So worried and overwhelmed - lots of things

[Strawberry06]

I'm about to give birth any day now (39+3) to what will be our first and only son.

The other night husband told me he's been to see a doctor and been referred for ADHD. It didn't come as a complete surprise to me as some of his behaviours are in line with the symptoms. On the whole he copes well with it but obviously I am worried for our son as these things are often inherited?

He also suffers from psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis for which he takes methotrexate for. Women absolutely can't take it if ttc/pregnant but there's not enough research on men. Some say to come off it 6 months prior, others say fine to continue if low dose which his is. But it's in the back of my mind there'll be consequences from him being on it.

I also have Rh incompatibility as my blood group is B- and baby is predicted to be Rh+ so can only assume husband is Rh+. I'm worried that this could cause problems as well even though I've had the Anti D injection.

And I have Strep B so I'll need antibiotics when I go into labour. Again I'm worried it will get passed on to baby.

And finally I've had the most wonderful and easy pregnancy physically that I feel like I'm in for an extremely difficult birth/baby. I know that's just something people say but I feel it will be true for me!

Im just feeling like we have so much against us that it might have been a mistake having a baby and I feel absolutely awful for saying that cause I try to put these things out my head and just feel excited to meet him. I know we will love him whatever. I just don't know if I should feel genuinely worried or whether it's just hormones? I am quite an anxious person. I don't feel like I can or should speak to anyone about it.

People around us are always saying things like 'oh it's such a wonderful thing' and in my head im playing it down like it won't be wonderful for us cause of one or all of these issues.

If you've got this far thank you for reading and any advice is welcome.

[Unbeknownsty]

One thing I read that made a huge difference to my mindset was not to "borrow" worry unnecessarily - undoubtedly this is a huge change and of course you'll have worries but it sounds like you're on top of everything as much as you can be. Remind yourself that you can handle anything.

Best of luck :)

[SisterMichaelsHabit]

There was a bit of a moment in my first pregnancy where I was worrying about something massive that I had no control over and I realised this is it. This is parenting. You never stop worrying about your baby or feeling responsible for them and that won't change when they're forty, the type of thing you worry about will change but not the fact you're worrying. It's a good sign because it means you are bonding with your baby.

I think you just have to find ways to manage the worries and rationalise away the ones that aren't things worth worrying about. The methotrexate, for example. Your DH was on it when you conceived and there's nothing you can do to change that. It might work out fine. No point worrying unless something happens later down the line.

However, if you feel like you're not okay in and of yourself and you can't talk yourself down, reach out to your midwife and see if you can get referred to mental health. There are specialist supports available during pregnancy and the antenatal period which means it is the easiest time in your life to access MH support.

[Janetime]

Sweetie, being a parent is a lifetime of worry. But also of love and joy. You just need to learn to manage the worry. not stress about the unknown. There is every overwhelming chance your child will be happy and healthy , there is really nothing to be causing you anxiety here.

be excited, your gorgeous son will be here to meet you properly soon.

[maslinpan]

You are allowed to speak to someone with your concerns, try and see it as a
it's a kindness to yourself.. Whether it's your midwife, a friend/relative who is calm and sensible, it's much better to share what you are worrying about. Just saying aloud what you are worrying about can take away some of the pressure. You will be amazed how resilient you are!