Guest post: If drinking in pregnancy becomes a crime, women's bodies will no longer be their own

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

Unless you are one of those rare women who unwittingly go into labour thinking they’ve a touch of indigestion, most women know pretty early on in pregnancy that their body is no longer their own.

I knew the aliens had landed well before the second line on the test went pink; my boobs were so sore that by early January I knew that Christmas day shag, pickled in Prosecco and sherry, had indeed made a baby. But this was my second child. I knew the signs by then.

With my first it was different. I was busy juggling London life, study, and a wonderful relationship with a solvent man; careless enough to forget my pill, though, while working like a demon in the month up to my journalism finals.

It’s a tale as old as time, and as common as a cold. And even though a tiny part of me knew I could be pregnant, like many students I’d been drinking like a fish. There was that night I went to a gig with my sister, and ended up in a gay bar in Soho; the surprise party for Tom where we got everyone pole-dancing before the night was done. The night we stayed up 'til dawn doing Christ knows what with Tom's banking colleagues. And even though I racked my brain going back over the dates to pinpoint exactly when it might have been that I conceived, it does little to alleviate my guilt.

I was upfront with the doctor who confirmed my pregnancy. He tried to alleviate my fears, telling me his own his wife didn't realise she was pregnant 'til five months gone. Other mums agreed: "Don’t worry. We all did it"; "They’re not hooked up to your blood supply in the first month - they're in a separate bag."

Jonah may have been born a good weight, with no delay in his speech or language or other signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - but my son has Asperger’s syndrome, for which doctors can’t agree on one single cause. There’s no known link between AS and alcohol; but, as I search my beautiful son for the tell-tale inverted crescents at the corner of his eyes – visible markers of Foetal Alcohol Syndrome – I can convince myself they are there. Regardless of the fact I can see the same inverted crescents on the eyes of my cousin's little boy; on a photograph of my great-great grandfather, who has the same stern gaze as Jonah.

One of problems is women today drink more than previous generations. I don’t know how many of our parents were out drinking Jagermeister on a Tuesday night - although many more may have casually smoked 20 Silk Cut a day. The damage we can do unwittingly is frightening – and no one seems prepared to give an accurate assessment of the risk moderate alcohol consumption in pregnancy may cause. Since I had my children, I’ve read newspaper headlines suggesting anything from one unit a day to no alcohol at all can be considered safe. Some even maintain alcohol in moderation could be beneficial. No one really knows - and the fact is, as my midwives said to me, most babies are conceived in a sea of alcohol. They wouldn’t get made otherwise.

A recent article by Emma Barnett in the Telegraph, on her increasing willingness to judge women who drink while pregnant, raises an issue which seems to be increasingly in the ether. Are the rights of the unborn child to a healthy start more important than the mother-to-be's right to drink? She cites the case of a barman who refused to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman, and believes people should feel more comfortable exercising their concern for the unborn child in this way. But is she, a woman yet to have children, right to judge women who drink in pregnancy at all?

Conversely, should the law go further to protect babies from their mother's choices? A test case which will shortly go before the Court of Appeal is attempting to extract damages from the mother of a child who suffers from Fetal Alchohol Syndrome - on the ground that the child has been the victim of a crime.

According to current figures there are approximately 7,000 cases of Foetal Alcohol Syndrome a year. And given modern drinking habits, that number may be rising. So is it time to replace guidelines for women consuming alcohol in pregnancy – currently no more than one or two units a week – with laws? Or would legislating against alcohol consumption in pregnancy create more problems than it would solve?

The moment a woman's right to choose how to conduct themselves while pregnant becomes controlled by law, we have begun to lose ownership of our bodies – and that has to be a dangerous thing. It has all sorts of implications for a woman's right to choose - the recent case of the Italian woman with mental health issues, whose baby was forcibly removed by caesarean, springs to mind.

Alongside the difficulties of policing alcohol consumption in pregnancy (would we legislate against women who have two drinks a week instead of one? Imprison those whose babies are born with foetal alcohol syndrome? What about those who don’t know they are pregnant, or aren’t showing yet - where do we draw the line?) we have to ask ourselves how punitive measures against the mothers whose choices (itself a spurious concept, in my book) damage their unborn child is going to be a positive step for anyone involved. Surely, if society is judged against how we treat our most vulnerable, the only way to make the best of a bad fist is a to be supportive of both mother and child?

And, if we start saying only fit, healthy, sober women are allowed to have babies, then where does it end? Should only solvent women be allowed to have children? Or only clever women? Middle-class women? Attractive women?

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Until you have children of your own it’s very easy to have (literally) pre-conceived notions of how you will be as a mother, like Emma Barnett in the Telegraph. You imagine cultivating a stress-free pregnancy full of yoga classes and organic veggies - but until you have been there and lived it, you’re in La La land.

I don’t know many mums who don’t do the best they can for their kids– as yet unborn or already screaming to high heaven – but that 'best' will be different depending on their circumstances, outlook and priorities. And there’s no changing that without increasing social equality. What’s more, I don’t know where official class lines are drawn when it comes to social drinking - but wine o’clock is, in my experience, a yummy mummy stalwart.

And, even after all that guilt, when my second pregnancy was over, I heaved a sigh of relief and treated myself to a glass or two of Cloudy Bay, baby clamped to my nipple and resolutely ignore anyone who dared give me the mildest look of reproach. Why? Because, when you’ve been up three times a night for the best part of three years, you begin to realise that it isn’t what’s best for baby that’s best for anyone. It’s what’s best for you. And if that means relaxing with a small glass of wine, whatever stage of motherhood you may be at, then so be it.

[confuddledDOTcom]

people don't drink just because they're stressed, they drink because it's a choice. In my kitchen I have carling, red wine, amaretto, coke, oj, coconut & pineapple juice... Right now my choice is coke but Monday I really wanted a carling, not because I was stressed, I like it and wanted some. When I'm pregnant I make the same choices. I'm not stressed but fancy that at that moment. I'm not a big drinker, if I want to make that choice it's up to me. No one owns my womb.

I stand by my previous statement that a woman drinking to that level has other problems and needs help not a conviction.

[Devora]

I'm going to say it one last time, very very clearly: I did NOT refer to women's reproductive freedom as the right to party; I DID say it was too important to be portrayed as simply the right to party.

[Devora]

Ah, now I'm not agreeing with you Chunderella. Now I'm feeling patronised.

I have said repeatedly throughout this thread that I think sacrificing women's reproductive rights is too high a price to pay and I am dead against any criminalisation of drinking during pregnancy. I have been a pro-choice activist for 30 years, and have worked in abortion clinics. I am also the mother of a child damaged by alcohol and drugs in utero.

Please don't fucking lecture me that I have to choose which side I'm on, or accuse me of trivialising the issues. My whole point - which seems to have been lost on you, despite me explaining it throughout the thread - is that it is, in my view, trivialising the issue to have these threads dominated by women who are not struggling with addiction, whose children are healthy, who do not have social services involvement in their lives, and who have been able to enjoy a great deal of reproductive autonomy, and who think that this is all about them enjoying a few glasses of bubbly early on in pregnancy. The real nub of the issue - including but not limited to the suffering of children born with FAS - never seems worthy of much beyond acknolwedgement.

It's no part of my feminism to 'ignore the interests' of hurt and hurting children. I do not see their interests as being subordinate to mine. And don't tell me that you sympathise: you quite clearly don't and have no interest in developing any understanding whatsoever.

[midwifeandmum]

Can be safe but no research to say it is. Thats why regulations and advice changed in 2005 to say NO drinking is advised in pregnancy. Whereas it used to be advised 1-2 units

[midwifeandmum]

Omg how is there NO evidence linking alcohol with abnormalities in children exposed to alcohol.

Fetal alcohol syndrome is caused by alcohol consumption during pregnancy..... hence the name.

There is no known proof of how many units consumed by mother to cause FAS, it could be very few to alot of units.

Ive seen a mother 5 years ago DRUNK whilst in labour. She had been secretly drinking at home when she prematurely went into labour.

I dont know the outcome as I dont liase with health visitors etc. But I do know that its a very dangerous game to mess around with drink and drugs whilst pregnant. The placenta feeds baby everything we ate/drink.

so please if your really stressed out and need that smoke/drink. think how stressful it could be in future years with a child unable to do alot of what kids their age can do. Get help for an addiction.

[Devora]

Chunderella, I was criticising the way these threads collapse the continuum and only pay lip service to the situation of the unborn child. Though I agree that women should not be criminalised for what they do to their bodies during pregnancy, children like mine seem to be invisible on these threads - their interests ignored in favour of the 'right to party'.

And I agree with your post

[janebblogger]

Oops I mean to say 'I did not drink' and no I haven't been 'drinking'

[janebblogger]

I did not drinking during my three pregnancies. Well, as soon as I got the double blue line I was saintly. It just felt wrong with that little person growing inside me. Even when people were quite insistent I have a little sip I easily refused. There is no clear research stating how much is too much, so I'd advise woman to abstain. Perhaps they could pass a law that partners should too?

[Devora]

It largely is, creamteas; I'm just making the point that although all are agreed that this shouldn't be criminalised, that doesn't mean that there aren't (or shouldn't be) legal ramifications.

Of course women in that situation should be offered help. and where they are, they should be offered more and better help. But everyone who has worked with addictions knows that many don't want that help, or can't make it even with that help. So it can't be suggested as a straightforward alternative. When women addicted to drugs or alcohol give birth, it is still not an automatic presumption that they won't be able to care effectively for their child. But it will absolutely be used as part of the evidence that they can't.

I'm labouring this a bit because sometimes on these threads you get a bit of romanticism (not saying that is true of anyone on this thread particularly), a suggestion that children wouldn't need to be taken into care if only their mothers were offered help. When you have seen women who have been on a rollercoaster of intervention and support for YEARS, who have had 6, 8, 10 children born with brain damage, you realise what a high price is paid for our (justified) refusal to countenance forced sterilisation or criminalisation.

[confuddledDOTcom]

A woman who is drinking to those extremes needs help and I'd hope that would be obvious to those around her.

[StarlightMcKingsThree]

I think strong education and support needs to be given to women who are addicts in order to prevent pregnancies whilst they are in that condition and long term contraception made easy and encouraged, and then full support to address the addiction should they want to have children (or in any case).

[creamteas]

women who abuse their children by causing them to have FAS may expect to attract the attention of social services

Given that FAS only ever occurs in women who are chronic alcoholics, it would be astonishing if this wasn't already happening.

[Devora]

I agree with everyone on here, with the caveat that while I agree drinking in pregnancy should not be criminalised, women who abuse their children by causing them to have FAS may expect to attract the attention of social services.

[confuddledDOTcom]

I have never not drunk in pregnancy, I'm not an excessive drinker naturally and can go months without and only have a glass or two when I do. I think women need to choose for themselves, when I drink in pregnancy it's almost in recognition of that fact.

I do not think we can go down the road that America is and once you get on that road it's a difficult one to get off.

[RandomInternetStranger]

Can someone explain what "disabilist" language I used to have my post removed? As far as I remember I may have said moron or that we need a cull of stupid people but I don't see stupidity as a disability, I see it as a choice. Is stupidity now a disability??

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Yet again a couple of idiot men trying to balls things up for women.

Whoever proposed this should be sacked. And whoever gave it airtime too.

[CornwallMum107]

I'm sorry to say we appear to have been dragged into yet another "downer" conversation with Society suggesting, yet again, that women are incapable of making a sensible decision when they're pregnant. Should we all be back in crinolines, obeying our husbands and fathers? What Society cannot seem to get its head round is that the vast majority of women do care about their unborn children and are perfectly capable of making sensible judgments on what's right for them..... as an individual. If that means abstaining from alcohol, so be it. Equally that might mean drinking in moderation. You will always get the small percentage who can't make sensible choices but as one of the comments above rightly says, they need help not criminal sanctions.
My biggest gripe is that we shouldn't allow ourselves to be dragged into these debates but should send the answer back to Society that we, as women, are perfectly capable and have every right to make individual choices about our bodies, pregnancy, birth, childcare and all the other areas of life we seem to spend our time being barracked about by well meaning do-gooders, random medical surveys and over excited media sources.

[LurcioLovesFrankie]

"Her view was that if the general public (and that includes most of us) were to see the suffering these children go through then we would have very different opinions about a woman's right to abuse these substances in pregnancy"

I have read about FAS and the effects of drug abuse in utero. I know that the effects are horrific. But I have also read about women being denied life-saving treatment (the recent case in Ireland where a woman was denied an abortion despite miscarriage being inevitable, and died of massive systemic infection as a direct result, cases in Nicaragua where women have died from ectopic pregnancies because of the restrictions on abortion). I still come down on the side of the rights of human beings who already exist, rather than the rights of foetuses who are not yet, but which might eventually become human beings.

And I say that as someone who carried a very much wanted pregnancy to term, and was totally paranoid about avoiding anything that might have harmed that pregnancy. But the key point is that I, the woman in question, wanted that pregnancy, and I, the adult woman, the person, chose voluntarily to make sacrifices. It was not forced on me by society, and any society which would force those choice and sacrifices on me would, in my opinion, be a totalitarian society.