Absolutely no experience - any chance?

[Angelinia]

DH and I can't biologically have our own children. We were offered IVF but decided not to go down that route.

We are fortunate enough to have 3 spare bedrooms - our house is very spacious and I have a lot of time and love to give.

I feel very pulled towards fostering older children, perhaps sibling groups, and would feel privileged to advocate for them and provide a safe, stable home environment.

But (!) Neither DH or I have provable 'experience' of children; no neices/nephews or friends with kids and I haven't babysat since I was a teenager. Would we be disregarded?

Very willing to learn and I've read so many books about trauma. I have survived (and thrived from) an abusive childhood so have a bucket load of empathy!

[Cassimin]

I would say definitely go for it if you are willing to change your life completely.
You don’t say how old you are or your employment situation but if there’s no barriers there, lack of experience with children should not be a reason not to look into it.
Fostering is very much learning on the job. Every child is different and brings with them lots of different challenges.
Ive brought up 3 birth children and 2 step children and can honestly say have learnt so much in my years of fostering that I never dreamt of learning before.

[f0stercarer]

Trust in the process. During application your strengths and weaknesses will be identified. It may be that you will be advised to get some experience or it might be that you start with some holiday cover for existing foster carers. There is a great need for foster carers who can accomodate large sibling groups to prevent them from being split up.

[mrsbitaly]

I would start off with emergency care if its possible around your life. There is such a shortage of help in this area or even restbite care may be a good starting point? I'm sure they will be able to give pointers and recommendations. Good luck I hope it works out for you!

[Angelinia]

Thank you very much for your replies, that's hopeful! I'm open to emergency/holiday cover care, I can imagine that would be a positive way to start, too.

Work wise, I have a part time job but I would be happy giving this up. Financially we're very stable with DH's income so no additional is needed. I'm late 30s and DH is late 40s.

[PabsyPops]

As a social worker who does fostering assessments... I say go for it

[CraftyGin]

They will grab you, OP.

Your suitability will come out in the 6 month assessment.

We started out signed up for teenagers, having had five children of our own, and my being a SEN teacher.

None of this counted when you actually have a teenager living with you. You just never know what is going to happen next. We had a challenging first year, to the point that I wanted to give up.

Now we have a polite 15 year old boy (who does his own thing), and a highly energetic 5 year old girl.

I think early primary is a good age. They are out of the house during the day, but still reasonably malleable. You do have to get them breakfast, do laundry and get babysitters if you want to go out.

A more established child is unlikely to be in a convenient school, so you might be doing 45 minutes + each way.

You also have to consider Contact with their parents.

What I would stress is do not make any decisions on your own about taking a child. Make sure you are counselled by your supervising social worker, and that you consider all the practical elements.

I know this sounds harsh, but you've got to make yourself #1.

[onanotherday]

To give yourself some experience consider working or volunteering with children, your DH too. This will show your commitment and also help develop skills.