I have no concrete proof for this. I will write down the context and hopefully get some clarity.
I met Sara in a work event, she is a volunteer. She is a musician, quite gifted as I understand. I wanted to learn the piano for years so I asked her on the spot if she does any tutoring and accepted. I asked for her contact information to set it up and she said that I should contact her in the charity she volunteers in. To this day, she hasn't given me any contact information - no emails, no phone, no address.
She has a glorious sense of humour and seems taken-aback when I acknowledge it or any other attributes she has. On the day of our meeting she told me a story, cut herself short and apologised for boring me, saying "I am told I bore people sometimes, sorry" which was just... weird. When I told her that whoever said this is wrong and she should finish her story she was surprised.
We have just finished our tenth lesson and I have noticed that she was not healthy. She appears quite meek and soft-spoken. Again, it doesn't look like she is a naturally shy person. Just scared. Other times it is like her true self comes to life and she is not like that at all.
On our previous lesson she got absolutely terrified when her phone rang. She refused to pick it up when I told her to feel free to do so.
She asked to get paid in cash. I asked her rather conversationally if she has a bank account and she said she doesn't because she "doesn't like banks". Which was strange, but stranger even she was obviously lying.
I asked her if she lives with flatmates or friends - she told me she lives with her girlfriend. She didn't elaborate as she usually does when we have a chat - she completely closed off and changed the subject.
Today, she showed up even thinner, even more tired with black circles under her eyes. She was late and was so distressed that I tried to get her to open up with tea and biscuits and asked her how is everything at home and said "yeah, fine, sure" paused and added "I mean all relationships have problems I guess" It didn't seem right at the time to ask her what she means by problems, but I did tell her that if someone is not feeling safe in a relationship or valued, this is not a "usual" problem. She promptly asked me to start our lesson and she feels much better, thank you very much.
For context, I have been a soldier in the British Army for a few decades - I know what fear looks like and this woman looks terrified at times. On the other hand, I think that I may be overthinking this and my judgment is clouded because I have witnessed some distressing scenes.
Can I ask whoever is reading this - is there a way to help her open up? Are my concerns valid? I am thinking I should offer her a payrise, in case she is hiding this money from her spouse - but I don't know what else to do.
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Feminism: chat
I believe my employee is abused
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AlexDons · 06/03/2023 21:23
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