Not sure if anyone can help. My FIL has quite suddenly (within the last 5 years, not just post covid,) gone from being a normal 60-something to what most people would expect from a much older man. Even my DHs grandmother (FIL's mum,) and aunt (FIL's sister,) have commented on this, so it's not just us.
DH is upset and a bit exasperated by this, I think because he thinks some of it is due to FIL giving up/not trying to be and MIL is obviously taking a fair bit of the brunt of it, as she's found herself slipped into slightly more of a caring position when no one expects this for a 69 year old.
I wonder however if there could be something diagnosable behind it (and if so, possibly something treatable?) It's been a pretty fast change, which is why I wonder. My mother developed a thyroid problem in her 50s which made her really tired, among other symptoms, but once diagnosed and operated on went straight back being a normal, healthy, active person - literally within a couple of weeks.
Am I being mad/is this wishful thinking? Who or what would you ask if trying to check?
Elderly parents
Reasons one might become 'old before their time?'
utopian99 · 19/03/2023 16:05
whatwasIgoingtosay · 19/03/2023 16:14
It could be the onset of dementia, or maybe depression. My late FIL became very 'old' after he retired, then was asked to help out with meals on wheels and it gave him a new lease of life - being out in the community, talking to others less fortunate than him and being seen as helpful. Maybe he just needs a useful purpose in life. 🙏
HappyHamsters · 19/03/2023 16:16
Has anyone spoken to fil and said they are concerned about him, has he seen a doctor. If he is depressed and your dh thinks he has given up then both he and mil need his help and support.many people much younger than your mil take on a caring role.
MumOf2workOptions · 19/03/2023 16:09
I'm so sorry to read this
I'd get him to the GP and have some bloods done and check infection markers etc...
hopefully you get an answer soon
ComeOnYouSummer · 19/03/2023 17:51
How is he getting old? Is he sitting around all day? 69 isn’t that young. Does he seem
happy?
SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 19/03/2023 17:55
Is he happy with his life as it is? Perhaps he thinks that as he's worked all his life (I assume he has) and is now retired, he doesn't need or want to do anything much. He's earned a rest. Let him decide how to spend his retirement. Not everyone wants to go out and have hobbies
thedevilinablackdress · 19/03/2023 17:48
Eyesight will be a big part of I reckon. DM got a new lease of life after cataract surgery.
Hearing is also one to check on.
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Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 20/03/2023 10:51
@MereDintofPandiculation that's sort of what i meant you worded it better, but untreated hearing loss is a risk and the decrease in social activity that comes with it can lead to withdrawal anxiety depression etc
to be honest if I couldn't see my own feet properly I would be nervous about walking and vertainly wouldn't be going on uneven ground etc but hopefully once eye surgery done that confidence with mobility will return
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