Tell me your success stories with private schools for academic and non-sporty child

[Noechochamber]

Tell me about your experience of schools which offered academic rigour and level-headed ethos for bright, eccentric, non sporty boys. Independent for 4-11/13. Ideally day and coed but will go for boys only if offers right culture. Looking for non-pretentious with focus on instilling love of learning and critical thinking over traditional/rugby boys schooling. Noting these schools lean towards being town schools (as opposed to masses of land for sports).

Willing to move for right place (we work remote). Ds6 currently in state and is bored and frustrated by lack of challenge particularly in maths. Welcome useful tips for schools providing the culture mentioned above. Thanks 

[BlossomBlossomBlossom]

No decent independent school is going to boast of academic rigour without a concomitant programme of mostly outdoor sports and activities.

Mens sans in corpore sano is the motto of one of the most sought after prep schools in the country. The whole ethos of ‘elite’ UK education (particularly for boys) is based on sport and exercise supporting a child’s academic endeavours. And sporting teamwork building skills for life. I think a school would struggle to get through many inspections if it kept pupils locked in classrooms with no fresh air and exercise …

[Twilightstarbright]

I can PM you where my son goes. Yes there’s sport but there’s also music, arts, STEM, chess and lots of other areas for boys to shine in. It’s certainly not a sport or nothing school.

[BlossomBlossomBlossom]

But all those activities are offered at every good independent school, @Twilightstarbright . You surely can’t imagine yours is the only institution that has them?

[Pr1mr0se]

I'd say even if your sons are not sporty, an independent school will have a good range of team sports which change termly and are usually part of the timetable 3+ times a week. They may find something they like that way.

Boys (and girls) need the exercise and it does help with concentration too for when they are in the classroom. Don't be put of a school because it looks sporty but look at the range of other things they offer. Some schools are equally musical or provide a good tech / design grounding for instance.

All schools have a strength so it's worth looking through their extra-curricular activities too but the best option is to make a short list and go and visit them and ask lots of questions.

[Twilightstarbright]

@BlossomBlossomBlossom wow I genuinely had no idea other schools offered these activities too 😉

The ETHOS of the school is why I recommend it- participating in orchestra or junior robotics competitions is seen as just as important as playing in a rugby match.

I’m only trying to help the OP with a suggestion of a school I’ve had a positive experience with.

[AmaryllisChorus]

We found that school. I loved the fact that while sport was encouraged and praised, it had no status above anything else. The school was very obviously equally or more proud of boys' academic, musical, scientific, art and writing accomplishments. Its ethos was to foster critical thinking, kindly, supportive friendships, hard work and admiration of the achievements of others. It had a great pastoral set up too, so that neurodiverse pupils or those with MH issues did not get isolated or overlooked.

My non sporty DC thrived there, won awards, got excellent grades, got into top unis. And ironically, one of them ended up playing a rather unsporty sport at national level!

DM me if you want the name of the school. I loved it and am so glad they went there.

[AmaryllisChorus]

@BlossomBlossomBlossom

But all those activities are offered at every good independent school, @Twilightstarbright . You surely can’t imagine yours is the only institution that has them?

At DC's primary all these things were offered, But only sport mattered. Sporting champions were treated like superstars. Huge trophies were given out. Children who struggled due to dyspraxia or similar were treated as lazy and second class citizens. Meanwhile, there was zero opportunity to win an award or shine academically. No creative writing prizes, spelling bees, maths tournaments. I remember DS2 who really didn't excel at much in those days, but was good at spelling, was desperate to shine and asked if they could create a team to join a national spelling bee. His teacher said no one would be interested. My other DS was even told by a teacher to tone down his intelligence if he wanted any friends, which he blithely ignored.

So, we chose to look very carefully for a secondary school that had the right attitude and priorities. As @Twilightstarbright says, it's the ethos of the school that is all important.

[AmaryllisChorus]

@Twilightstarbright - I can't help wondering if it's the same school. We had to look at a lot of places to find one that had this ethos.

[CatchAButterfly]

@Twilightstarbright and @AmaryllisChorus. Where are your schools based? Looking at prep schools now for DS who will start next year.

[WarningOfGails]

Manchester Grammar School comes to mind.

[Twilightstarbright]

@CatchAButterfly Hertfordshire.

[CatchAButterfly]

@Twilightstarbright

@CatchAButterfly Hertfordshire.

Which is where I’m looking. Can you PM the school if possible?

[Twilightstarbright]

@CatchAButterfly just sent it

[Changingskies]

You aren’t considering the State Grammar School route ? In my experience with DS this works very well ( though he took up a Sport in yr9 that he enjoys and does 3/4 days a week - I never would have expected that at 6)

[MigAndMog]

I would plan some visits to your nearest independent schools; most have open days in March. Look for those that are academically selective, at least to some extent and ask what they do for those most able at maths. Also ask if they have specialist teachers from Year 3 for eg languages, drama, music and sport - this makes the day more interesting. Don't rule out those with multiple sports sessions a week - most will do that and the amount of exercise helps them with the rest of the day. He may enjoy it more than you expect with specialist PE/games staff. Also check the range of extra curricular clubs etc.

[wiltonian]

Will PM with our experience - but it's a school in the SW which is selective but very inclusive of those who want to learn Pi to many, many digits as well as the rugby team...

[Nbobun]

I won't call our story "success" as DS is still very young but since he moved from an outstanding state primary (where he was bored) to his current school, he is doing really well in everything especially maths. His maths used to ok, classed as "exceeding" at state school, but lacked fluency in recalls. Now he's one school year ahead compared to state school and his recall speed and accuracy has been excellent. DS is not sporty either but has found his love for sport since he moved school. They cover 12 subjects every school term whereas at state school it's half the topic to less depth. Plus so much more opportunities in school clubs.
Most importantly, DS is so excited going to school every day. New school is definitely more stretching and it's amazing how much a child can develop when you give them the opportunity.

[DEI2025]

If he is bored and frustrated by the lack of challenge particularly in maths, no school will suit him well. The home school will be a good choice.

[MigAndMog]

An academically selective private school with a class of 16-20 and possibly also putting them in ability sets for maths in KS2 should be able to challenge and excite the more able mathematicians much more easily than a state school dealing with 30 children and probably more issues in the classroom too. It's worked for our DS. For example, he did all the standard times tables tests in the first term of year 3 whereas the state school didn't start them until year 4 and then made them do them one times table at a time just multiplying then just dividing then combined so it is painfully slow for those who can already pass a test of all times tables combined when they enter year 3. Also they just get through the material in most subjects more quickly and it leaves time for all sorts of enrichment activities. His experience in the two schools couldn't be more different and his love of learning has returned.

[Merrow]

What about Scotland? I went to an independent school there, and while sport was available it didn't matter the way it seems to in English schools. And Uni would be free.

[SuiGeneris]

One of the very selective schools will do the trick. Think Westminster (incl WUS), King's College Schoool etc. These schools are used to having lots of very bright kids who sometimes struggle with the coordination required by sport or, quite simply, would rather be in the library than on the sports pitch. Look at what clubs are popular and how much chess/quiz/music/drama are celebrated on the website as compared to sports.
Also, many will have experience of unsporty, academic kids and therefore will have sports teachers and options that are sympathetic. So you don't have to play rugby, you can go running or play a variety of other sports instead. PM me if you would like further details.