My brothers dishonesty really shocked me today [sad]

[Betternc4this]

I was out with my brother and his young DCs and his partner today as they were in my area. We went to the local park after having lunch and as we were heading for the swings my brother whom I have always thought to be an honest decent person, suddenly bent down and said 'that'll do' or something to that effect and picked up a mobile phone (a nice modern one so probably expensive) that was lying in the grass (nobody around who it could've belonged to that we could see).

My brother then proceeded to the swings with the phone by now in his pocket and proceeded to push one of his DCs on swing. I sat with his partner and watched him as between pushes he seemed to be going through phone. No alarm bells as yet as I thought he was looking for a number to call to reunite phone with owner. His partner commented in a bemused voice that he was looking at the phone - 'look at him, reading that phone' sort of comment.

So after a while we started to walk off the park to go to my house nearby and as we were walking along I asked him about the phone and he sort of shushed me and was pointing behind him. Not having a clue what was going on I left it till we got to my house a few minutes later.
Then he said: 'You know when you asked me about the phone, well the reason I shushed you was those two girls behind us, I think it belonged to one of them - I saw one of them looking around on the grass and the other one was phoning someone and the phone started to ring so I took the battery out as quick as I could.

I still didn't get that my brother was actually intending to keep this phone even though the owner had walked past him apparently until he made a comment about having to see whether it was locked or not and if so get it unlocked as his niece needed a new phone.

His partner seemed absolutely fine with going along with all this and didn't call him on it or query it at all.

To my eternal shame by this stage I couldn't bring myself to say that I thought this was wrong and dishonest not to mention very mean and unkind and as they were leaving then anyway I just said my goodbyes and that was that. I was like a rabbit in the headlights really I was just so shocked.

When they left I just thought 'Who are these people, I just don't even know my own brother '



I have been thinking what to do ever since from calling my brother and asking him to explain what he was going to do with the phone as I don't understand what he was on about and surely he doesn't intend to keep it. Or phoning the police explaining my dilemma and basically grassing him in but ask to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.

I am both angry and dismayed and it somehow seems worse that he openly did this in front of me, on my patch, (where absolutely everyone knows DH and I ) which is quite frankly insulting, the implication being I wouldn't see anything wrong with it.


WWYD ??

[LaurenSquealer]

I don't really understand how this has been dragged out a couple of days...

You sound like a nice person, OP, but if I were you I would tell your brother straight that it is a crime to keep someone elses phone, and that he needs to call her through her contact numbers and return it. It would not look suspicious at all - he could say he found it in the park today, or abandoned somewhere else.

Or insist he passes it to you, then you call them. It's down to you but I wouldn't drop it. Not if this is going to colour how you see your brother. If you can force him to do the right thing, then do. I hope it all works out.

[kerala]

Scummy behaviour. My friend dropped her phone in the street a homeless man called her mother to say he had found it and to arrange collection. I don't blame you for questioning your relationship that is awful.

[SquidgyMummy]

so what happened to this phone in the end, did your brother give it back or are you still pussy footing around him OP...?

[NoComet]

I'd have called the girls over and said I think my brother has what you are looking for and made him hand it back there and then.

I know how furious my DDs would be at the thieving bastard.

[Flojobunny]

OP you are being way too soft on him. He has committed a crime and as someone else said scummy behaviour. You are implicated in that crime as you knew about it and said nothing. Would you say nothing if he had physically hurt a child? Are you really that mild and meek that you can't call your younger brother up on his disgusting behaviour?
I found a phone a couple of months back, I decent smart phone, it never crossed my mind to keep it as I know I'd be lost without mine, especially losing my contacts list and photos.
I would not want anything more to do with him and I'd tell him he's a scumbag.

[MariaLuna]

I was phoned up by a stranger about 3 weeks ago to tell me he had found my son's phone and was handing it in to the bar where he'd found it. I thanked him profusely and was happy that there are still honest people in the world.

What a gentleman! No wait, it's the only decent thing to do.

[notanyanymore]

It is theft as he is 'intending to permanently deprive the owner' of the phone. He really needs to try and return it to the owner/hand it into the police, this could easily come back to bite him on the arse... Or he would need to just dump/recycle it which would needlessly be depriving a young girl of her property!
what a wanker to steal from a young girl

[notanyanymore]

Also, it would't look funny if you handed it in now!!!

[Bluebell99]

I would call your brother and say unless he gives you the phone now, you are reporting him to the police, and do it. Your brother is a thief, and by not reporting it, you are enabling him. I can't believe you are still babysitting for him. I would want nothing more to do with him.

[Bluebell99]

Actually, I really hope this is made up, because you are just as bad for going with it and not challenging your brother. I wish I knew who your brother is, as I would not hesitate in calling the police. What an unpleasant man.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Tell the person he intends to give it to just how he came to have it.

I think he is revolting.

That poor girl.

[TheRealFellatio]

Good God. Planning on keeping it for himself was not very nice. Keeping it when he knew full well the owner was there looking for it was a vile thing to do. I am amazed you did not feel you could tell him that - he's your brother, not your boss!

My son found a very flashy, expensive phone on a train once, when he was only 16. He phoned the owner, told him he'd found it, and handed it in at lost property so the man could collect it. He has to leave his own phone number when he handed it in,in case it was never claimed. The next day the man rang my son, asked for our address and drove 30 miles to knock on our door and give my son 50 quid to say thank you.

I felt very proud. Most kids of that age would have kept a a phone that was worth about ten times the one they had.

[catballou]

OP you could say to him that the situation made you feel REALLY uncomfortable and as you value your relationship with him you cannot just drop it. Tell him it is not too late to the right thing, (he knows what the right thing is). He probably know he's gone down in your estimation and is hoping the whole thing will just go away. And of course it'll only go away if he does the right thing. Good luck!

[flipchart]

This is dragging out way to long now and becoming a bad joke.
You are allowing your brother to get away with this and you know he is fobbing you.

My lad dropped his iPod touch that was brand new at a skatepark and we know someone took it and used it but we couldn't get it back. He was heartbroken for ages.
How dare you and your brother allow this to happen to someone else.
You are now in cahoots with him.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

His defence of 'you'd keep a tenner' is crap. Firstly, if I knew whose tenner it was I wouldn't dream of keeping it - once chased a woman halfway round Tesco carpark to return the fiver she'd left in the self-service change tray. Secondly, the phone has a monetary value of a lot more than a tenner and finally, it has more than a financial value to the owner. The inconvenience and distress of losing your phone is a lot worse!

It would horrify me that his first reaction was to keep it and there is no way I would drop this. The girl will be delighted to get her phone back, however much time has passed. I would keep on at your brother until he hands it in and point out all the consequences stealing someone's phone can have - it's far worse than just the financial loss, it's all the personal things you have on your phone as well e.g photos, messages, phone numbers etc.

Please don't drop this, OP!

[tumbletumble]

OP, your brother is an absolute louse

[Vickibee]

I found a latest I phone in a pub garden and reunited it with its owner by calling a contact, got a 50 pound reward too. My conscience would not have let me keep it although a little tempted

[lborolass]

If you and your DH know everyone where you live it shouldn't be too hard to find out who the girls are and let them know where the phone is. I've both lost and found a phone and both times the phones were reunited by honest people. Your description of your brother makes him sound like a rather unpleasant person. Why would anyone want to give someone else a stolen phone? (there's something called theft by finding I think)

[Mummyoftheyear]

Actually gasped audibly. You must be shocked and deeply disappointed. I don't know what to suggest. Shane he didn't give it in while girls were still there. Bet they were deeply upset/ one of them was.
I'd prob. tell him I was shocked n thought he should return it. Tell him you once lost your phone n were beside yourself and saw look on her face - if you need to be less police -like.

[Caitlin17]

It is appalling behaviour and it is definitely theft.

Keep on at him until he hands it over to you. Don't try to return it direct but take it to the police for them to return.

[BillyBanter]

This happened in July.

I was thinking about it the other day, actually.

[CookieDoughKid]

Sorry op but this is damn poor behaviour of your bro. What sort of example is he setting to his family? Its dishonest, it's theft and a criminal offence. Can you let him know the mobile phone network can trace last known location should you report this?

I would report what you know to the police and let them deal with it.

And if your brother is willing to give you a hard time then you really do not know your brother. Is he with knowing?

Sorry op if that sounds harsh but I would not condone this to my DC or family.

[WithRedWine]

Call the police, say something like 'my brother's too busy to call but he found a phone and is going to drop it in, then give his details. Then give him a call & let him know how 'helpful' you've been.

[UncleT]

Thief is wholly accurate. He even admitted to seeing who he believed to be the owner searching for it, yet deliberately made off with her property. Nasty piece of work.