Guest post: "Britain must not turn its back on child refugees in Europe"

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

I can only imagine my desperation if I had to consider sending my boys away just to keep them safe.

But if I ever had to, I’d want a mother like Karen to be there for them. Karen is an amazing woman who told her story of fostering a refugee boy and brought huge attention to a campaign to get more refugee children settled safely in Britain.

This week, MPs had the chance to vote to let mothers like Karen keep doing what they want to do - opening their homes and their hearts to refugee children who are in Europe all alone without a mum or dad to look after them. I'm ashamed to say that they did not, and that the government decided to close the door to the thousands of children who need our help. The campaign was only asking for 3,000 children to come to Britain. To put that in context – that would be just five children per parliamentary constituency, and nowhere near the 10,000 mostly Jewish children that Britain saved through the Kindertransport before the Second World War.

I took a special interest in this vote because I have been working at Theirworld to help create school places for Syrian refugee children in Turkey, Lebanon and Jordan, where many fleeing families arrive first. I have been focused on how to make sure that children never embark on a further dangerous journey to find a safe haven. When I saw that the British parliament was considering a vote to offer a welcome to 3,000 lone children who really need us to open our hearts and homes, I wanted to add my support. So last week I wrote to my local MP for the first time ever. I wanted his backing for refugee children, an issue that goes well beyond party politics. I know lots of Mumsnetters contacted their MPs too and have heard from many of you on Twitter. It was devastating to see the government vote down the proposal to give safety to lone refugee children in Europe.

But this does not stop there. The House of Lords last night voted to back the bill thanks to the efforts of Lord Dubs and other campaigners. So it goes back to the House of Commons next Tuesday with a chance for MPs to reconsider their vote and help 3,000 lone children.

One of the ways you can help them think again is to sign this petition. If enough of us do it then perhaps a few more MPs will listen and reconsider their vote. In pushing for this change we won't be on our own – we have the backing of lots of energetic dedicated groups like Citizens UK, Save the Children, HelpRefugees and others. This weekend the former Archbishop of Canterbury gave his blessing, arguing that this is a chance to honour what our parents and grandparents did in the face of an earlier catastrophe.

This is not a question of sparking a new political controversy - that is not my way and not the Mumsnet way, I don't think - it is a matter of simple humanity. While we can't ensure that every child is safe in his or her own country, we can act to prevent children dying on our doorstep here in Europe, and ensure a safe home and education and hope for a better future.

As long as this terrible crisis runs on and horribly on - then we have obligations to the children who are here in our continent. Our MPs now have a second chance to help these vulnerable children and we should help them to take it.

Please join me, and sign here: Britain must not turn its back on child refugees in Europe.

[funnyperson]

I also think Sarah Brown should be doing more to help.

She must know how the home office and foreign office works and who is actually responsible for resettling children. When I last dealt with the issue there were 12 different depts in the Home office, all wanting a say.

Someone needs to get together an independent parliamentary committee to organise the whole thing properly so that stuff like umbers and resettling and welfare and health and education and return and making sure that the children coming through aren't terrorists gets dealt with, instead of brushing the whole thing under the carpet and calling the children migrants instead of refugees which is current govt policy.

[AimUnder]

I am utterly shocked by the xenophobia displayed in this thread, as well as the utterly selfish sentiments.

These are children who are high risk of being trafficked. Would you feel the same way if that was your child sitting in the cold?

I would be more than happy to take one of these children in, without a penny from the government.

[GraysAnalogy]

Throwing around words like xenophobia isn't going to make your statement have more impact - a few posters might want to keep this in mind.

Just because a few posters question why the first safe place isn't good enough does not make them xenophobic.

[emilybohemia]

The xenophobia is clear, with posters hinting that allowing CHILD refugees will have negative consequences for their own kids in years to come and hinting that male refugee boys will be a danger to girls.

Kids have disappeared since the camp at Calais was closed. How the hell people are happy to see the mistakes of the past repeated, I will never know.

[WhirlwindHugs]

Signed.

The accusation that places for children would be taken by lying adults is particularly disgusting. And yes reeks of xenophobia.

[Thebrowntrout]

But I am afraid that they do,Whirlwind and this is something foster carers on here have confirmed. Stating that as a fact isn't xenophobia.

[Limer]

What planet have you been on for the last few months Whirlwind? Or have you never ventured down from your ivory tower? There have been countless reports from Sweden, Germany, etc. about migrant over-16s claiming to be younger, along with all the associated problems that have occurred - rapes, attacks in schools, assaults of foster families, etc.

[wonkylampshade]

Signed. Such disturbing, selfish attitudes on this thread.

[emilybohemia]

So because of what a few people have done, the majority of refugee children should barred from being helped by the UK, limer? Doesn't seem terribly logical.

[Limer]

The UK is already helping refugee children (not adult migrants) in camps near their countries of origin. They shouldn't be brought to the UK, to create a huge demand on our public services.

[emilybohemia]

Have you seen those camps limer? Would you like to live in one?

[Limer]

Yes and no. Not sure what your point is though.

[FannyFanakapan]

I think some of you are incredibly warm hearted and utterly naive about the needs of deeply traumatised children.

Can I suggest that instead of wringing your hands and signing petitions, you sign up to be foster carers. You could actually work as a respite carer, one or two weekends a month, to take in the same child or children and give their foster carers a break from the unrelenting demands of looking after a traumatised child. You will be paid about £1.50 an hour, and be expected to take the child out and about, feed and entertain them.

Then maybe foster carers would actually stay in the profession and no burn out and we'd be able to help more kids.

You don't have to give up your week day job, you can still have your lovely lives, and you could make a real difference.

And if you like it, then you could take in a child refugee.

But before you do that, understand that fostering a traumatised child is very difficult and stressful. I know so many carers that leaave the profession after the first couple of placements, just because the realities of looking after these kids.

The child may smear feces, urinate on your carpets, block your toilet and sink, deliberately flood the bathroom in protest, steal food, steal possessions, bully your own children, act inappropriately to you and your children, break things deliberately (TV, windows) and act defiantly, be aggressive and violent, run away....these are things that British kids who have been traumatised in a family setting might do - how much worse for a traumatised teen who has spent months on the road fearing for their own lives, seeing and experiencing God knows what in their home countries and in the camps and living without any adult supervision for months.

Open your eyes, stop campaigning for something that we simply dont have the experience or resources to deal with. There is a massive shortfall of foster carers for UK kids - thats why we have the Daniel Pelkas and Ellie Grays of this world. How would you choose which child is rescued? Yes they all deserve our help, but we can only do so much - 8000 kids in the UK needing homes, and another 3000 refugees - where will you find 10,000 families willing to take up so many kids?

[Inkanta]

Good head screwed on post Fanny.

[LyndaNotLinda]

Christ, you know that MN has really gone to the dogs when it's further to the right than the Daily Fail
www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-3562690/DAILY-MAIL-COMMENT-Mail-s-robust-migration-lost-children-sanctuary.html

[emilybohemia]

Lynda, last year there was overwhelming support for Mumsnet to get behind a campaign to help refugees. As far as I can tell, Mumsnet never really clarified why they didn't act on that support. I am glad they have allowed this thread though.

Some posters are put off posting on threads like this because of the xenophobia and vitriol aimed at those wanting to help refugees. I also think some are put off by Mumsnet'slackof action previously inspite of huge support for a mumsnet campaign to help.

The very far right views on here worry me but I think a lot of mumsnetters do care and are not like that.

[bretexsanechoiceforourchildren]

All of these children are already in a EU country .. sorry these children ARE safe . Why is it always Britain's responsibility to take every one . It's about time they started asking the tax payers their view as it is us that will be providing for them . My friend could not get her child into 3 yes 3 schools she had chosen as they were all full up . Why do you think that is ? It's about time this useless government started looking after its own children . I can not wait to put my x on the out voting paper . For my children and grandchildren future . The only person I can see talking sense is nigel farage . We need to tighten our borders . Oh and one last thing Gordon Brown was spouting it's safer better stronger in europe ... well if this is safer ..stronger .. I want OUT

[AnnaForbes]

very far right views - No Emily, just practical and sensible views. Why do you always feel the need to slur anyone who opposes your views?

[urbanfox1337]

Is this the Sarah Brown that is married to the man who ended boom and bust?

Seriously some people have a nerve asking us to take more migrants, enough already. Why is she not starting a petition to force France to look after its own children? Its just insane to say any child that isnt happy in Europe can just come to England. Why is she not starting a petition to sanction Angela Merkel for inviting in millions of migrants into Europe without getting consent from the other countries in Europe.

We don't want to take in these 'young' men that will rape our children because they haven't had sex in a few months. Why are charities encouraging these young men to set up camps in France. France is a SAFE country for them, they CHOOSE to live in camps.

[FlaviaAnsell]

I think we should welcome as many as we can. Perhaps create orphanages for them if foster carers wont come forward.

Even if unlimited money was available, how long do you think it would take to identify suitable premises, carry out whatever alterations were necessary, recruit, check and train staff? Where are the staff with the necessary skills coming from?

[WhirlwindHugs]

I completely agree Emily.

Yes, some people will attempt to play the system. Those numbers are small I will not buy into this scaremongering faux-feminism about how traumatised children might be rapists so we shouldn't let them in.

[LyndaNotLinda]

And if people on here think that this thread is any different from something you'd read on EDL, they'd be wrong. The sentiment is identical

[sportinguista]

You have foster carers pointing out the challenges on a practical level. Just taking these children without adequate preparation and arrangements will lead to us making possibly a worse mess of their lives than is already the case. The resources as many have pointed out need to be indentified, checked and safety and other aspects assured.

Just getting a load of traumatised children and then bringing them here and then saying "Oh, blimey, I don't know where you're going to be or who with because we didn't think to check that out" . Is clearly not the right or good thing to do.

If it can be demonstrated that the needs of all 8000 children in the UK and the additional 3000 taken either from Europe or the camps can be met adequately then yes, bring them.

Just make sure that we can meet their needs to become a healthy, well adjusted part of our communities, otherwise we will have failed them too.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

10,000 child refugees have gone missing in Europe. Children in Calais are teargassed regularly - inside their shelters. How is that safe?

This is a campaign led by Save the Children. They say this is our share of the many children in Europe. I think that if Save the Children are behind it, then surely that has to mean something? They work with these kids - they say they are not safe.

Save the Children briefing document