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Elderly parents

Care home - is this normal?

24 replies

Franklefoot · 23/03/2024 11:31

My lovely MIL has moved into a nursing home two days ago. She has quite severe physical mobility issues as a result of stroke, also has diabetes, and a catheter. Her mental capacity is fine, although she is in a lot of physical pain and sleeps a lot.
I've arrived to see her this morning (11ish) to find her in bed asleep. Not a problem in itself but the door to her room was wide open with residents walking the corridor. One pleasant resident has come into her room while I have been here, peered at MIL asleep and asked me what time lunch is.
This is all new to me and DH. Is this normal that doors would be left like this and residents can wander in? I can see that doors shut could also be a safeguard issue.

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Whatevershallidowithmylife · 23/03/2024 11:36

Yeah doors are normally left open so staff can glance in as they're passing. It does also mean other residents can go in at any time (and from experience take anything they want to - clothes, glasses, teeth). You can obviously ask for the room to be kept locked if you're confident MIL can use the intercom system to ask for assistance.

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Makeupbagz · 23/03/2024 11:37

Nothing helpful to say but following with interest as my mum is due to go into a home next week.

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Lampan · 23/03/2024 11:39

Normal in my experience. It must be a safety thing

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EllBellWell · 23/03/2024 11:46

No, this isn't normal. It's a breach of MIL dignity and respect. Staff can check mum is OK but leaving her door open so people can see her sleeping isn't dignified. Ask the home manager what provisions are in place to protect her dignity whilst sleeping

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kalokagathos · 23/03/2024 12:17

It's exactly the same in my grandmother's home

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HollyNightingale · 23/03/2024 12:34

It is normal, however if it bothers your MIL staff should accommodate her wishes to keep her door closed (they could write this into her care plan), and ensure she has access to a call bell in case she needs assistance (which they should anyway). In terms of privacy & dignity, they would always close the door when providing any assistance such as personal care, otherwise doors are often left open but it really comes down to individual preference. You could have an informal chat with the manager or senior/nurse on duty about it when you visit. If she’s happy to, it would probably be good for MIL to spend some time in communal areas (such as dining room for meals and group activities in the lounge) to prevent a feeling of social isolation if her bedroom door is usually closed.

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Franklefoot · 23/03/2024 12:44

Thanks everyone. Really helpful. We're at those early stages of finding out how things work, and I think it can be a case of building up trust with the place too.

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Viviennemary · 23/03/2024 12:51

No I wouldnt be happy with other residents wandering into her room. Not on.

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Metoo15 · 23/03/2024 12:54

Yes the doors are left open at my mums care home, she prefers it open. It’s closed only during the night.

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Mum5net · 23/03/2024 13:00

We've experience of places where doors have been opened and also locked. My DM had severe dementia but so did all the other residents in varying degrees. Your DMiL has full faculty so the difficulty will be if she is annoyed by these intrusions. In her shoes, if the 'intruders' have much less faculty than she has, I would be very upset.
The other residents mean no harm and eventually do become her extended family members. However, for now, I would ask that at least for part of the day she is spared these visits and given her own privacy.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 23/03/2024 20:31

Doors open in my father’s home, but the doors are hung in such a way that you can’t see the bed. Door is shut if they know he’s asleep.

(Door is hung so opening is the wall side, and the open door conceals part of the room. Used to be standard in houses. But with smaller rooms doors are hung the other way, so they open against the wall, as a space saving measure)

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Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 23/03/2024 20:37

Ime it’s down to resident preference as to wether doors are open or shut, and the only rule was bedroom doors were not to be locked and they didn’t have that ability, only corridor/floor/stair doors were key code locked. Staff did peek around closed doors after knocking to ensure residents were a) safe and alive or needed anything b) to remove unwanted residents who liked to ‘visit’ - although those were kept a close enough eye on to ensure they didn’t go in other peoples rooms.

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Neolara · 23/03/2024 20:39

At my mum's care home, the doors are open, but there are sort of baby gates to keep other residents from wandering in. Generally lights are turned off if residents are sleeping, so they have a bit of privacy through that. It's a dementia setting and residents are free to explore each others room as well as the communal areas.

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Roryhon · 23/03/2024 20:48

I’d think it’s possibly so she’s not stuck staring at the walls all day. So she can see people going past etc.

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user1567879667589 · 23/03/2024 20:53

Yes - doors open, and staff used to glance in every time they passed by and have a quick chat. It was very helpful in keeping spirits up once my relative no longer capable of spending time in the communal areas. No dementia patients at this home though.
In the last few weeks when i spent every day there, there was a fire alarm test once a week and the doors shut automatically when the alarm goes off. That was a bit of a surprise!

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rickyrickygrimes · 24/03/2024 11:10

It’s the same in MILs dementia / nursing home, with wandering patients, random shouts and alarms going off, staff popping in and out. I found it weird at first, but having been there a lot now I don’t think there is any manageable alternative for the staff. They need to be able to walk past, glance in, and walk on. And I imagine that it would get very lonely for immobile residents to be shut in their room all day.

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PinkBuffalo · 24/03/2024 11:23

Normal in my mum home to have doors open to rooms

to be fair though she is on the nursing floor so I think no residents are mobile the vast majority are in bed/chair

mum much prefers her door open which is understandable. We did have an issue with another resident wandering last year and keep going in mum room (they were next door to eachother and this lady was very confused). The other lady was eventually move upstairs where the mobile residents are

mum has been here nearly 5 years now and I am very comfortable visiting her at weekend my days off it definitely feels like home here for us

hope you mil settle in soon 💐

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PinkBuffalo · 24/03/2024 11:24

user1567879667589 · 23/03/2024 20:53

Yes - doors open, and staff used to glance in every time they passed by and have a quick chat. It was very helpful in keeping spirits up once my relative no longer capable of spending time in the communal areas. No dementia patients at this home though.
In the last few weeks when i spent every day there, there was a fire alarm test once a week and the doors shut automatically when the alarm goes off. That was a bit of a surprise!

Same in mum house the doors shut automatically in an emergency it is actually really clever!

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NorthCliffs · 24/03/2024 12:03

Would a stairgate be allowed? Or would it be deemed a fire hazard?

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SunbathingDragon · 24/03/2024 12:07

It’s normal but it means not only do things get taken but I’ve seen many occasions where a man with dementia will be so confused that he will urinate in the room. It is classed as H&S but other places have alternatives in place and fewer rooms in between fire doors which seems to help.

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rickyrickygrimes · 24/03/2024 20:01

SunbathingDragon · 24/03/2024 12:07

It’s normal but it means not only do things get taken but I’ve seen many occasions where a man with dementia will be so confused that he will urinate in the room. It is classed as H&S but other places have alternatives in place and fewer rooms in between fire doors which seems to help.

There doesn’t seem to be a way to allow staff to have easy, regular access to rooms without also allowing other residents to do so. In many other settings this would be unacceptable from a safeguarding / privacy / dignity perspective but in nursing homes it seems to be the norm 🤷‍♀️.

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Cedricsmum · 25/03/2024 10:37

My mum has a child safety gate on her door so that she can see out and others can see in but the other residents can’t get in to her. She’s immobile and in bed all the time.

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RaininSummer · 25/03/2024 10:49

Loss of privacy and dignity seem to be one of the biggest issues in care homes sadly.

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colouredball · 26/03/2024 14:46

There doesn’t seem to be a way to allow staff to have easy, regular access to rooms without also allowing other residents to do so

Closing the doors can be a simple and effective way. It just means staff have to open the door to look in on residents. It won't stop all uninvited visitors but it's a really effective barrier in the majority of situations

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