Hi,
me & my husband has been going through our fostering application for now going onto 7 month.
Our panel should have been this month but due to delays with annual leave with our social worker, it has been delayed to August as no dates available for July.
we’ve been super proactive as it’s something we both are very passionate about (my mum is a foster carer and i was inspired by her growing up in a foster carer household). The books my social worker told me to read i’ve done - pretty much everything she’s asked we’ve done happily!
i’ve been told throughout that we’re lovely and ideal and that everything seems so good especially due to my understanding and knowledge from growing up with my mum being a foster carer.
when we came to the identity forum part, it seemed an issue stemmed here. Me and my husband is all fairness aren’t so educated and knowledge in the LGBTQ+ however our closest friends are apart of this community. I.e, Gay, Bisecual etc. we mentioned we’d have absolute no issue at all looking after children who identify as apart of this community as they are still human, still require the same love, care and support. Although in my religion it isn’t supported, I did mention that it still states to accept everyone etc. i mentioned yes If i had my own children - I would want them to follow my religion, but ultimately if they chose that path i’d have to support bc they are my children. (We don’t have kids currently)
this seemed to have caused a big bump in our application. The next session our social worker basically said they don’t think they can take us forward regardless that every other thing about our application was great?
i was really taken back and surprised as it wasn’t something we even said no to? We were open and i even asked for training and education so I can be more knowledgable in this sector.
we basically got told we can continue but she’d be giving a negative review or we can withdraw our application.
i think this is really unfair and all the hard work we did, i don’t want to have to start with another agency and go through this again. I don’t want to give up either as I believe we have a real good motivation and passion for helping children in need and we have so much love to give. However realistically am i being silly to continue on?
do you reckon is it worth me fighting for this?
if so, if they still declined would that affect me going elsewhere?
Thank you appreciate its a long read!
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.
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SamiaMcx · 27/06/2023 10:41
SamiaMcx · 07/08/2023 13:42
Thanks guys for all your input.
my social worker has spoken to someone else in the team and they suggested we wait a year to show we took initiative to do relevant training etc which I don’t understand tbh. And to come back in a year to show that we allowed time.
I’m really stuck because I want to go ahead to panel but if I get declined, i don’t want to then loose out of that.
i’ve applied to another agency now but not sure if I should still go to panel with the first and try my luck. Or if that would sabotage my second try with another agency! So stressful, i do feel like my religious beliefs are not being treated with the same fairness as other peoples beliefs. ALTHOUGH, i stated i would never put my opinions or views on any foster child i would encourage them to believe in their own
gogomoto · 11/08/2023 08:27
I'm not sure exactly how you phrased it to the social worker but one thing that jumped at me in your first post was :
"Although in my religion it isn’t supported, I did mention that it still states to accept everyone etc. i mentioned yes If i had my own children - I would want them to follow my religion, but ultimately if they chose that path i’d have to support bc they are my children."
Your part about if they chose that path specifically, might be what they took exception to because you don't choose to be gay, it's just who you are and what religion or culture you are doesn't change your sexuality, it's not a choice.
If you reword as: I will support my dc whatever paths they take in life , whatever their sexuality is, and whilst I would prefer they chose to follow my religion I will support them whatever faith they choose or if they choose none.
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