Flounced out of my job

[Bactriancamel]

Have name changed for this in case it’s outing but looking for advice on what you’d do in this situation.
I’m in a relatively senior position in a media company, working in the finance department. The role I signed up to was 2 days a week in the office, 2 at home. I raised concerns at the time that the role wasn’t really part time but I needed the flexibility for child care and so I accepted the job.

Fast forward a year and there are a number of issues that mean I am regularly working a large amount overtime to cover not only my own workload but assisting with covering the work of team members who have left due to the toxic working environment (probably a thread in itself). I’ve had glowing feedback about my performance and I’ve been repeatedly told how valued I am. 

The entire company has now been asked to come back to the office for 3 days per week. At this point I submitted a formal flexible working request to continue WFH 2 days per week (and policy is that I would get a response in 4 weeks). My request stated that a 3 day in the office would make the position unviable for me given the level of overtime and due to extra commute etc and I don’t want to be pushed out of the workforce.

The goalpost was moved and I was told it would now be 8 weeks for a response. This was incredibly stressful. By week 7, I was invited to a meeting to discuss my proposal further and was asked the same questions I’d already covered in the proposal. My manager said if I was not physically present in the office for the extra day then they might as well outsource my role to somewhere cheap like India (I do not believe this to be true for a number of reasons) Ashamed to say I cried and at this point the meeting came to a close. 
24 hours later I still hadn’t got a response, wasn’t feeling valued at all and resigned via email. I got a call from HR and my manager the next morning to say ‘oh well of course we would have approved it but you’ve resigned now’. My replacement hire has since been put in budget for a full time position on full time salary.

I’m continuing to work overtime during my 4 month notice period because I need a reference and also due to my personal work ethic. I’m worried that this will be communicated to my team as ‘not being able to handle the pressure’ and the ‘we were always going to approve your request’ narrative is being pushed. I just feel taken advantage of, unfairly treated and want them to acknowledge this but also worried it will do more harm than good if I raise a grievance or mention constructive dismissal. 

Is this really what it’s like to be a working parent in 2023? The company often pays lip service to events like international women’s day (think Beyoncé playlist) but when it comes to initiatives that would actually help working mothers, there is very little on offer. 

If you made it this far thanks for reading. Not sure what I want from this post but mostly to vent and maybe hear others experiences and advice. 

[IfICantHaveYou]

So you want to wfh because you look after your kids at same time?

[ScienceDadOliver]

I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing in your job. It sounds like you've been dealing with a difficult situation, and your feelings of frustration and being taken advantage of are completely understandable. It's unfortunate that the company's actions don't align with the values they seem to promote.

[Bactriancamel]

No, my kids are in full time childcare but the commute/hours mean it’s only just about doable on 2 days in the office. I leave home at 6.45am to be in the office early enough to leave at 4.30pm and collect them at 6pm.

The WFH days are when I can log on early/stay late and use what would be my commute time to work overtime. Sorry if that wasn’t clear in my post.

[TooOldForASugarDaddy]

I should be taking this advice myself (I have my own thread on something like this).

People like these don’t do glowing references for people who work long hours unpaid after handing notice. They just don’t care so don’t do any overtime, use your time and energy to find another job, if you think they won’t give you a reference I am sure you can rely on previous managers to provide them. If there is a gap between this job and the next you can always say that your job pattern was changed and you handed notice after a few months because it wasn’t working for you.

[Janieforever]

I think the fact you resigned before a decision was made, puts paid to any case you may have had. It’s not constructive dismissal. There was no decision and uou jumped. There is no way for you to prove they would have said no, you should have waited for the decision then acted.

honestly you’re leaving, put it behind you.

[IsNowTheTime]

Flexible working requests should detail how the company would benefit also, as they don’t exist for your benefit. Your details just say how it would benefit you? Perhaps this was your first mistake.

TBH you sound high maintenance and it sounds like they were relieved to get your notice.

Good luck finding something that’s a better fit around your childcare.

[Theredfoxfliesatmidnight]

You sound lovely, and the way your post is written is so relatable and understandable, I can see why you would feel the situation is unfair.

However the reality of it is that the business requires all staff members to be in the office three days a week, and you did not wish to do that. They even extended the response period, they will argue, to see if there was anything they could do for you. The "outsource to India" was a cheap shot and a harsh comment, but the reality is that for a WFH position, outsourcing to somewhere cheaper if someone isn't in the office anyway is something to be considered. You then resigned before a decision had been made and yes they can now argue they would have agreed your request. So sadly I don't think you are in a position to raise any kind of grievance.

I would put your personal work ethic to one side though and cease to do any overtime while you're working your notice! Screw them. They've replaced you with a full-timer thereby acknowledging it's too much work for a part time role. So do your part time role and go home. 4 months notice is loads as well, is there any way you can reduce that down? Best of luck with everything

[LindorDoubleChoc]

Well ... as you said, you flounced. So I don't think there's anything you can do retrospectively. Don't worry about what your team think. You can always broadcast that 3 days in the office just didn't work for you (the truth).

It sounds like they always wanted a full-time employee anyway and they kind of duped you in the first place. I'm sure your next job will be better and you will have this experience to remind you to be as certain as you possibly can be about what you are signing up to.

[PepperIsHere]

I'm sorry, OP, your employers are arseholes. Taking 7 weeks to respond to a request is very rude.
I'd have resigned, too.

Did you get legal advice? I think it's quite possible you have a case for constructive dismissal or similar. I filed a grievance once and I was awarded a year's salary. Highly recommend it.

All the best x

[DriftingDora]

@PepperIsHere

I'm sorry, OP, your employers are arseholes. Taking 7 weeks to respond to a request is very rude.
I'd have resigned, too.

Did you get legal advice? I think it's quite possible you have a case for constructive dismissal or similar. I filed a grievance once and I was awarded a year's salary. Highly recommend it.

All the best x

Unless you are legally qualified and know the full story, it's not possible for you to say the OP 'quite possibly has a case for constructive dismissal'. Proving constructive dismissal isn't a walk in the park.

[PepperIsHere]

@DriftingDora

Unless you are legally qualified and know the full story, it's not possible for you to say the OP 'quite possibly has a case for constructive dismissal'. Proving constructive dismissal isn't a walk in the park.

No shit Sherlock. Jeez, who pissed in your cornflakes?
If you had better comprehension skills you'd have picked up that I'm very au fait with the process that is suing for constructive dismissal. And yes, I am perfectly well qualified to suggest that the OP might have a case. So do piss off.

[DriftingDora]

@PepperIsHere

No shit Sherlock. Jeez, who pissed in your cornflakes?
If you had better comprehension skills you'd have picked up that I'm very au fait with the process that is suing for constructive dismissal. And yes, I am perfectly well qualified to suggest that the OP might have a case. So do piss off.

What an articulate, delightful person you are - you must be SO successful in your job with that attitude. Well qualified? Hmm, yeah, right....in yer dreams.🙄