Care home neglect?

[Mxflamingnoravera]

My mum has dementia, she lives in a care home. I visit weekly. She's been in her current home since august and was three years in her previous home, she had to leave because she started to wander out and get lost, they couldn't keep her in and so I moved her to a specialist (locked) dementia home.

I visited yesterday and she was complaining about a mark on her shoe. I asked her to give me the shoe so she took it off and handed it to me. It smelled dreadful and I commented that it was a bit whiff and then looked down at her feet. I was horrified to see that her toenails were like claws, she clearly had fungal nail disease and they had not been cared for or cut in months.

Her bill clearly shows chiropodist charges in February and November, but the state of her nails looks to me like they've been untreated for months. I tried to cut the nails myself but it was impossible without causing her pain.

I went down to see the manager and the clinical lead. The clinical lead (a nurse) looked at the pictures I'd taken of mum's feet and said that has not happened overnight, that's months of disease.

They've promised a doctors visit next week and a chiropodist visit, but it suggests to me that this is symptomatic of a deeper neglect. In my situation what would others do? I'm going to write and complain. It's self funded and costs £1470 a week...

[Mxflamingnoravera]

I'm just back from a meeting at the home. They've accepted that the standard of care has fallen short and offered a no notice move or to stay on current fees (they are due to increase from next month). I'm still going to move her. Thank you all for your suggestions, I don't think I'd have got these outcomes without your help, so it's very much appreciated. All I have to do now is find a remover who will pack up and move her stuff (so far no luck). I may have to pack myself and get a friend with a van to help- but he and I both have back problems so I'd rather use professionals.

[Chippy1234]

Please use professionals if only a man with a van and a few young lads. I find the Next Door App is very useful for quick responses. Be prepared for her to be trying to micro manage the move but tbh unless you have massively expensive stuff I would use who you can find.

I am waiting for a decision from the care home regarding my late parents fees. Mine is different because I am actually asking for money back. We shall see and well done!

You have been paying nearly £80k for her care per year. I am sure you can find somewhere better. I bet as well she was proping up some of the residents who werent paying anything. My parent certainly was and before anyone says that some people just cannot afford it - care homes are businesses. You need to take them on a business when things like this happen.

[Mum5net]

If you need to order boxes and bags, I recommend Ikea cardboard boxes and the Ikea Dimpna storage bag. Ikea can deliver them straight to care home. I moved my student 400 miles at the weekend using a one way van service but I wouldn't recommend them. However I can vouch for the Ikea boxes and bags,

[Quisquam]

Yes, DH wants to refuse to pay the care home fees; although MIL had only been there a few weeks and they hadn’t charged her; before they sent her to hospital. She left hospital with CKD level 3 and went back with sepsis and CKD level 5. The staff told us, it was the worst kidney function they had ever seen; and they wondered how long she’d been left without food and drink by the care home.

We had the suspicion, they decided she was over a certain age, and put her on the Liverpool care pathway, without any consultation with anyone else!

[Mxflamingnoravera]

I've even got them to admit they've taken and used with other residents 100 pairs of incontinence pants that were mum's (she refused to use them). They are going to refund and also all fees for toiletries.

I've found a man with a van and I have the ikea bags ready to go.

So sorry to hear about your mum @Quisquam, keep on keeping on.

[Quisquam]

I've even got them to admit they've taken and used with other residents 100 pairs of incontinence pants that were mum's (she refused to use them).

Thanks OP!

Yes, MIL was sent to two step down/rehab care homes by SS after hospital stays. Every time, they moved her to another room, all her packs of incontinence pads in the wardrobe “disappeared”!

[Mxflamingnoravera]

@Quisquam that's exactly what happened with my mum... in the wardrobe then gone. Speak up and ask where they are.

[saraclara]

My MIL had the most loving and thoughtful care in a council care home, until she died last year. Whenever I visted, staff would greet me with warmth and insist on making me a cup of tea (and if lunch was still being served, try to press food on me too, as they knew I had a long drive!). MIL was always clean and dressed beautifully and they co-ordinated her outfits. She was oblivious with her dementia, but still they dressed her nicely, and if they had to buy anything for her, they'd choose things based on her taste in clothing and colours.

My Mum had absolutely appalling and impersonal care in a BUPA care home, where none of the staff even said hello when we visited. I'd turn up at lunctime and she'd still have breakfast weetabix stuck to her face and stains on her clothing.

I think that the general belief that private care is better than local authority care has been turned on its head.

[Fifi1010]

It's neglect but care and nursing staff aren't allowed to treat feet is your DM diabetic? She needs emollient on those. I'd ask how it wasn't picked up and ask did the chiropodist actually come out and treat. It should be all written in her care plan and notes if they did indeed come out.

[WiIson]

I think that the general belief that private care is better than local authority care has been turned on its head.

I've always found LA homes to be much better. Maybe because it's less about profit with better career progression and training for staff. Shame there isn't a lot more of them.

[orangetriangle]

agree these all singing all dancing homes are often not worth the paper they are written on and the reason some have an outstanding offsted is they refuse to take on patience with more challenging symptoms in the latter stages of dementia even if you are able to pay I dont know if they think well this one wont last long we wont get much money out of this one
Perhaps I'm being harsh but we had one refuse mum and show very little compassion and claim they had never seen anyone like her before !!
The home she eventually went to may have been a bit tatty round the edges nothing fased them though and they cared for mum right to the very end Guess what there were lots of people just like mum there. The original all singing all dancing care home tried to make out she had issues grrrr

[Fifi1010]

@orangetriangle

agree these all singing all dancing homes are often not worth the paper they are written on and the reason some have an outstanding offsted is they refuse to take on patience with more challenging symptoms in the latter stages of dementia even if you are able to pay I dont know if they think well this one wont last long we wont get much money out of this one
Perhaps I'm being harsh but we had one refuse mum and show very little compassion and claim they had never seen anyone like her before !!
The home she eventually went to may have been a bit tatty round the edges nothing fased them though and they cared for mum right to the very end Guess what there were lots of people just like mum there. The original all singing all dancing care home tried to make out she had issues grrrr

I don't think it's purely that. I'm guessing some care homes will have better pay and conditions for care staff so don't struggle as much with recruitment and retention. Also in the latter stages of dementia many require more 1:1 care. Staff probably haven't had the right training and there's not enough of them hence the complaints . I moved to complex care from a generic care home and we have 12 members of staff to 10 residents it much better and we don't have half the retention issues.

[Mxflamingnoravera]

Mum doesn't have diabetes, her legs and feet are swollen from a DVT and lack of exercise as far as I know. She has gone from a size 12/14 to size 20 since she's been in care (3.5 years) mostly (I think) because she just eats whatever is offered and much of it seems to be hi carb.

I'm pleased to have got her into a HA care home, my friend's (a social worker) mother was in the same home and ha had nothing but praise for the place.

Being responsible for her and her sister is grinding me down, it's exhausting, I'm an only child and my aunt has no children, so it's all on my shoulders. I just keep on doing what I can. I didn't get on with my mum until she became frail, I still don't, but I'm doing my duty. It's a hard slog.

[Quisquam]

These two articles are in the Guardian today:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/mar/23/english-councils-spent-480m-on-inadequate-care-homes-in-four-years

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/mar/23/families-horror-at-privately-run-uk-care-homes

[Chippy1234]

ditto with my parent re the pads! Doors are wide open so people are wandering around all the time. My Father's suit was removed from his room and eventually found in another residents room. The pads issue was because carers knew where a big store of them were (paid for by me!) and used to dip into them for people they had forgotten to order for.

Eventually I realised I was providing them for a number of residents so I told the home to get them through the GP. They fought back a bit because GP's prefer that the residents family buys them but I refused.

[MereDintofPandiculation]

She has gone from a size 12/14 to size 20 since she's been in care (3.5 years) mostly (I think) because she just eats whatever is offered and much of it seems to be hi carb. The more usual problem is weight loss, so food seems to be enriched where possible. They should have been weighing her regularly and adjusting diet accordingly

[HollyFern1110]

@MereDintofPandiculation

She has gone from a size 12/14 to size 20 since she's been in care (3.5 years) mostly (I think) because she just eats whatever is offered and much of it seems to be hi carb. The more usual problem is weight loss, so food seems to be enriched where possible. They should have been weighing her regularly and adjusting diet accordingly

Totally agree with this. Weightloss is much more common in care homes - and indeed the elderly population in general - so they tend to add calories to food wherever possible. Cream, butter etc.

[orangetriangle]

Yes at mums home they only gave them full fat milk etc and were regularly coming round with cakes biscuits sweets etc keeping the weight on seemed to be their biggest problem

[Mxflamingnoravera]

The chiropodist did not keep notes, they will from now on, the home have accepted that this should have been happening all along.

No one seems bothered (apart from me) about her weight gain. I've asked them to stop the cakes and biscuits and puddings and offer healthy snacks. But the cake keeps coming.

[Quisquam]

The Guardian seems to be focusing on this:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/27/social-care-britain-business-plan-elderly-mistreated-homes-profit

[Mxflamingnoravera]

Interesting, the chiropdy thing seems to be a theme, being charged but not happening. We really do need a complete rethink of dementia care, people with dementia need to live meaningful lives and have activities that are real instead of being put in front of the Tv with some colouring sheets.

[Xrays]

Well done for challenging this. I hope your Mums care is much better in the new home. 💐

[Mum5net]

When does DM move, OP? Is the new place easy to get to? Hopefully the weight on your shoulders will lessen when the transfer is done.

[Perpetuallyexhaustedtoddlermum]

Hope I'm not too late to the party but I was a carer before having DS and I'd never have seen that and ignored.
Escalate to the highest level of management and if you're not satisfied with the response, the CQC is next. I'm sure your mum isn't the only one being neglected like this.

[MereDintofPandiculation]

@Mxflamingnoravera

Interesting, the chiropdy thing seems to be a theme, being charged but not happening. We really do need a complete rethink of dementia care, people with dementia need to live meaningful lives and have activities that are real instead of being put in front of the Tv with some colouring sheets.

Care doesn’t work well at any age, but decision making for young people includes provision for seeing friends and doing activities. For older people, it’s thought perfectly acceptable for them to spend their entire days in one room with a commode, with 4 15min “care” visits. Apparently older people need washing, toileting and feeding and have no other needs.