Approach to piano lessons for 5 year old

[user1471523870]

I am looking for someone who had a similar experience.
My son is 5 (almost 6). He's been having weekly piano lessons for few months now, after the teacher confirmed he was keen and ready. He seemed very enthusiastic at first and he quickly learned the first few musical notes. We bought him a cheap-ish keyboard that he uses for daily practice at home and all was well.
But now that everything is getting more complex (playing with both hands, coordinating the fingers, understanding note length) he's struggling with focus and motivation. I see he struggles to understand the instructions and at home he doesn't want to practice anymore (unless I bribe him or I invent a game or he's in a good mood).
I know 5 is young and this is very normal. But what do I do?

First instinct is to stop everything and wait for him to be older, BUT:

• I hate to pass the message that you stop at the first hurdle
• We have invested time and money into this activity and it looks like a real pity giving up before even having learned the full set of very basic skills
• It's an activity that I picked to increase his ability to focus and concentrate, and teach him discipline. It's basically the only non-sport based activity he does!

What can I do to keep this going, at least until the summer? Should I ask the teacher to slow down and go over the bits he doesn't understand again and again? Should I go for bi-weekly sessions to keep it lighter? Any other strategy?

[ProfessorPeppy]

He’s honestly too young. Letting him give up isn’t sending him a message that he can give up - treat it as a pause and he can pick it up again later on.

My piano teacher back in the ‘80s wasn’t keen to take me on at 6 years old, even though I was already Grade 3 recorder. I waited a year and eventually got to diploma standard.

[citrinetrilogy]

It takes time to develop the physical co-ordination to use both hands and do two different things at once. With piano, there is also the issue of a young child's hands possibly being either too small or their fingers not strong enough to be able to do what they are being asked to do.

Could you ask the teacher what they think the best option would be.

[MamaWillYouBuyMeAWillYouBuyMeABanana]

There are games you can play that will help with hand strength, have a look on YouTube.

Also if he is struggling with motivation, as my dd does sometimes, you can play a game together like "what colour/animal/weather am I playing" and take turns to play various types of whatever subject and guess.

Another good game is to play words, so make 3 or 4 letter words from ABCDEFG and play those and guess what it is.

Try and make it fun rather than a chore, he's still really little yet.

[caringcarer]

I'd ask the teacher to go more slowly with him. Go over it more times. It will over time become muscle memory. My DD started piano at 5 and her teacher took it very slowly with her to keep her confidence. She used to play some pieces over and over again. I agree giving up at first sign of problem is not good for DC. We used to say to DD this is quite a difficult piece I bet you'll find it hard to learn. She was always very determined to prove she could do it. She started learning at the same time as an 8 year old little girl who had her lesson immediately before DD. She came home really excited a few times because she had heard the end of the other girl's lesson and she was making several mistakes. She told me she played it without making any mistakes and her teacher was very pleased with her because she said she knew she had been practicing. Chess and karate are also good for concentration.

[horseymum]

Five is quite young for piano unless really motivated. They start quickly as it's no effort to make a note but can get harder quickly. Mine started at 7/8 and it's not held them back. Unless the teacher loves taking wee ones, you might find having a pause or going much more slowly would work. No money on music is wasted, he will already have learnt so much. You could try drums or recorder if there's a teacher. Or go to a concert or watch videos online to see if there's a more sociable instrument he might like - you can get lightweight plastic trombones, trumpets, clarinets etc. A single line of music might be easier to focus on and you can join a band or orchestra often from quite early stages. What's popular near you? Brass bands are often great at teaching youngsters.

[Couchpotato3]

I've seen this happen at all ages - piano is easy enough to start, but as things get more complex many children lose interest and give up. It's that much more difficult when you have tiny hands and shaky coordination and hand independence. I'd pivot to a different instrument and let him try something else - agree that brass instruments are good - you can even get plastic versions for children that are lightweight and come in bright fun colours, and brass bands often have training bands for children, so there is a social element. Piano can be a lonely instrument as there are almost no opportunities to play with others until you are reasonably advanced. Forcing him to continue with piano will likely end in frustration and stalemate - don't do it!

[user1471523870]

Thanks all for the very good suggestions and for mostly supporting my very vague plan of keep going!
I think I will ask the teacher to slow down, and add some games in the mix. I like the idea of guessing a word. The teacher also uses other instruments, so maybe we can add some variety. I don't have a specific goal in mind other than exposing him to music and gradually build up a skill that can be properly developed when he's older.

[shufflestep]

Hi OP, I'm a piano teacher of 30 years, and I no longer start children before year 2 at the earliest. Before that I just find the dropout rate is too high, leaving too many convinced that they weren't really musical. Although it's possible to start earlier, it's much harder to keep the motivation up as progress is much slower, and the children who really progress that young often have very musical parents who will sit and practice with them daily. Reading two lines of music simultaneously is much harder than one (and of course the clefs for each hand are different) in addition to the coordination required from both hands.

I would recommend taking a break, then going back with a new tutor book in a year to eighteen months (then he can go over all the early bits again but with new material to look at). That will refresh and reinforce all that he's learnt so far and he should be off to a flying start. I've done this with numerous children who've come to me after their early teacher and it generally works really well. One of them is hoping for grade 8 distinction next term at sixteen.

[Bunnycat101]

My eldest started at 5 and in hindsight it was too young. I wouldn’t start my youngest until at least 6. But, she start to fly after 2 terms once we got into more of a practice routine and she had turned 6. Little and often worked at her age- we tried to do 5 minutes every day before bath. When they are still so small everything is an effort, sight reading is a challenge and piano does seem to get harder quite quickly. I think it really depends on why he’s not keen to practice. If you’re trying to get him to do a full on session or long period of practice it’ll be too much.

[mynameiscalypso]

I have a five year old who is very musical but I'm not going to touch lessons until he's 7 at least. I love the enthusiasm that he has now and worry that lessons too early will damage that. I agree that making it more fun, if you decide to keep going, is the best way to approach it

[polkadot24]

Agree - too young. Our teachers both said they need to be 7 at least. Have you spoken yo the teacher. Both of mine went through this and the teacher was great- let them choose music and made it more fun. We practice on set evenings and sometimes to make it fun I'll be silly, dancing in the background or try to play myself, getting them to teach me

[thirdfiddle]

Agree talking to teacher is a good first step. I'd be quite open ended, tell her what your concern is and see what she thinks. As pp have said it might be worth doing another beginner book to consolidate first steps a bit more. I think DD aged 5 did four different beginner books in her first term. Then second term she took the Initial grade exam, so lots of consolidation didn't slow her down any.

But also as the pieces get more complicated, you need to pick them apart more to learn them. So e.g. he might start by clapping the rhythm. Then go through pointing to and naming the notes. Then play a little section at a time, several times over till he's comfortable with it. If it's hands together he can learn one hand at a time first.

How much practice are you aiming for? And do you help? At this stage 5 minutes a day with a parent sitting next to him helping would be great.

I'd certainly have a go at what you can do to keep it fun before stopping completely. It may just be a case of adjusting expectations - teacher's, yours or his!

[user1471523870]

Thanks for all the suggestions.

As said, I don't want to stop completely, rather adjust, slow down and keep going. All the suggestions you made are absolutely great and give me a bit more of reassurance to be honest.
Some asked if I spoke to the teacher. When we started we had a taster session and she confirmed he was ready to start lessons (she teaches very young children and children with SEN). We agreed for the first sessions to be just a gentle intro to music and piano, again to assess his readiness. She then confirmed again that he was ready and she was happy to teach him. We had a little break and we started 'officially', following a book.
I am sitting in the same room for ever lesson, they are fun and there is very little pressure. The teacher gives him a song to practice at home and gives him a sticker chart. Then, at home, we practice for few minutes, together, almost every day. He loves the sense of achievement when he can put a sticker on the chart.

He's still keen on attending the lessons but I just noticed he's increasingly more distracted and even those few minutes we spend practicing at home he gets frustrated when he doesn't get the notes right.

I am never pushy and when he doesn't want to finish the song I don't make him to and just say that it's ok and we can try again another time.
Based on your suggestions I now have a revised plan:

• ask the teacher to take a step back and spend the next few lessons reviewing the notes we have learned
• repeat more of the same songs he can do well, to give him more confidence
• find some simple 'fun' songs he can learn (he loves performing in front of family members - I think Baby Shark could be one of them!)
• add games like making up our own songs or something suggested here
• revise expectations in general: I didn't have a goal in mind, but let's say if he's going to recognize 4-5 notes by the summer break that will be a success.
• take a long break in summer and start again with a new book, going back over everything he's learned already and hopefully it will all come up again

[thirdfiddle]

Sounds like you're doing everything right, little and often is the way to go. Hope he gets over the bump, it's a lovely instrument to play. My former 5 yr old starter is 12 now and still loving her piano lessons.

[Lazytiger]

5 is young and I think you should find a fun musicianship class.
It is much, much better to focus on general musicianship at this age.

My DC started musicianship at aged 2 (a 40 minute weekly lesson) then started instrumental lessons aged 6 and piano at 7. They are storming ahead of their classmates, who have already been playing for 1 or 2 years, on both instruments. So use this break to prepare the inner musician while you wait for your DC to grow physically. If it helps my DC refused to practice at 6 years old and wanted to quit but at 7 years old is a different child.

This is going to sound like a brag and it's not (although I am proud) as DC has been called 'firstname-"pitch-perfect"-surname' by a teacher at school... They haven't got perfect pitch at all but I can see when they sing in the school choir they are leading the other pupils as they just find it easy. Do this first and the instrumental playing will not only catch up but will exceed your expectations. As I say, not a brag, I just want to use it to explain the benefits of good quality musicianship classes (and choirs).

[BrondesburyBelle]

I teach this age group sometimes but more often from Y3. My ds did piano from age 5. It's pretty much all kids who hit a brick wall at this age with hands together. You need to learn each hand separately (I used to play the other hand with my ds on my lap while he did one hand at a time) and go slowly. You may need a teacher who is more used to working with little ones. It's not too young to learn but it does require a different approach to teaching older kids. Teachers with dalcroze, Suzuki or kodaly training are usually fab with little ones

[BrondesburyBelle]

Sorry just seen your teacher does teach very young children. It should be fine then. I agree with you don't give up, lots of good advice on here