Why so keen to get DCs into extra curricular activities?

[sweetmuffins]

This is a post for exactly what the title says.

I'd like to see what other MNers' reasons are/were for introducing their DCs into various activities. Just curious.

Thanks

[Permanentlyexhausted]

The only thing I made them do when they were slightly reluctant was swimming (because it is a life skill). Everything else is stuff they want to do although I usually suggest it first since they don't always know what's available.

[Permanentlyexhausted]

And I agree with Debs above - it's about giving them the widest range of experiences possible so their options aren't limited as they grow up. DD loves music and shows reasonable talent so she does choir, piano, and violin.

[butterfly2015]

Both mine go to sea cadets which they love. Oldest also goes to rangers, volunteers at two places too.

Youngest in addition to cadets does gymnastics but wants to start swimming so will be chucking gymnastics at Easter (I've paid til then) and doing swimming instead.

I can't afford more than two paid activities a week each.

[Eastpoint]

To improve their confidence, for fun, to develop new skills & interests, so they can meet different children from other backgrounds. They did beavers/cubs/scouts, ballet, tap, drama, ballet funk, karate, gymnastics, tennis, football, voluntary work, cricket & another team sport at different times.

[SomewhereIBelong]

Physical fitness was the main reason at first - school was no good for stamina/cardio fitness, so we took them to Karate which had half an hour of stamina training followed by half an hour of moves twice a week.

They took a 6 hour exam for their black belt - including a 10 mile run (at the start!). Some of their friends would find standing up for 6 hours to be a hard task - let alone exercising for 6 hours.

Also wanted them to grow their interest in music - they have both been very "tuneful" - singing a lot, messing around with rhythms - so we started piano lessons to encourage further interest. DD14 loves it and is going up the grade exams because she has that "competitive" nature, DD12 likes playing but does not do the exams. We take them swimming once a week too - just for fun (and sneaky fitness).

[houseofnerds]

Nice of you to pop back and tell us why you are being so antagonistic, anyway, sweetmuffins.

[houseofnerds]

Are you writing a paper?

[iseenodust]

Swimming was not a choice - IMO it was an essential until he was competent, which he now is so that's stopped.
Beavers/cubs - never went despite his friends going. DS just decided no and that was that.
Tennis - a leaflet came home in his school bag and he wanted to try it. I tried to put him off as it was not in our/an adjacent village. Came out of first day and announced he was going back every holiday. He's been going 5 years now. - we're up to three times a week.
Cricket wanted to go with friends.
I support these as a healthy lifestyle foundation, he has good friends through both who are at different schools, he is always keen to go.

[ageingdisgracefully]

I'm also intrigued as to why kids do so many "activities", especially after a school day.

My dd didn't do anything structured until she was around 8, then she wanted to do everything: gymnastics, and then football were her favourites. Otherwise, she would be hanging out with friends in the park or at their houses.

Quite a few of her friends did very little in the way of "activities" and don't seem to be any the worse for it.

I think sometimes these activities are more for the parent's benefit, tbh. Like as if the more activities the kids do, the better you are as a parent.

[SomewhereIBelong]

some kids get very little exercise if they don't do an "activity" - mine got the bus to school, day at school, bus home, walk dog, that was about it - so not always for the parents' benefit - more for the child's future health and fitness.

[ToffeePenny]

by just allowing schools to educate our children we are limiting their options in later life

This was it for us. I had friends at university that had never been in a museum or to a gallery, watched a performance of an art (ballet, opera, theatre, music) including on TV, or had a physical activity they enjoyed (because they hadn't been good enough at football or netball to make university teams). None of these abilities were relevant to their academic capability but I observed that as adults they were now unnecessarily intimidated by some of these 'it's for posh people' (ballet), 'I won't understand it' (opera) and in some cases curtailed their own opportunities as a result 'I can't go on the work trip (because I can't ski and am worried about losing face)' etc.

I'm not aiming to raise kids who are masters of all of these things btw - that would exhaust and be little fun for both of us (if they do master any of them then that is an unexpected bonus). What I'm trying to teach them is how to appreciate and be open to new things, and hopefully give them the confidence to be comfortable with tackling whatever they come across in life.

[DeeWe]

For fun, and for extra social interaction.

My dc tend to struggle at school social side, but for some reason out of school stuff, they blossom. Not sure why, but it's very good for them.

I don't think any of the stuff they do out of school is leading to a major talent though, and I don't expect it to, which probably helps with the fun side. Some children you see whose parents are determined they're the best at it (even when clear it isn't true) and I don't think they enjoy it as much.

[Heels99]

For fun and to have the opportunity to do things that they may not do otherwise. They love all their activities

[sweetmuffins]

Toffeepenny I like your response. I feel this might be what a lot of parents feel.

I am not being antagonistic, houseofnerds. I'm not doing any sort of project either.

To give you the background, none of my siblings or I were given these opportunities when we were at school. My parents had their own successful business working day and night and there was no one to take my siblings and me to this sort of after school activity. My parents were too busy to get too involved in our school lives and we just went to school and came home with just TV and each other to entertain us. We had grandparents to look after us but they weren't that mobile. So I guess we never developed any special interests because we weren't exposed to them. My parents never paid much attention to our social developmental needs.

I guess I missed out as a child and started this thread to see how parents nowadays compare to my own parents back in my youth. Don't get me wrong, we loved our parents and they us, but they just never even had the concept of getting their kids into extra curricular activities like so many of other parents do.

Toffeepenny's reply hits the nail on the head for me. I feel that I'm limited socially somewhat due predominantly to a lack of experience and familiarity with many things that my peers gained knowledge and experience of in their youth.

I will ensure my DD and other future DCs get what I never got as a kid.

Does it make sense now why I started this thread?
Thanks for all your replies. Lovely people here

[catzpyjamas]

You can still do all those things now and try new things? I don't know that Brownie uniforms come in your size but the Guide and Scout movements are always looking for adult leaders. There are plenty of social groups for adults too or you learn along with DCs. I love going to theatre, ballet, art galleries etc with children- they see everything from a totally different and very refreshing perspective.

[morethanpotatoprints]

My dc all chose clubs outside school as very little offered at school, except for footy which the 2 ds did for a while.

They chose the activities initially and after a trial of a few weeks kept it up or gave up.

We ended up with dd doing dance for 8 years, music so far for about 5 years.
the 2 ds did footy, cricket, hockey, karate and kept up hockey as men.

[UniS]

I spent my own childhood doing LOADS of outside school stuff. in walking distance ( or as I got older cycling distance) from home.
Swimming, Brownies, choir, piano lessons , then as i got older , running club, youth club, Guides youth theatre and eventually amateur dramatics , rangers and a serious choir.

I think DS does more activities than I did at his age, but he is an only and I had to wait for my 2 years younger brother to be old enough to do things too. And as we live in a rural area he does end up being driven miles to sports coaching, where I would have walked 1 mile.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

I did very little (two parents that worked full time here too). I did Brownies and piano lessons, I hated the piano lessons. I always wanted to do ballet and wish I'd done more sports, I only joined one club at university and that was only because a friend persuaded me (Conservation Volunteers, which was brilliant as it happens) - I had no experience of that sort of thing and it just never occurred to me. Anyway, I started ballet classes last year at the age of 47, it really is never too late!

However we did go to the theatre, to concerts, museums, regular trips to London (DM was a teacher so loads of time free in the holidays, just not in term time). DH had virtually never set foot in a theatre or any sort of concert apart from student gigs when I met him as he came from a much larger family where money was tighter and he does have that "it's for posh people" fear.

[houseofnerds]

Apols, hard to tell from the first post, and it could have gone either way.

And for sure - there are always ways you can get involved in your community. Contact girlguiding UK or any of your local volunteer organisations. It is never too late.

My upbringing was similar to yours. I did brownies etc, and then later on was a cadet. No dance or team sports, or music or any of that jazz.

We both work ft.

[shinny]

Very interesting thread.
As a child we were allowed to do one paid activity such as dance / horse riding etc in addition to swim club and an instrument. I was turned away from Brownies....(scarred for life). The dance and music I did has helped me relate to my children when they are doing the same.

I am a SAHM and I ferry my children around to whatever they want to do, within schedule / budget. When I used to work, my DD did ballet and both children did swimming. Ballet was just something we fell into and she is still doing it and swimming, as a lot of people have said, is a life skill.
However my youngest child, aged 5 does nothing other than rugby and I taught him how to swim. He has friends that do countless activities but he loves to go the park. Plenty of time for him to get into organised activites.

At school the older DC have lots of after school clubs available and we take full advantage. And I often tell them how lucky they are.

I agree with posters saying that its about making things accessible to children to try out and gain a few skills which they can either use later in life or else just cross off the list of enjoyment. My daughter hated sailing and my son got fed up of martial arts. But they both learnt something valuable.

My parents always made music and theatre etc accessible to us and so Ive done the same for my DC. If you weren't taught this by your parents its great that you are realising that you need to do this for your own DC.

[RueDeWakening]

I'd second the recommendation of getting involved now.

I was a Guide from 10-14, and rejoined as an adult leader about 5 years ago. I've just been on my first ever Brownie holiday, and I'm 40 :o

[bumblingbovine49]

I agree with those who have said that to have a passion in life is brilliant for all sorts of reasons over and above this and for some people it takes a while to find that passion so trying out different things when you are young is an ideal opportunity to give things a go.

However my main reason for encouraging DS to try after school activities is because I think that children who go to secondary school with a hobby/interest that they enjoy and that takes up some of their spare time will be it less likely to be "bored" teenagers. This in turn may innoculate them against the worst excesses of the less savory activities (e.g drinking, drugs etc) that many teenagers get up to.

Also to get good at most things usually requires quite a bit of practice and things tend to be more fun when you can do them a bit so if you start young on something you will be able to do it quite well by the time you are in secondary school which will give you confidence that you are good at at least one thing. This is particularly important for children who don't find academic work very easy as with my DS.

[sweetmuffins]

I do like the idea of guiding. That's something I was thinking of putting DD into. I never thought about myself joining!

Bumblingbovine, yes, that must assist your DS as at least he would have tried various things in childhood and to get good at a particular hobby will take time. It's great to hear that there are so many fantastic parents out there willing to spend a lot of hard-earned money on their kids' development. That is certainly proper unconditional love and I can see many of you exhibit this by the bucketload.

[Permanentlyexhausted]

I rejoined Guiding as an adult a couple of years ago. I jumped straight in as a unit leader as the unit was about to close and I wanted my daughter to be able to go. Personally I wouldn't recommend doing quite the way I have unless you're totally mad and want an awful lot of work, but I'd definitely recommend signing up and seeing if you can help out as a unit helper to start with.

Join here: enquiryv.girlguiding.org.uk/

[sweetmuffins]

Thanks permanentlyexhausted. I'll try that. Thanks for your tips!