Period Pains need to be a legitimate reason for absence in schools

[3beesinmybonnet]

A father of 3 daughters has started a petition to make period pain a legitimate reason for absence from school, after he was told his daughter's absence for period pains would be marked as unauthorised.
I'm the wrong side of 60, I have no daughters or granddaughters, so I know very little of what goes on in schools nowadays other than what I learn from Mumsnet, but I well remember the pain, vomiting, and diarrhoea I suffered every month along with the humiliation resulting from heavy blood loss from age 11 to late teens when I was put on the pill, which sorted it out. Before that it was just paracetamol, and occasionally I was sent to lie down with a hot water bottle. I think I probably had the odd day off with it (my mother was sympathetic having suffered the same herself) but it was generally seen as just part of being a woman and you should just get on with it. It seems not much has changed.
I've started this thread here because it took me a while to find the petitions board, you have to actively search for it, and its obvious many threads on there never get seen.

www.change.org/p/educationgovuk-period-pains-dysmenorrhea-need-to-be-a-legitimate-reason-for-absence-in-schools

[ErrolTheDragon]

@Nomoreusernames1244

If periods are that debilitating it should be the medical profession we are petitioning to get of their arses and find ways to fix it rather than writing it off as part of being female.

Women taking 2-3 days off every month is going to severely impact learning, and later on effectiveness at work and the gender pay gap will grow as employers refuse to promote those who need time off regularly.

It is the medical profession who can change this, not teachers or employers

It's not an either/or.

Yes, there should be safe, effective solutions available for all girls who need it.

But until that exists, of course absences should be authorised for those girls who suffer debilitating periods.
I used to spend a day or two each period at home in pain, sometimes with vomiting - there would have been no point being in school (other than being even more uncomfortable, embarrassed and humiliated). There's no 'if' about periods being that debilitating.

[LoveFall]

When I was a teen I had horrible cramping and heavy flow. I am showing my age, but it was also in the days when you had to wear a special belt that the sanitary pad hooked on to front and back. Tampons weren't an option.

I really was miserable and I did get sent home a few times. My Mom, bless her, would put me on the couch with a blanket and make me a drink she called "hot gin." It was a bit of gin, sugar, and boiling water. Apparently her Mother had given her the same thing. Not lushes, I promise. It did help a bit. The only other thing was aspirin and a hot water bottle.

I agree that girls should be able to stay home with period pain. I understand the issues with productivity in work, but I believe many women find the pain reduces as they get older, or they can tolerate it better.

I also agree the medical profession needs to find solutions. If men had pain like that every28 days, something would indeed be done.

[NumberTheory]

I think my issue with this is that the petition isn't about "debilitating periods". It's simply that "period pain" should be an accepted reason.

Vomiting, diarrhea, severe cramping - these are all symptoms that are acceptable for staying off most school's (vomiting and diarrhea have been named as reasons to keep your kids home in every school policy I've seen for the last 12 years).

But period pain for the majority of women the majority of the time is generally mild and easily worked around. I don't think it's good for us to see that as debilitating or promote it as such. A blanket policy that any period pain is reason enough to stay of school encourages society to see us as debilitated when we aren't.

[NeverDropYourMoonCup]

@00100001

Why can't it be recorded as sickness absence?

No idea. We record them as sickness absence.


maybe he's just Not Like The Other Men

[Palavah]

@hellothere007

agree that in the main periods are not supposed to be so debilitating so always worth an investigation and experimenting with diet to reduce menstrual side-effects.

Oh dear *@Palavah*

Maybe you should spend less time on MN and more time educating yourself?

Care to elaborate?

[mondayschild21]

Good exercise should be for everyone, nothing related to period pain or any other debilitating condition. Inability to be at school through pain should be an authorised absence.

[MilduraS]

Given the length of time it takes to get a diagnosis and treatment for endometriosis I'd say it needs to be an accepted reason. My poor best friend used to suffer horrifically when we were at school and wasn't diagnosed until she was 26.

[NumberTheory]

@MilduraS

Given the length of time it takes to get a diagnosis and treatment for endometriosis I'd say it needs to be an accepted reason. My poor best friend used to suffer horrifically when we were at school and wasn't diagnosed until she was 26.

I don't really see what the length of time for a diagnosis for endometriosis has to do with a school wanting more than someone saying "My daughter has period pain" to mark non attendance as sickness rather than unauthorised.

[AreYouCursed]

@NumberTheory, what more should schools be wanting? What evidence can these girls provide? Do you take that line with other medical conditions, or do you take the line that the parent is the best judge of whether the girls are unfit for school?

There are an awful lot of teenagers with endometriosis that doesn't get diagnosed until much later. The medical profession needs to get their act together on this one, I'm afraid, because it does impact on schooling.

[NeverDropYourMooncup]

Oh, for Heaven's sake.

He's got his drawers in a twist because he refused to tell the school why his kid was absent, so they obviously told him that it would be marked as unauthorised absence without a reason.

Not because they said period pain wasn't a good reason for illness. Because he refused to tell them why she was off.

'I needed to contact our school's administration team to report an absence due to a medical condition. The message was brief with no real personal details given.'

'schools should not be requiring such information either, they are not medical professionals, nor would they fully understand the full extent or severity of any condition through a phone call'


He also demonstrates his superior knowledge of female biology in a particularly patronising manner - 'I'm sure anyone who has had a period would agree, that at some stage, they have suffered significantly from Dysmenorrhoea, yes there is actually a medical term for ‘period pains’.' - and takes lengths to state that this is transphobic as well as pitting marginalised groups against males.


It all shrieks of 'I'm a Feminist, me, I'm not like the other Men' - especially as if it is so embarrassing for his teenaged daughter that he couldn't possibly be expected to disclose to the Attendance officer that she's got period pains, how then is it respecting of a wish to avoid subjecting her to what he describes as 'highly intrusive' and 'morally and legally questionable' to then advertise online that she was doubled up with cramps to thousands of strangers, complete with a photo of her?

[MilduraS]

@NumberTheory My point was that for years she was treated like she was being dramatic about her period pain. It turned out to be endometriosis. She had retrograde periods that meant when she was on her period the blood flowed up into her Fallopian tubes (you know those things that are the width of a hair). She was in an enormous amount of pain that made it difficult to function so to be told it's an unauthorised absence is unacceptable. Due to delays in referrals and diagnosis a teenager is far less likely to have a diagnosis than an adult. Most of them will spend years begging to be taken seriously.

[ThirdElephant]

If men had such debilitating periods they'd have found a solution by now.

[Nomoreusernames1244]

you know those things that are the width of a hair

Fallopian tubes are 0.5-1cm wide? So no where near the width of a hair.

Definitely if men suffered there’d be medical solutions by now.

[nordicnorth]

As a teenager I was very fit, healthy, slim & athletic but I had debilitating periods. I was in tremendous pain, fainting episodes, migraine, brain fog, very heavy flow and often flooding & soaking through pads very quickly. There is nothing wrong with me gynae wise, that was just my normal. I went on the pill at 18 which calmed things down for the most part.

I'd like to know what miracle diet change suggestions a PP would like to tell 11/12/13/13/15/16 year old me would stop this?

[MilduraS]

Ok not quite the width of a hair but it seems to depend on where you Google:

The Fallopian tube is approximately 10-12 cm long and 1-4 mm in diameter.
radiopaedia.org/articles/fallopian-tube-1?lang=gb

Must admit I took the width of a hair fact from a sexual health class many moons ago when we were warned about the risk of infertility from chlamydia and pelvic inflammatory disease.

Either way it would still be excruciating to be menstruating into your Fallopian tube. It wasn't just period pain but without an official diagnosis, by the schools standards, they could deem her absence unauthorised and fine her parents? I stand by my statement that it's unacceptable.

[AreYouCursed]

Mildura, sorry to be pedantic, but can I just point out that retrograde menstruation as the cause of endometriosis is a hypothesis, and a flawed one at that? There are other competing hypotheses and some experts aren't so keen on the retrograde menstruation one. It may be the cause or one cause of several, but we don't know this yet.

[MilduraS]

Not suggesting it was the cause, more of a symptom. She had one Fallopian tube removed due to damage. Within months of diagnosis she had to have surgery because she had tissue growing into her bladder and Fallopian tubes. Funnily enough her female GP had been dismissive for years and told her period pain was normal. It was only when she saw a male locum that a referral to hospital was made.

[AreYouCursed]

Are you sure that's what she's been told? I'm not aware retrograde menstruation is normally a symptom of endometriosis. It's something that's often touted as the cause, though, and some doctors will use it in an attempt to explain to patients why they have the disease, but it's a bit of an oversimplification.

[Palavah]

@nordicnorth

As a teenager I was very fit, healthy, slim & athletic but I had debilitating periods. I was in tremendous pain, fainting episodes, migraine, brain fog, very heavy flow and often flooding & soaking through pads very quickly. There is nothing wrong with me gynae wise, that was just my normal. I went on the pill at 18 which calmed things down for the most part.

I'd like to know what miracle diet change suggestions a PP would like to tell 11/12/13/13/15/16 year old me would stop this?

I wasn't (and I hope noone else was) suggesting that adjustments to diet and exercise are sufficient substitutes for proper medical intervention in the case of e.g. endometriosis. In that scenario proper investigation and appropriate treatment is required as we shouldn't have to just accept menstrual pain/side effects that make us miss school or work.

That's different from 'ordinary' period pain which can often be mitigated through tweaks to diet and activity in the run up to a period with dramatic results.

[MilduraS]

No, not sure of everything. It was all second hand from her after her visits to the hospital and eventual surgery. Just googled and the nhs seem to suggest it's an accepted theory on cause rather than a symptom. Not sure why you're arguing so heavily against a condition that is already under investigated. What is definitely not in doubt is that she had tissue growing through her tubes and bladder, it was removed during surgery.
Definitely agree with a pp that if it happened to men, responses would be a lot more proactive. Instead it's just considered a woman thing, no more than period pain, and something women should put up with. Now we have schools calling period pain unauthorised absence.

[Amdone123]

So glad for this thread. I'm 54 now but from the age 16 - 19, my period pains were just like a pp described. I would vomit, be in so much pain yet made to feel like a freak because I wanted to go home from college. They weren't regular til I went on the pill so I never knew when to expect them. I remember having to beg the head of 6th form to send me home. Awful. Then a 60 minute bus journey vomiting into a carrier bag.

[AreYouCursed]

I'm not 'arguing so heavily against a condition that's already under investigated' - I have the condition myself, extremely severely. I'm a strong advocate of accurate information on it for that reason, and I see a lot of misinformation floating around. Some of it does harm. This theory arguably has done harm, although it's still a widely disseminated theory. It was partially responsible, for example, for the vogue for giving women full hysterectomies in a belief that this would prove a cure. I think it's still a factor in the upsurge I'm seeing in young patients who seem to think a hysterectomy would cure them, and won't hear anything different.

I didn't mean to give offence, and I certainly don't doubt that she had the disease badly, but I am against misinformation, and reputable sites discussing this theory do acknowledge the problems it poses and the fact that there are alternative models.

I'm very much in favour of rigorous and in-depth research on the topic, and I'm not sure why anyone would assume I'm not.

[tiddlysquat]

My dd has a day off school each month and I tell them them why and never had an issue. I'd go apeshit if there was- it never occurred to me!

Trying mefanamic acid next month but if she needs a day off I'll let her .

One of the reasons is that they won't send her home if she's in pain, so if she feels it's bad she stays at home in case . I've offered to drive up and get her / insist but she's worried about being told off for calling me . So some months she stays at home for a day and might not have needed too.

I can't believe a school would not accept this as a reason- awful!

[MilduraS]

Fair enough, I didn't realise you were a sufferer. I interpreted it as a dig at the link between "period pain" in teenagers and the lack of diagnosis for teenagers genuinely suffering. I feel very strongly about it. I was lucky enough to be diagnosed with unpainful PCOS when I was 16 while someone in pain was left to languish for another 10 years. In my opinion, unless schools are going to contribute to the push for better care they can eff off with their judgment of what is and isn't an acceptable medical issue.

[tiddlysquat]

I also have had to take time off work many months although thankfully after a d&c I now have zero pain after almost passing out in March.
Ive always told my (male) boss why.