This is going to be cancer isn't it?!

[Olderkidsaremine]

My Dad has had a rough time of it over the last few years - servere mental health issues and approx 10 years ago a big operation to remove lymph nodes in his neck due to skin cancer and weeks of radiothearpy afterwards.

Last Tuesday he had a chest xray after complaining about a pain in his chest - long story about doctors dismissing his concerns because his heart sounded fine and he didn't seem to have a problem with breathing, mum insisted on xray! Anyway on Thursday he had a call arranging for a consultants appointment on the 5th December and then over the weekend a letter came through booking him in for a 'scan' on Saturday 1st at 1.30pm.

We are all trying to stay positive - better knowing sooner rather than later etc etc. But this isn't going to end well is it? Any ideas what it could be? Should mention that he has been a smoker for over 50 years.

[Meganlillymai]

Hope you all enjoyed a peaceful Xmas and new year. Good to see you got to spend it with dad

[Saminthemiddle]

Happy for you that you have had another year with your dad but it isn't easy is it, I had the same with my mum. Lets hope he has Christmas with you all, lots of love and hugs too xxx

[helzapoppin2]

Glad Dad is still with you, but sorry to hear he is not so well.
My best wishes for a peaceful Christmas for all of you.
Love and hugs x

[Olderkidsaremine]

Hello everyone

Its been over a year since I started this thread and I'm pleased to say that Dad is still around. There is a big but though, in that at the last scan it showed some thickening on the bad lung which they couldn't say for sure wasn't the lung cancer becoming more active.

We were also told that regardless dad wouldn't be offered any further treatment, neither radiotherapy or chemotherapy.

We know that the cancer is becoming more active, dad has lost his voice - either the cancer has wrapped itself around the nerve controlling the vocal chord or the radiotherapy has affected it. He has lost his appetite and finding it more of a struggle to get up and down the stairs and in and out of bed. He's had two lots of antibiotics in the last 6 weeks and generally he is getting weaker, also he seems to have given up - Mum threatened him with going into hospital if he didn't eat and drink and he just shrugged his shoulders.

I think that this is now the beginning of the end and are hoping that he makes it through to Christmas.

[Meganlillymai]

WOW That's fabulous news!! I'm really pleased for you and your family and especially your father.

[digerd]

Great news . What a relief for you all. to celebrate.

[Olderkidsaremine]

Hi All

Well the 8th has come and gone with the good news that the cancer has shrunk!!! Not gone but definitely smaller.

Dad will have a follow uup scan or x ray in two months time and we will see what will happen from then.

It certainly wasn't the result I was expecting but so glad it exceeded it, I don't think it has really sunk in yet but I'm certainly happier than I have been for a while.

[Meganlillymai]

Great news that you're dad if feeling happy in himself.

Sorry about your mum though, good luck with the scan results your father is a trooper

[digerd]

You and your mum have had a long period of traumatic worry, since November. Sorry your DM is now unwell. Your dad has done really well, considering all the set backs he has had. "eating well and happy in himself* is a really good sign.
Good luck for the scan results.

[Olderkidsaremine]

Just an update, its now 7 months since the non removal operation and Dad has had 2 rounds of chemo - couldn't complete the course as his blood count was too low - but was able to have all the radiotherapy sessions. Was pretty unwell at times but got through it all. We are now waiting for a new scan and a meeting with the oncologist on the 8th August. He seems to be doing well, eating well and fairly happy in himself which in turn helps everyone else to carry on - except my brother who is still with his head in the sand but I can't control how he thinks about things and he has his wife to help him out as he been next to useless in supporting me!

Now its my Mum having problems - stroke type symptoms and only a couple of days ago went blind in one eye for a few hours!!

Writing things down at the time helped so much and made me realise that I wasn't alone and that mumsnetters had been in the same position and got through it so so could I.

[Meganlillymai]

Anymore news Hun x

[Meganlillymai]

Sorry to hear about ur loss. Ur dads coping well. Does he get counceling or anyone to talk to. Fingers still crossed x

[digerd]

OP my mum died aged 83 when my DH was in hospital for tests with recurring cancer and we knew this time it was much worse than before. I cried over mum once, but my real concern was for DH who was only 57 and in awful pain. That's how it is.

[Olderkidsaremine]

Glad everything was clear Megan Dads still in hospital - they don't seem to be sure what is wrong with him, supposed to have chemo next week but we don't know if that will go ahead. He was with 2 other men who's cancer seemed more advanced than his and I think it has dawned on him what's going to happen if the chemo doesn't work as he said he felt a bit down yesterday - he never says anything like that he is always 'fine' if asked!

Crap week and my aunt died on Wednesday - mum's sister - so I'm trying to support her but she said she isn't thinking about it Dad is her concern at the moment!

[Meganlillymai]

Test was clear. How's ur father today. X

[Meganlillymai]

She's just gone for her appointment, will keep u updated. Lets hope it's not ur fathers bad lung. Cancer is a horrible thing I'm in such a mood a dive had to send my little girl who's only 1. To her dads I don't want to be mad around her :-( let me no how ur dad gets on. Fingers crossed for him

[Olderkidsaremine]

He was taken into hospital today with an infection! Not sure where but had a chest x ray to check if it was in the bad lung.

I was OK but not now.

Hopes its good news about your mum Megan and that they are being super efficient.

[Meganlillymai]

Ur doing well and so is ur father. My mum had some news as her breast screening came back irregular and she's to go for more scans. Asoon as she told me this I rememberd what you wer going through and thought of ur father. It's a scary time. Praying for our parents.

[Olderkidsaremine]

Thanks for the interest Megan. It seems so long ago since my last post and its a shock to realise that its only a little over a month ago! Well Dad made a remarkable recovery in the end and was home on the Wednesday after his weekend in Critical Care - very sore, still confused as to why he had to go through the operation if they couldn't take out the lung but was able to eat well and seemed more his normal self.

Since then we have had a trip back to see the oncologist who said that chemo and radiotherapy was the way to go and also told Dad it was unlikely that it would be a cure, which confirmed what the rest of us was thinking but made him happy that he had a chance.

Chemo started on the 7th Feb and apart from hiccups - which is a side effect of the chemo drug - he seemed OK, very sleepy but we all expected that, he then took to falling! Apparently caused by low blood pressure. Also on the 7th he went and got marked out for the radiotherapy. Mum then had a call last Wednesday saying the radiotherapy couldn't go ahead as it was to close to the area where he had it 10 years ago! Mum was and is devastated what little chance she thought he had has diminished little by little as more things can't be done for him. Not sure if the rest of us have really taken it in that if he can't tolerate the side effects of the chemo - which involve sickness nausea and a very sore mouth - then his chances of him living for very long are getting shorter and shorter! Today he has also complained about a pain in his chest - he never complains so it must be pretty bad

I seem to be OK at the moment getting on with work and life in general, keeping kids updated about what is happening etc. I've found that if I occupy my hands then my brain gets a rest from thinking so have knitted a scarf, played computer games and have started to redecorate!!

[Meganlillymai]

Anymore news x

[longingforsomesleep]

olderkidsaremine - my heart goes out to you. It's little more than a year since I lost my dad to lung cancer. Did the surgeon not give you any indication of whether or not there was any further treatment they could offer? Once the hospital finally diagnosed my dad (having diagnosed him 2 weeks earlier with "a chest infection") they were very good about making sure we had all the facts and what the outlook was. They also arranged for someone to come and talk us through the options of him going into a hospice or us nursing him at home and the consultant who told us what his outlook was said we could ring his office any time if we had any further questions.

Could you ask the ward doctors to arrange for someone to come and talk you through what happens next? And can't they give your dad more pain relief? It's a truly horrible thing for you all to be going through and you have all my sympathy.

[digerd]

My DH had the other type of lung cancer, so I don't know anything about his squamous cell type. But am still shocked that they couldn't tell how bad it was with all the CT and PET scans he had. And so sorry that he is now in terrible pain and the op wasn't possible.
Keep us posted. Our thoughts , sympathy and well wishes are with you

[Olderkidsaremine]

Dad wasn't told the evening of his operation they left it until Thursday Morning to tell him - he seemed to take it well but was drugged up on morphine and had an epidural in and also some other stuff which all in all left him very sleepy and in considerable pain so how much he took in we didn't know! But he needed to be told again on Saturday by mum and myself at different times.

On Saturday evening he was transferred to Critical Care - I thought it was one down from Intensive Care but its the same thing in this hospital! Because his lung had collapsed - his bad lung not his good one - and was on a cpap (sp) machine overnight. That is a phone call I never want to receive again!

We spent all day there yesterday and the surgeon came in and had to tell him again that he couldn't take out his lung - he had asked me on Saturday why he was in so much pain if they hadn't taken it out and I had to explain that they didn't know the extent of the cancer until they had opened him up.

My poor Dad, he's in pain, he's now confused and we haven't been told what the next plan is whether chemo or radiotherapy and when its going to take place.

I hate this, I think I'm coping with stuff and then look in the mirror and think 'oh no you're not' I'm constantly on the verge of tears, not eating properly as have no appetite - even chocolate isn't doing the trick - and was awake early this morning watching the snow fall!!

[yani]

OP- Sorry to hear your news. Strength to you and your family.

[NorthernLurker]

Thinking of you and your dad OP



Megan - hope you get some more news soon.