Myself and DH are trying to help his parents in any way we can but its proving to be a struggle .
I will say MIL has always been a very difficult woman and Parkinson's seems to have magnified these traits.
She is 73, has been diagnosed for around 5 years.
The issue we face is his dad gives us snippets of quite alarming information regarding her health/symptoms and then panics because she will be "angry" if she finds out we have been told.
In my mind it seems to be progressing quite fast with her not able to now make a cup of tea or follow any simple sequences, she seems confused alot and repeats herself, she cannot be left alone for very long and will constantly call asking where FIL is.
Shes getting more and more urine infections which adds to the confusion and hallucinations and its taking her longer to overcome them despite 2/3 courses of antibiotics.
I think she is showing signs of dementia but my DH is in a slight bit of denial which is understandable and im by no means an expert.
There never seems to be any "good days" now, she rarely leaves the house and is riddled with anxiety.
DH goes over at least twice a week but I think we probably now need to up our game and help more, we have 3 young children and both work FT so it will take a bit of a juggling act but that is life i suppose.
Im thinking if cooking more meals to help FIL out as he needs to do everything, im just really looking for other peoples experiences and what to expect,
Elderly parents
Parkinson's and how to navigate
foodglorious · 28/03/2024 11:28
AnnaMagnani · 28/03/2024 11:33
It does sound a lot like Parkinsons dementia, especially given the hallucinations and memory problems.
Are they honest when they see the specialist or Parkinsons nurse? There are effective ways to change her medication to reduce the hallucinations and anxiety but if FIL is very ostrich about it, it won't get done.
Depending how much you want to be involved, you could ask to go to her next review (and get it brought forward) so the specialist and you get a real picture of what is going on.
PermanentTemporary · 28/03/2024 13:22
Blimey this sounds quite an intense level of need.
In your situation with a young family, rather than upping your input of things like cooking meals, I agree with focusing your efforts on slightly more strategic things - like talking to Parkinsons UK, getting your FIL to talk to you in front of her, getting PoA, going to the specialist appointments together, and above all referring her to social services for a needs assessment. If she can't even manage a cup of tea independently, she is 100% dependent on your FIL and my guess would be that he is at high risk of getting ill himself.
I would start to encourage them to eat more ready meals and to look at meal planning and shopping needs. So helping with making decisions and planning. Outsource everything that doesn't really need you as an individual.
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