Flouncing 101

[WilfSell]

Sign up here please for your first lesson...

Learning objectives: At the end of this module, students will be able to:

• huff loudly while tossing hair over shoulder
• click heels together
• say 'Well, I told you they were all vipers!' in a shrill voice
• Post 'AND I'm deregistering...' in italics

[georgiemama]

i learnt at primary school that no one gave a shit if i flounced off or not, so i stay and irritate instead

[WilfSell]

haha. Who would you choose Swedes? And what would be in Flouncing Room 101?

[Swedes]

I thought this was like room 101. Whereby you pick a Mumsnetter for compulsory flouncing.

[WilfSell]

Thank you for the revision notes, KristinaM. Now stop being a swotty swot and get back to reading up on random snorts and raspberries for your exam please.

[KristinaM]

you forgot

" its not like this on netmums"

" why do new posters always get ignored"

" you lot are so cliquey, me and all my pals think so"

[unknownrebelbang]

New Loook??????????

Not......



Bon Marche??????

[WilfSell]

Male students will attend extra classes on a Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. Loud long sighing will be practiced, along with frowning over spectacles, slamming doors and spending time in the shed. Newspapers optional in order to protect modesty when getting your bits out under the potting bench.

[WilfSell]

Stinkbomb letter-offers and frogspawn boilers will officially be ordained as Prefects on the first Friday of each term.

Prefects will be required to hold the door for Flouncers and subsequently guard the corridors for strays.

[madamez]

Well I'm not going anywhere. Far more satisfying to stay, and let slip the odd stinkbomb or put frogspawn in the kettle or something.

[WilfSell]

When knocking on the door requesting a re-entry, bottom lips must be stuck out 3cm.

And all non-flounced students will recite the school motto, while throwing breadrolls at the deflouncer:

Nobody Loves Me
Everybody Hates Me
I'm Going Down the Garden to Eat Worms
But I reserve the right to sneak back in under a namechange

[QuintessentialShadows]

I am a serial flouncer. I have learnt an importan lesson. I lose my self. And return in plural.

[southeastastra]

i do think flouncing is a last attempt to escape from mumsnet, it never works though does it.

[Hassled]

I think you've confused flouncing with auditioning for "I'd Do Anything". But that does provide me with the opportunity to incorporate pictures of cockney urchins in my PPT presentation, so thanks.

[WilfSell]

When flouncing, the flouncers anthem will be played over the public address system and ALL students will stand, sing along in good voice and practice kicking their neighbour firmly in the middle of the arse.

[Janni]

By the end of the first lesson one should also know that:

• Non-flouncers enjoy calling out witty retorts including 'missing you already' and 'don't forget to close the door behind you'.

• You will deregister, then lurk and mourn the loss of your cyberlife.

• Finally, you will re-register under a new identity and let battle recommence!

[WilfSell]

Students will wear the correct uniform at all times. Long skirts with lacey petticoats will be required, along with block heeled dance shoes fitted with metal heel tips. On flouncing, students are reminded that TWO quick stamps are required before the turn, not one, and that skirt hitching needs to show AT LEAST 15 inches of calf.

Any student found to be flouting these rules will be sent to New Look to change immediately.

[NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess]

it is easier to pull in vaginal muscle and nose together. just tried the opposite and wet myself

[WilfSell]

At 8.30am everyday, students will stand up, rotate their shoulders and practice:

Nostrils in
Nostrils out
Nostrils in
Nostrils out

It is particularly important to observe the tutor's pursed lips with head turned 30 degrees exactly, otherwise you will not be working the correct muscle groups. Please remember to engage your pelvic floor and traversus while flaring.

[NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess]

a reflection on my essay.

my grammar left a lot to be desired but my harvard referencing was impeccable.

[NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess]

so in conclusion Wilfsell (2008) declares that she is indeed a bitch. In comparison Southeastastra and unknownrebelbang (2008)was unable to use this information to flounce in an acceptable manner. However in this assignmant I have found mumsnet to be nothing but a nest of vipers and it could be recommended if icod(2008) could do us all a favour and flounce away.

Nigella (2008) How to flounce. Vol 3 pp278-879

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

Ya loons

[WilfSell]

Hassled, I think Powerpoint is just the kind of fancy flouncy superfluous shite skill that will get you first class marks.

[southeastastra]

maybe we should do a mass flounce for fun

[WilfSell]

NIGELLA! Please submit your assessment. If you do not I shall have to fail you!

[NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess]

i can't think of a good enough reason to flounce yet.
can someone be really rude to me so i can act all indignant and huffy.
i want to snort with flared nostrils.