G&T advice

[wheresthebrokenglass]

Posting for some advice because tbh most of the resources I have looked at online aren't helping me. Sorry it's long

My DS doesn't have eidetic memory but memory recall is exceptional. For context, LO is Y1 summer born, reading stage 9 ort (I know reading level is not indicative of g&t) teacher has said she knows he can read anything but is slowing him down for comprehension although his understanding is mostly there if he enjoys the storyline, maths he can add large numbers upto 1000s (so for example 1240+230 etc) multiplication/division understanding is there and recall of x's. General knowledge, he tends to get very interested in certain topics for months so countries, flags, continents, capital cities, Pangea, solar system. Hes been interested in the solar system since around 3 and knows more than any adult I know. He plays like most other kids his age (youngest of 4DC) and is interested in age appropriate games - loves Lego, creative play, paw patrol 🤦🏽‍♀️ Isn't particular sporty, does a few after school activities.

My issue is that despite bringing it up with school several times he's just not being stretched, I joined potential plus with the hope of getting him tested but it's just too expensive and I don't find the resources that much help. His school is independent, they obviously know he's bright but I feel like I'm having the same discussions with them and they tell me they are stretching him but I see no evidence of it and it feels like he could be doing so much more. I was told he'd have 1-1 time to further his knowledge and he does extension work in most class work which is an additional worksheet on the topic they're doing. The class size is quite small, under 13 kids, and I'm told the conversations throughout the day with him encourage him to further his knowledge and are 'at his level'. Perhaps because it's independent I am expecting too much, he is happy though and enjoys school so should I just let him be? I feel like he has a real 'gift' and I don't know how to best advocate for him.

[thistimelastweek]

He sounds great. He sounds amazing.
So let him be.
He has to navigate the real world and if he's really that smart and clever he won't necessarily look back and thank you for advocating for him.

[wheresthebrokenglass]

@thistimelastweek

He sounds great. He sounds amazing.
So let him be.
He has to navigate the real world and if he's really that smart and clever he won't necessarily look back and thank you for advocating for him.

Thanks

We definitely don't want to parent in such a way that would put pressure on him, and in comparison to friends/family parenting I would say we're on the more relaxed/take it how it goes. But I do worry I'm doing him a disservice sometimes.
We have older kids (14, 16, 19) so have learned that their paths are their own and may not always be the way you had planned or hoped. Their learning experience was very different to youngest, they weren't exposed to as much as he is, state school the whole way and had to work hard to keep up with their peers academically whereas it comes so easy to him. Perhaps it's self help books i need 😂

[extrastrongmints]

UK schools don't tend to cater well for gifted kids. That's not going to change any time soon - they are not a priority for any political party. So, as far as schools go, prepare to be disappointed. Private schools are not in themselves a solution - they teach broadly the same curriculum at broadly the same rate. What your fees go towards is a smaller class size, perhaps more specialist teaching for sports and music, more extracurricular clubs, and tea and biscuits at your parent-teacher meetings. Schools that are academically selective cater well to most kids in the top quartile of the ability range, but can still leave those in the top 1-2% underchallenged.
You can request acceleration - it's at the discretion of the principal and they'll probably say no.
You can request flexi-schooling - same story.
You can try to find another school that will cater better. They're few and far between.
You can remove him from school and home-educate. At least you're then able to cater to the level he's actually at, but then he misses the social side of school.
Or you can accept that school is for playing with friends, much of his time there will be wasted, and most of the real learning will happen outside school hours, while continuing to advocate for him to get whatever concessions you can from the school.

[wiltonian]

Based on our experience, if he’s happy let him be. They will tell you when they are bored….

[OldTinHat]

As others have said, let him be. I had two in the GAT cohort from primary through to college. Teachers at parent's evening would always get very excited about how they were destined for Oxbridge.

Eldest is a surveyor, youngest is at med school. Neither went to Oxbridge because they didn't like the style of teaching.

Your DC will find his own way. Just let him find his own path.

[Grinchinlaws]

Does he play a musical instrument? Year 1/2 is a good time to start and it’s a great way of stretching able children sideways. If he is good at maths he will probably enjoy/find aspects of it come naturally, but like everyone he will also need to practice which will instil discipline/perseverance that he might not otherwise get if he finds schoolwork easy.

[wheresthebrokenglass]

@extrastrongmints @wiltonian @OldTinHat thanks for the advice. I was hoping by him being at an independent it would further him along and he'd be able to go at his pace rather than what's set. In the long run as long as we can make sure he doesn't get bored and he's still enjoying school as he is now that's the main thing

@Grinchinlaws I've been trying to find a piano teacher outside of school for him. I must have called about 15 and no spots left. Will keep searching, I think it's something he'll really enjoy

[matup]

I have a gifted child currently in Y6. Only one teacher during the 7 years of school was able to (at least attempt to) stretch him. Now he has a teacher who is only capable of teaching the y6 national curriculum and DS understands this.

We found uni students who could discuss various science topics and high level maths. It was hard to find someone who would get him though so lots of trial and errors. But it we found the right people in the end.

Other parents probably thought we were pushy parents but we're not; we were only trying to make DS happy as he clearly wasn't.

With the right stretches he is now very happy at school, and is looking forward to moving onto a secondary school with (hopefully) more like-minded kids like him.

[matup]

Also if your son is keen, volunteering to be a leader of some sort (school council, sports leader etc) that would be a good thing to do as it will improve his communication skills. Try and do anything that he might find challenging. Doesn't have to be academic. Sometimes learning to fail and problem solving are fantastic life skills.

[Singleandproud]

I would continue as you are, the academics will sort themselves out but expose him to as much as possible outside of school whether that's art, music, puzzles /problem solving or nature to enrich his life. He might know alot but applying his skills in the real world or learning how to present information rather than talking at people etc might be useful rather than teaching him more teach him how to use it.

There are going to be areas he struggles even if you can't see it yet, DD did the WISC V assessment as part of her autism assessment and it found that whilst she was 'highly gifted' in several academic areas her working memory and processing speed were 'high average' so in order you meet her full potential she now has certain adjustments in place to level out her spiky profile.

[lanthanum]

Is he happy at school? If so, don't worry.

It can be really difficult to tell if they are being stretched. Stretch isn't all about doing more worksheets or learning extra things. More often it is about being asked "what if...?" That question and the thinking that follows it won't be recorded anywhere that you'd see (possibly in a lesson-planning proforma, although an experienced teacher will be able to throw in those questions without writing them down), and the chances of a 5 year old remembering it, thinking it significant, and telling you about it are slim. So the stretch could be happening without you being aware of it.

[evelynevelyn]

It doesn't solve your school issue, but getting him into chess or competitive scrabble could be a good idea. He will compete at his skill level regardless of age (no special arrangement needed), and the side benefit is that you will meet lots of other bright children there and their parents, who may have similar experiences to you.

[evelynevelyn]

Possible downsides are that he may become even more aware that he is more capable than others his age. But he's likely to make friends he has things in common with.

[Muu9]

Check out Beast Academy

[evelynevelyn]

@Muu9

Check out Beast Academy

Seconded! And Khan Academy (the main one, if Khan Academy Kids is too easy now), and bits of Brilliant. Also TedEd on YouTube, including the TedEd riddles, which are really fun, though your child will probably need your help to work through them.

[wheresthebrokenglass]

I'm going to look for more out of school activities, things like chess and piano are things I think he'd really enjoy. I like the idea of home schooling but I think honestly I would be out of my depth, I'm not the most articulate and already struggle to explain things to him at 5 years old 🤦🏽‍♀️

Still feeling quite disappointed with the school situation, just finished his maths homework for this week an example of the q's double 5, double 3, 8-7 ! Literally took him less than 2 minutes to finish 3 pages. If this is what he's doing in school I don't know why I'm sending him!

Had a brief look at beast academy but remember the older kids using khan academy and had completely forgot how good that was.

Really appreciate the advice thanks everyone 😊

[evelynevelyn]

For chess, look at the ChessKid app (lots of it is free, though they have subscriptions too), and Google junior chess clubs near you. Junior tournaments with age categories or divisions are good too, especially if he is a competitive type. I also recommend a board game called No Stress Chess, which you can play with him.

[Happyhappyday]

It's probably worth doing some research on what gifted kids have a harder time with and seeing if any of that fits so you can sort of narrow in on what you're trying to solve for. We live abroad so different school system but we were recommended to get DC tested (WISC IV) and she tested above the 99th percentile. Her unusualness has mostly come out so far as extremely advanced language and understanding of complex concepts. She often seems to identify more closely with adults than children and is extremely imaginative.

Focus/identification of gifted kids where we are tends to be on potential/IQ, rather than academic achievement. DD struggles with trying things she can't master immediately so she can read, but gets frustrated extremely easily when she can't figure out a new word which means she doesn't want to try and can be really risk averse. She also learns hard toward perfectionism, expecting her writing to immediately look like that of an adult, again meaning she won't want to try and sometimes has a very hard time stopping until something is perfect. She is also extremely sensitive to tone of voice and facial expressions often perceives that she is in trouble and can lead to anxiety.

We are looking at sending her to an independent school for gifted kids and our impression of what independent gifted schools focus on here is depth over acceleration and meeting the social/emotional needs of gifted kids which can be different. State schools where we are focused on acceleration, which probably helps with boredom, but doesn't necessarily help with a kid who is smart enough to skate by under the radar while never really learning to be persistent when things get hard. We're looking for a school that can meet her emotional needs - she's going to learn the academic side if she has the emotional support to feel confident and secure.