When I was four months pregnant with my first child I was sacked by my employer the day after I informed them I was expecting. My employer was a children’s charity. The experience broke me; my confidence was shattered, my career was on the floor. I had worked so hard to build my reputation and develop my career and it was snatched away from me in an instant, simply because I had dared to use my uterus.
I am not alone. The Government's own data shows that 54,000 women a year lose their jobs for daring to get pregnant, and 77% of working mums encounter discrimination in the workplace. Those figures have almost doubled in the last 10 years. So, the situation is drastically deteriorating.
When mothers dare to complain about how our careers are ruined because we had a baby, the response is usually that it is about choice; we chose to have a baby so we should live with the consequences of those actions. However, choices are not made in a vacuum - they are influenced by environmental, political and cultural factors. I did not choose to live in the country with the most expensive childcare system, and one which forces 870,000 mothers to stay at home when they want to work. I did not choose to live in a country where we are expected to work more hours than the rest of Europe, thereby creating impossible timetables for those of us with caring responsibilities. I did not choose to be beholden to legislation and deeply entrenched gender stereotypes which encourage mothers to be responsible for the lion’s share of caring responsibilities. I did not choose to be rejected from a job simply because I am of childbearing age. Research has shown that a third of employers would avoid hiring me incase I get pregnant on their watch. We seem to conveniently forget that it takes two people to make a baby. Do men not also choose to have children? It is clear they are not passive bystanders in the procreation process. Yet, when men become fathers they get pay rises and promotions whilst mothers are sacked, demoted and sidelined.
Our legislation and company practices have barely changed since the industrial revolution, when men were responsible for bringing home the bacon and women were tied to the kitchen sink. The world is a different place now; many women want to work, and most of us have to work if we want to afford basic things like a mortgage and food. The very many mothers doing it on their own without a dual household income face incomprehensible challenges.
This is a rather bleak portrayal of motherhood and work, but I’m starting to sense some real change on the horizon. Many of us have become increasingly frustrated with the challenges and are pushing for change, while finding innovative ways to overcome the structural barriers we encounter. On the 11th May we will be running our third festival of Motherhood and Work, Pregnant Then Screwed Live, where 300 mothers and over 50 speakers will come together to address confidence issues and give mothers the tools they need to find work that works for them. This growing community of mothers are challenging the status quo and the results go beyond anything we could have imagined:
One mother who attended Pregnant Then Screwed Live said:
"I believed that being made redundant while I was on maternity leave was my fault, that I somehow deserved to be pushed out because I had a baby. I had been feeling confused, stressed and depressed. Being surrounded by other mothers who talked so honestly about their challenges has changed me. I feel strong again. It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t deserve it, and now I feel ready to start my own business and show the world what I am capable of.”
When we are constantly facing professional judgement due to our parental status, it can have a severe impact on our confidence, as well as our career. Many mothers are being ground down by employers who are too short-sighted to see the value in making their workplaces work for mothers.
Campaigns supporting change are being spearheaded by influencers and organisations across the UK, such as Mother Pukka’s Flexappeal and Mumsnet’s campaign to force companies to publish their parental leave policies. Dads are getting involved too, with the Fatherhood Institute showing how three months’ ‘daddy leave’ would benefit the UK economy, help to close the gender pay gap, and have a positive impact on children.
So, the tide is turning. Companies are starting to realise that they are missing out on valuable talent by ignoring 40% of the adult population. Women are coming together to demand change, overcome adversity, and support each other to find new ways to earn a living while being a great parent. We know that we are not less competent or committed when we become mothers; we just need a labour market that works for parents.
Joeli will be returning to the post to answer your questions tomorrow (29/03/2019) at 4.30pm
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Guest posts
Guest Post: “We need a labour market that works for parents.”
49 replies
MumsnetGuestPosts · 28/03/2019 13:52
OP posts:
OhamIreally ·
30/03/2019 12:57
SimonJT did you get sacked or marginalised at work when you reproduced?
Don't know what the 
was for.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.