9 year old harassed.

Ofcourseshecan · 17/05/2023 15:28

God, how depressing. I hope you can make the school staff understand how much this matters. To at least explain to the boy that this is unacceptable behaviour. This is upsetting for you both, and I send sympathy and solidarity.

Original poster

Fifi00 · 18/05/2023 00:32

Basically the school have said no case to answer on either side!! Wtf she doesn't have a side she raised her concerns now she thinks the school think she's a liar. The mother contacted me and accused my daughter of lying and boys will be boys. I'm going to pull her out of the school as the boys seem to be hypersexualised.

OP posts:

BodegaSushi · 18/05/2023 01:00

What happened to your post yesterday, was it zapped? I was shocked at the comments

slamfightbrightlight · 18/05/2023 01:16

Some things to throw back at them OP

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges

”In addition, in about a quarter of schools, sexual harassment such as inappropriate sexualised language was not always addressed and identified early enough. In other instances where school leaders were aware of the problem, there was a limited and ineffective response to support children with this issue”

And part 5 of this

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1101454/Keeping_children_safe_in_education_2022.pdf#page104

Review of sexual abuse in schools and colleges

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges

Coyoacan · 18/05/2023 01:22

What an appalling school that won't protect your dd

Fraaahnces · 18/05/2023 01:22

I’d take her to the police to discuss this and that way she’d know that you take her seriously. Poor kid.

PronounsBaby · 18/05/2023 01:38

If the mother of the boy said 'boys will be boys' the on some level she does believe her son has said this to your daughter.

It is unacceptable that the school have not taken it seriously.

Are you sure taking your daughter out is the best reaction though? There must be many many plus points to school, this aside.

As we all know, the world is hypersexualisd and it's very difficult to escape. What will you do the next time something like this happens? It sadly will and even more sadly women and girls (I think) have to find coping mechanisms to be able to take part in life without these dicks pushing them away with their stupid comments.

Can't you push the school more? Speak to governors/others about the wider school values around respect and harassment?

Original poster

Fifi00 · 18/05/2023 01:40

Everything I've taught her seems to be useless, I'm so proud of her for speaking up, i believe her. The little shit said he only said move or ill push you over so threatening violence. He's shown her picture of penises and talks about arses then asks to touch her bum. Society is full of enablers , I don't think I can safely keep her at the school.

She's 9 years old ffs at least give her a few years before the victim blaming and harassment starts. It's utterly disgusting. The mother also rang me directly accusing her of lying. I have no idea how she got my phone number. I'm going to ask the school as its data protection.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fifi00 · 18/05/2023 01:44

PronounsBaby · 18/05/2023 01:38

If the mother of the boy said 'boys will be boys' the on some level she does believe her son has said this to your daughter.

It is unacceptable that the school have not taken it seriously.

Are you sure taking your daughter out is the best reaction though? There must be many many plus points to school, this aside.

As we all know, the world is hypersexualisd and it's very difficult to escape. What will you do the next time something like this happens? It sadly will and even more sadly women and girls (I think) have to find coping mechanisms to be able to take part in life without these dicks pushing them away with their stupid comments.

Can't you push the school more? Speak to governors/others about the wider school values around respect and harassment?

Sorry no I was only keeping her in the school for the friendships, I pay extra tuition, paid for a dyslexia assessment. The education offered is shoddy. She then had major facial swelling caused by allergic reaction they never contacted me just a wet paper towel. My DD was telling me the boys talk about their penises all the time they seem obsessed by them.

It's just weird and no my daughter should not be putting up with harassment on top.

OP posts:

SammyScrounge · 18/05/2023 23:32

We are all agreed that this needs firmer action from the school. There should also be an investigation of what is going on in the boy's life. Where is he getting the pictures from? Where has he learned his sexualised behaviour?
If the HT isn't taking this seriously, then take it outside the school - to the police 9 to the LEA.
And what is to be done with the nasty little boy? Letting him carry on.his life as usual is not an option.

Badgeringabout · 29/05/2023 09:29

Get her out of there OP.

Ofcourseshecan · 01/06/2023 09:08

The school is also ignoring the possibility that the boy is being sexually abused at home, which can lead to inappropriate behaviour. So many fails by the school leadership.

Manderleyagain · 02/06/2023 09:19

This might not be helpful but my daughter had a similar thing happen when she was in year 5, and the school were excellent. It was one boy not a general problem with boys afaik. My daughter wrote down things he'd said and when. I went in with my daughter, the teacher took it seriously, took a copy of her notes. She must have then shown the head teacher. They spoke to the boy & it stopped. The head teacher also told my daughter she'd done the right thing.

So your school are being completely irresponsible and failing your daughter and the boy by not dealing with this properly.

You should keep a record of what he has said/done and you should escalate this. I don,'t know how you do that but it must be possible. If he's showing her pics of penises then there will be proof.

Is there an other school with places?

YouJustDoYou · 02/06/2023 09:26

Fifi00 · 17/05/2023 11:46

I can't believe I'm writing this my daughter , has had a child asking to touch her bottom at school and made gestures about her breasts. She's 9 years old. She's already covering up in baggy clothes. I told the school and they don't seem to give a shit just got the notebook out and said they will investigate and will ask the boys point of view. My daughter would not lie about a boy asking to touch her.

I'm disgusted at 9 shes having to police herself and put up with this questioning already. Fucking sick of porn addled men and boys it starts too young it needs to be opt in only.

It's vile how young our girls are when sexual harrasment starts. My 8year old got her arse slapped in class by a boy from a family who's youngest son happens to be the class with my youngest dd, when she was 6 he tried to put his hand down her fucking pants, touched her below her belly button etc, another boy in the same class would always try to kiss her, lick her face, kept calling her sweet cheeks, it was disgusting. Then the other day another incident happened with my 8 year old and I got summoned into the heads office to be told essentially they thought she was lying about another boy trying to look up her skirt and that I need to teach her "not to cry wolf" because "they asked his friends what happened and they said nothing, and the boy himself said nothing happened" so she must be lying. She's a very literal kid, she's never been one to lie or exaggerate and she was so upset by this boy so I fully suspect he did try something. The school doesn't give a shit.