Thinking of Fostering

[tiswhatitis]

My DH & I have raked about fostering for quite some time and are ready to start the next steps and I was wondering if anyone could help me with some questions we have:

Would the following be negative issues:

We both take antidepressants
We are both overweight
We had a pregnancy loss 3 years ago
We don't have children but we volunteer with a children's organisation so have PVGs (it's an organisation I was part of as I child so it was a natural progression)
We only have a two bedroom house - but we are open to offering a home to siblings if this is allowed
We both work but I'm only part time (2hrs a day and I'm home before my husband goes to work)
We have two dogs

[tiswhatitis]

Sorry I should have added we're based in Scotland

[ApolloandDaphne]

I sit on fostering panels for a Scottish LA. None of those things are deal breakers although one of you would need to be full time at home unless you wanted to offer respite:short breaks to begin with. If you are very over weight I would start trying to address that now. Maybe approach your LA and some agencies and start scoping it out. There is a massive shortage of carers at the moment so it is certainly worth having a conversation about it.

[ApolloandDaphne]

Where are you based?

[tiswhatitis]

We're in South Lanarkshire

[gospelsinger]

Working - My LA does not stipulate that one person has to be home full time. DH and I both have a mixture of flexible working and working set times (mostly when the other is wfh). Would you be able to do school drop offs and pick ups without relying on after school care?
Dogs - LA will check this out, but well behaved dogs can be an advantage. I've seen yp's profiles that say they would like to live in a home with a dog.
Overweight and anti depressants - You will have a health check before being accepted. I guess they're looking to see if issues are likely to get in the way of your ability to care. Do you think these would be a problem? Neither need to be.
Two bedroom house - perfect
Pregnancy loss - Should not be a problem, but expect to discuss this with your SW as part of process
No children - Again expect to discuss your experience and show willingness to learn. I remember learning a lot from the young childless couple, because they came at fostering fresh, rather than thinking they knew what they were doing.

Give them a call!

[Jellycatspyjamas]

The biggest issue I’d say is having a good understanding of early trauma in children and how it can present in foster placement. While you’ll get some training, I’d suggest really doing your own research and reading, talking to other foster carers. In my experience (CP social worker in Scotland) foster carers are all too often unaware of, and unprepared for, the level of support fostered children might need. In my LA one of you would need to be home full time if you were looking at a full time placement - short term respite is slightly different but the fostering allowance is in part to reflect that one carer needs to not have outside employment. I think the two Lanarkshire’s may have a similar policy.

[JCdto]

If your interested in fostering I would suggest taking a look at fosterwiki online for some really good advice. They also discuss the real issues that foster carers face daily. In addition I would take a look at the Fostering Network survey results showing how many FCs are leaving the job and why. Also be aware allegations are raised against FCs, 1 in 4 foster carers are reporting this (see fostering network reports on allegations).
I've fostered for 10 years and thought we were doing a great job only to find out that 2 girls we had for 3.5 years went home (March) to mum and 8 weeks later raised totally false and malicious allegations which has left us devastated. Again read the fostering network report (case studies) on allegations before committing to something that in a lot of cases is destroying good peoples lives. Be very open minded going into this because there are more disadvantages than advantages and you have to be very emotionally resilient to cope.

[Cassimin]

JCdto
well said. I know a couple of carers who have had allegations made against them. All false.
Little thing the kids say in school can get blown out of all proportion. Causing major upset for the carers.
Those I have spoken to have said it’s the worst experience of their lives. Social workers marching up their paths, demanding their partners return from work. Saying an allegation has been made but nothing else then removal of the child. They being left to wonder what’s gone on. It affects the whole family, suspicion all around.
I completely understand that things have to be investigated but the carers I know have cared for lots of children over many years and never had a problem. A confused traumatised child makes an allegation and their whole world is turned upside down.

[DoktaFosta]

I have a large house and my eldest is going to be moving out soon so I will have a spare bedroom.
I'm considering fostering but I have a question about approval. I had social services and the police involved because my child disclosed that in primary school there was inappropriate contact between siblings. It was deemed non violent or coercive, mutual child exploration and very common according to the police. All SS involvement ceased, no police charges etc. They just said sometimes kids do that stuff, they don't really understand what they're doing.

Would that stop me being able to foster? The 2 children would still be in the house but this occoured many years ago and was when they were 10 years old.

I don't even want to apply if it's going to be a reason to be told no.