Am I going to regret saying yes to fish?

[CoozudBoyuPuak]

DC is autistic, age 13 but emotional development closer to 9-10, loves animals, is frankly desperate for a dog but we have said no to that, as I am 100% certain that I would be the one being responsible for all the walks and poo pickups, and a dog is too big a commitment. We do have a cat, who is quite stand-offish and keeps herself to herself so DC doesn't get much interaction with her. I have also said no to various small pets that are likely to get eaten or at least attacked by said cat, as well as having the same outcomes as far as poo responsibility as the dog issue.

So DC keeps reducing expectations and is now working on us to say yes to a fish tank. Their bedroom is pretty small, with a high-sleeper bed with storage under it and not much room for anything else - we could either get a very small fishtank that could fit on one shelf of the bookcase, or there is a larger area as part of the under-the-bed storage which is currently the display area for Very Important Large Lego Sets and I have no idea where those would go if we put a fish tank there.

DC dragged me into Pets at Home the other day and showed me that there was a display there of tiny little fish (barely 2cm long and only 3mm or so in diameter) who were in tiny little display tanks barely 15cm x 15cm x 15cm but I don't suppose it's good for fish to spend their whole lives in such a small enclosure is it? I assume that it's OK for them to be displayed in a small tank in the shop as they would only expect to be there for a few weeks at most. Or is it really OK to have small fish in a tiny little tank that could fit on the shelf of a book case?

I need to get a better grip on the amount of ongoing care and maintenance, cleaning, water-changing etc that keeping the fish happy and healthy will require, and work out whether that work will be within the capacity of my DC or whether they will find it actually too overwhelming and muggins here will end up doing it.

Any thoughts?

[GiltEdges]

Fish can be a lot of work to care for properly. Have you considered rodents? Rats and gerbils make nice, low maintenance pets.

[VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji]

to be honest I would go with guinea pigs or rats, likely to be a bit too big for the cat to be interested and a decent cage will solve that. Engaging enough, rats certainly are really intelligent and great fun. If you look at c and c cages with fleece liners for guinea pigs they aren’t expensive either. Fish are great, I’ve kept all sorts all my life. But they are not a furry interactive friend. Some puffer fish you can train and play football with, but they are an exception.


however back to your fish question. Go tropical not goldfish, they need less maintenance. Somewhere like Maidenhead aquatics tend to give better advice than pets at home. Small tanks mean your choice of fish is really limited and actually, a little more tricky to keep as it should be an entire eco system so something on the bottom clearing up (E.g shrimp) perhaps a few corydoras at the bottom (they do like to watch people and tv) something in the middle and something in the top and lots of fish are community fish. Which all becomes tricky in a small tank.
location is important as well, too much light and algae will grow too dark and you will need a light.
the small all in one tanks tend to have woeful filtration so your better off buying separates.
once your set up, it’s fairly ok. Weekly water changes and food job done. But getting the balance is the tricky bit.


i love my fish. But they are no furry friend substitute.

[Chypre]

Smaller tanks are harder to keep in balance, the bigger the tank the more forgiving it is + tiny fish in pet store is baby fish that can grow 10x bigger in matter of weeks depending on species. In your case would suggest reading up a bit about Glo-fish. Although I do not support this sort of artificial selection, those fish are literally “designed” and bred in bright glowing colors for kids to enjoy and hardy enough not to die from wrong water PH etc.

[bunnygeek]

Fish can be fabulous animals to keep, and I have gone in deep on hyper focus with them so can understand your DC's fascination!

There are hundreds of species, with a huge range of needs. Probably the best option for "easy" without an enormous tank is a single male Betta fish. They would be happy in a minimum of 30-50 litres, they like live plants (plastic plants and decor can tear their fins) and a soft filter flow. There are short-finned Bettas (closer to wild type) which can cope with a bit more current but they don't like being blown around.

Bettas are fabulous as they are colourful and very interactive with their owners - they will come over to the tank to look out at you, I had ones that would jump out the water by a cm or two to grab a snack - but that does also mean they can jump out of tanks, a solid lid with no holes is a must. I did have to peel one off a wall once when they found a hole in the back of a tank - fish survived!

Bettas can live 2-5 years or so, there are some fish (like Goldfish) that can outlive dogs or cats! None of the fish in my current big tank (a custom made 200 litre) are under 6 years old, I have a few that are 10 years plus.

There's TONS of good information on the web about keeping Bettas, including tank size and how to do the nitrogen cycle (fishless cycling). If your DC's focus is on fish, they are great for teaching compassion and a bit of science along the way, I learnt more about chemistry keeping fish than I ever did at school!

[bunnygeek]

I would also add that a bedroom is a terrible place for a fish tank. When I first started keeping fish in a shared flat at one point I had 6 tanks on the go I think, there were many frustrating sleepless nights because of the buzzing, bubbling and general water noises. Filters MUST be on 24/7. If your DC is sensitive to noise, not ideal!

Fish are much better kept elsewhere in the house, on something solid, level and stable, so they can't get knocked. High traffic spots can be trouble as they will be able to feel every footstep. They can't be near direct sunlight either, as that can cause tanks to overheat and go green with algae.

[SoftSheen]

Don't get fish unless you can find room for a much bigger tank, and be prepared for the work involved in looking after them, which is more than you might expect. Goldfish in particular make a lot of mess and need plenty of room.

Guinea-pigs need even more room and even more cleaning/maintenance, so not recommended if you want something low effort (though they are lovely).

Pp's suggestion of gerbils is a good idea. When tamed, they can be quite friendly and engaging but being small, don't need quite as much space and are generally lower maintenance (and cost) than guinea pigs.

[sashagabadon]

Yes they are a lot of work and die!

[SusiePevensie]

Hmm. Might a second cat be an option instead?

[bunnygeek]

@sashagabadon

Yes they are a lot of work and die!

All pets will die ;) fish don't just drop dead for the fun of it, the most common reason is poor water quality and poor maintenance. Some of my fish are 10-12 years old now.

[redbrow]

Much more maintenance than you might anticipate.
My son enjoyed them, and all the science stuff behind the tank environment, but as others have said a bigger tank is slightly more forgiving, but is more of a job changing the water.
Filters etc are a bit noisy if you like silence too.

[ApocalypseNowt]

Get some giant African land snails. Lowest maintenance pet ever. They're cheap (to buy and feed), they make no noise and don't smell. They're also strangely fascinating to watch - I find them very zen!

[justprance]

@ApocalypseNowt

Get some giant African land snails. Lowest maintenance pet ever. They're cheap (to buy and feed), they make no noise and don't smell. They're also strangely fascinating to watch - I find them very zen!

But they lay soooo many eggs! And you do have to be careful about making sure the eggs don't make their way outside.

As PP said, a small tank isn't an easy option. You can find lots of free tanks online.

You can only give it a whirl, I suppose. At least fish can be fed with a block whilst you are in holiday.

I do love my aquarium.

[8DPWoah]

I was thinking more that the noise and light from a tank might be a sensory problem but you know your DC as to what things are tolerable and what wouldn't be, but I'd definitely try and visit someone/someone with a normal domestic tank set up to see if the noise etc is ok.

A lower tech and smaller option would be a planted shrimp tank? Or along the same lines but with less background noise, have you considered fruit beetles or similar as well? There's some really cool, and fairly straightforward, inverts out there.

[GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut]

Fish are really hard to keep well, and can live a surprisingly long time. I have goldfish that must be 20 odd years old, we're their 3rd owners and have had them for 15 yrs.

I find tanks can make rooms smell damp, and if you don't keep them absolutely tip top they just flat out smell. I wouldn't want one in a bedroom.

[Saucemonkey]

We have fish. You have to clean the tank, clean the stones and replenish the water - it’s not something a child can do.
they are also not engaging at all, and he will be bored within an hour.
don’t commit to pets that you don’t want to care for , because frankly anything u get your son will lose interest in quickly and you’ll be left to deal with them.

[CoozudBoyuPuak]

@8DPWoah I was thinking more that the noise and light from a tank might be a sensory problem but you know your DC as to what things are tolerable and what wouldn't be, but I'd definitely try and visit someone/someone with a normal domestic tank set up to see if the noise etc is ok.

tbh I thought this would happen too so I got a recording of bubbly tank noise to play in DC's room overnight expecting that the sensory effect would change DC's mind - but they love it and find it really relaxing and helpful for sleep.

A shrimp tank or other invertebrates might work. Will investigate.