meet the academic staff but there were a lot of students there maybe 30 students plus vocal entourage and several talks scheduled through the day so a limit on time. There weren't that many fewer at the post offer days and the talks not much more informative, though more academic staff spoke, but obviously the prospective students were a bit more focused on the decision and asking more detailed questions. Although why one tutor felt it necessary to inflict on us his homemade powerpoint on the local city through the seasons I'm not sure I think giving the prospective students a chance of a personal interview with an academic is a really good idea, at the ones they attended that was only possible in the context of social mingling.

[secretscwirrels]

DS would really rather speak with the academic staff than under graduates,who, with the best will in the world are likely to be chosen for the task because of their enthusiasm and communication skills. He really only wants to talk Maths. Can you see why I feel I ought to tag along to try and find out about other stuff?

[Copthallresident]

sorry meant numbers of prospective students. Actually only one uni wheeled out current undergrads and that was the one where they interviewed her. Most days we attended were not in term time.

[ISingSoprano]

Conversely all the post-applicant visit days we have been to have been in term time (some mid-week too). Ds is applying for a science course (marine biology) so there has been more to see in terms of lab facilities, boats, diving facilities etc as well as lots of under and post grad students to talk to.

[Copthallresident]

DD also applying for Science but only at the place they interviewed her were we allowed to see the labs etc. but then they are grade 1 listed

[creamteas]

Generally speaking general pre-application open days (usually July and Sept) are focused on why students might want to study a particular subject as many students are still deciding what subjects to apply for. Post-application days (Feb-May) are focused on why the applicants should pick a particular course as their firm about all the others.

Ours tend to have the same staff and students available (we don't screen the undergraduates who help out. They get paid so the ones that come are pretty much the ones that need the money!).

In my opinion (and not just because I hate going into work on Saturdays ), it is much better to attend open days on weekdays in term-time as you get a much better sense of what the university/dept feels like. If you go in on a vacation or on a Saturday, you only get to see what has been put on for applicants.....

[EllenParsons]

When looking around universities myself 10 years ago my parents never came with me. However I do have a twin sister so I went to a lot of the open days with her. I also did a couple with friends and my boyfriend so I never went to one completely alone. I do think it's nice to have someone with you to just talk it over with and share your opinions or impressions of the course and the place, whether that's a parent or a friend. I agree that it looks bad when parents are doing all the talking and being pushy though.

[INeverSaidThat]

My eldest who is now in year two at Uni went to all his open days on his own. It then drove him to his interviews where I dropped him off and went shopping. He studies medicine and sometimes he was the only one in the medicine applicant lectures without parents . I never thought to stay and he never wanted me to. Some of the parents had thick files and took notes (!)
I did do behind the scenes research for him though, I looked into accomodation for him and sorted out finances.

DC 2 has applied this year and I have driven him to several open days and occasionally wandered around with him. I have never stayed with him during the lectures though. I go to a cafe or go off campus and explore the towns.
He has had several post offer days where the Uni's seem keen to sell themselves to the parents and provide seperate full day program's for the parents (including free lunches ). I haven't stayed for those either, although I did join him to look at the accomodation at his first choice Uni. Nearly ever other DC has been accompanied by one or two parents.

I think the DC's need to make their own decisions and they do that more easily when they are away from their parents.
It does depend on the DC though.
Both my DC's included a couple of Uni's that I wouldn't have chosen but I have kept my thoughts to myself as it really is their decision.

[INeverSaidThat]

Of couse, one reason parents go is that it can be a lot cheaper and more convenient to drive rather than go by train or bus. ....

[unitarian]

Make sure they're wearing comfy shoes and have emergency taxi money.

They have to grow up fast in Y13 and you can support a great deal by discussing the prospectus, sussing out the place in all sorts of ways, helping plan the journey and being a sounding-board. You can be a taxi driver too if necessary but let them go through the gates alone unless your DC asks otherwise.
That experience of being in a strange place alone is a very good way of discovering how welcoming it really is.

[PenelopePipPop]

"That experience of being in a strange place alone is a very good way of discovering how welcoming it really is."

That is a good point.

I can see this one from both angles. As a former student who went to all her open days alone I'd say there are advantages to going without a parent - if you cannot manage the Open Day you may find the degree a struggle.

But as a lecturer I think our students face a tougher world than I did 15 years ago. Fees are high and the financial crisis is all they have ever known. Most of our applicants have worked enormously hard and are hugely ambitious and they still face uncertain job prospects after graduation. I know when I teach them that they are more anxious and more vulnerable to serious mental health problem than ever before and therefore more likely to need pastoral support from their friends and family back home than I did. So welcoming the parents to Open Days and answering their questions too is not just mollycoddling, it is also important to help build a relationship and let the parents know what kind of support is on offer at Uni. So when their son rings halfway through the first term to say they feel like dropping out because the workload is so great they can say 'But that lecturer who gave the talk about what to expect in your first year said this could happen - have you gone to speak to your personal tutor?'

There are probably parents who take it to an extreme which is unhelpful but I haven't met one yet. In fact it is rare for parents to ask questions of academics directly, they usually suggest their son/daughter comes up to us and then hang back.

[snorris]

I went with DD1 but mainly because I'm nosey and as she was a learner/new driver it was an opportunity for her to do some longer distance driving and motorways. In general I kept my mouth shut and observed. The only question I asked out of 5 visits was about hoovers in halls - I still haven't been forgiven by her yet !!

[JellicleCat]

DD went to all her open days with friends. It was good practice in organising journeys, booking bus or train tickets and, in one case, booking an overnight stay. All I did was provide the credit card!
I did offer to go with her if she wanted, but was pleased she wanted to do it by herself.
I am so pleased we did it this way. If they are going to uni in just over a year they need to be able to organise themselves. I appreciate not all will be able to do so, but surely it's better to help them be independant rather than do everything for them?