WHO IS THE BEST????

[alexsmum]

Opinions needed please.
If a reception teacher has a 'pupil of the week' award for her class of 4 and 5 year olds, should she
a) make sure that every pupil gets to be be it at least once
b)just give it to whoever she wants to, even if it means some children get it 2 or 3 times and some never?

[angelkiss]

Alexsmum, have just spent ages reading most of this thread and just wanted to say I'm thrilled you had the courage to go and talk to the HoR and that your ds got the award...fab news!
God forbid, anything else happens with this teacher you MUST go and talk to her. As a teacher and a first time mum I was appalled to hear what she's been saying. I don't think it's necessarily true that you need to have kids to be a good teacher; my friend is 27, no kids and one of the best reception teachers I've seen...I've also seen the reverse! Remember that teachers are just human beings who you SHOULD be able to communicate with and USUALLY a parent who comes to you(as a teacher) for whatever reason and is polite is welcomed!

[zebraZ]

Fab news, congrats to Alex.

[homemama]

Excellent - Well done alex!!!

[alexsmum]

just wanted to update you all;Alex came home with the pupil of the week award today! hurray! he was absolutely bursting with pride and can't wait for his daddy to get home so he can tell him!
so glad i had the courage to say something.

[Nightynight]

alexmum,
just read this. I would have felt exactly as you did, and I have 4 children. I think you did just the right thing, hope your ds has a more positive experience now!

[tigermoth]

Read this yesterday at work and I think you were right to speak to the head of reception Alexsmum. Your boy had noticed and was upset that he had never won the pupil of the week award, depsite being good and working hard - that's enough reason to query things IMO.

My son's year 1 teacher is very young (this is her first year of teaching) and I too have found her patronising at times. She has my second child, so I have already been through the primary school system once as a parent (ds1 is in Year6 so about to leave) and her attitude sticks out. Her people skills regarding parents need working on IMO. It makes me mad, too, so I know where you are coming from!

[handlemecarefully]

Alexsmum,

You absolutely did the right thing talking to the Head of Reception!

[nooka]

Our school has sticker charts, acheivement awards etc, and my son (who has some behaviour issues) has three different charts - the normal one, one for being calm, and one for not crying.

The stickers seem to be handed out to all children pretty frequently, but my son doesn't always get one. The stars get given at "golden assemblies" when children get ten stars on their chart in a week. Some children do get them more frequently than others, but then different children behave differently.

I would guess that children in the middle of the behaviour range probably do miss out. Stickers and stars are essentially used as a behaviour control tool. There isn't a "child of the week" at our school and that seems a pretty dodgy thing to me. If it's given to all children, then what's really the point? If it's for the best child, then that seems divisive. Although having said that there is a board with names on in the reception area. Maybe my son (now in year 1) has just never made it there!

Certainly at nursery my ds got vastly more stars than dd. But then she never needed any incentive for not taking her shoes off and throwing them at the teacher...

I guess what I'm saying is that there are lots of reasons why stars and stickers are used. The bad behaviour stuff is much less visible (does the school have "time outs" etc?) and may balance at least some of the stickers/stars.

However, these things should be school policy, and not up to the individual teacher. Our scheme is set out the school prospectus. You might find it useful to look at it to see if the same concerns might be true for you next year, or if it's an interpretation problem.

[Orinoco]

Message withdrawn

[Moomin]

Don't be scared to going to school! There is NO WAY, your ds's teacher would 'haul you in' and have this out with you!! I'm really glad you got to see that there are some VERY considerate and understanding teachers out there and someone who gets where you're coming from. It is very hard when you hear legitimate complaints about a colleague but if you are professional enough (like this H of R sounds) you can do what needs to be done without there being repercussions on the complainant(s). Well done - I bet you feel loads better about having got this off your chest to soemone that can do something about it.

[homemama]

Well done Alexsmum - glad you got some support. For the other teacher to so clearly back you, you know you are in the right. I'd still push for the pupil of the week thing if only for your DS.
Let us know how it goes!

[alexsmum]

i am so grateful for all your supportive replies.So glad to have someone else confirm that i am not over reacting.
Anyway, today(trumpets sound) i spoke to head of reception about the situation. She is a friendly,down to earth woman who has 3 kids(which helps). I just said that i thought alex got the rough end of the stick sometimes, that he hardly ever comes out with stickers, that he has never been pupil of the week while his friends all have at least once and in some cases twice, that i feel his teacher thinks i'm a mad neurotic and over protective parent.I also told her about the the toilet incident and what his teacher had said to me...she cringed and said " how patronising,i can't believe she said that".she also said that no child should have been punished like that..that allowances should be made for the first term never mind the first week.Basically, sympathised with me! She also said it didn't matter what the teacher thought of me because i knew that i was just being a mother.She also said that the teacher is new to reception. Anyway, i hadn't meant to pour all this out and she was saying'don't worry it's in confidence'.so i said ' don't say anything to her'.she said she wouldn't say anything directly , but that clearly there were issues that needed resolving, that she would take a very very softly softly approach so nothing would come back on me iyswim.i said i was worrying in case alex was the naughty boy in the class and thats why he was being overlooked and she said that he wasn't. he 's not rowdy or anything and if he was she would know him better!
so maybe it is the middle of the road kid thing some of you were saying.anyway, glad i said something and glad that one of the schools teachers has agreed with me that the situation is wrong.
i'm dreading going up to the school tomorrow now though in case i get pulled in for further discussion with the said teacher etc.
i think i'm going to home educate ds2!

[coppertop]

Arrggh! End of each term.

[coppertop]

At ds1's school they get stickers for doing something well. These can be for anything from helping another child in the playground to eating lunch nicely. All children are awarded them at some point during the week. The school also gives out merit certificates at the end of teach term but there are so few of these that only a small number of children will get one. Certainly no-one gets one twice.

Being punished for going to the toilet without asking in the 1st week of school is outrageous IMO. It was one of the issues I discussed with ds1's teacher before he started school. At the time ds1 was pretty much incapable of asking permission to do anything (he's autistic). She explained that Reception children are allowed to go without asking but by the end of the school year each child has learned to ask first. They certainly aren't told off for not asking.

[swedishmum]

I hate Star of the Week as it is at our school. Ds worked out in Reception that the way to get it was to be a bit lazy for a few weeks then work for a bit! Dd1 (gifted and talented - apparently) never gets it though teacher tries to be fair. Dd2 also able has only rarely got it. The kids know what's going on, and the bright children know that others are likely to be ahead of them because of motivation. Silly idea as far as I can see. Far too divisive.

[zebraZ]

Everyone including the school tells me that Reception is about getting used to the school, the ways of school life. But in a positive, not a mean competitve way. That's what bothers me about Alexsmum story, it's not right at all for a reception class to be run that way. I hope you can get into a frame of mind to complain.

The naughtiest kids in DS1's reception class seem to get the most charts & certificates (& stickers) for good behavior -- they're the ones that need the most encouragement to behave right.

[homemama]

Yes Twiglett, cheek indeed. We have a friend who is an A&E doctor. He told me than when a mother takes her child to casualty, in order to ascertain whether she is an over-reacting first time mum, the ask if the child has any brothers or sisters. The arrogance!!! Never mind that as a mother, first time or not, you've taken your child to hosp. because you really believe something is wrong!
Sorry, Alexsmum, still cross about your situation too!

[happymerryberries]

I run a star chart for one y9 class. but the kids can get up to 4 stars per lesson and i make sure that they all get one! I also run pupil of the lesson, but that is given for all sort of things.
my kids school runs it on 'everyone gets it'. lines. by far the best idea imho.

[Twiglett]

I think that's an appalling concept and am truly shocked

You MUST talk to teacher / write to teacher and copy in head about this

It is a demotivational tactic for your DS and needs to be addressed soon (after all the year is nearly over)

and as an aside I would be furious if a 23 year old woman with no children and little teaching experience talked to me like that 'is this your first' indeed

[alexsmum]

homemama, on friday he came home with a sticker saying 'headteachers award' which he had got in assembly for being brave about his arm, but another kid who was hurt got one too so it was less special iyswim?
bothering me more than him i think.
but will get dh to talk to her i think.so glad you think it's bad because i thought i was getting worked up over something trivial. i really can't stand the woman.hope he gets someone better next year.

[pixiefish]

alexsmum- option a should be the only option.

Unfortunately it's true what others have said that if he's a good boy he'll get over looked. It's a crap system if she awards it willy nilly. In my (secondary)tutor group I have a chart on the wall showing praise and complaint slips. I try to make sure that all pupils get some praise slips though by doing certain tasks on rota so that everyone has a turn and then a slip. Even the naughtiest child then gets some ticks for praise slips (secondary so they have lots of differnet teachers)

[homemama]

Alexsmum, go to her (then the head if you get nowhere) and suggest that he should get it next wk for being so brave about his arm and having to miss his trip.
Say, 'I think this would really help with his self esteem' etc
Please post back regulary cause I'll be seething till he gets it. I even phoned another teacher friend this morning to tell her, I was so cross!

[handlemecarefully]

Poor Happyhuggy lol!

Yes Alexsmum, I think it might be a good idea to get dh to talk to irritating little madam of a teacher (ooooh I want to shake her for you)

[HappyHuggy]

awww shit.

ive read it now.

sorry alexsmum,