Kids racist attitudes

[hercules]

I've been doing lessons this week with 16 year olds about racism and was shocked at their attitudes. A lot of them were openly racist and even after lots of discussion felt that their views were acceptable. It was deemed to be okay to be racist and not something they saw a need to change.
Lots admitted to getting their views from their parents who are very open about their racist views at home.
Made me feel really sad

[biglips]

as its very rare i see a black doll

[stitch]

there are some non white dolls out there. i thnk the main problem is the disney/hollywood idea of blonde being beautiful.
i think kids are very aware of differences between themselves. and when they are annoyed at a friend, they will pick on those differences. its up to the parents to sort this out imo

[gothicmama]

have had to spend time telling dd is beautiful even tho she is not blonde (this apparently was triggered by nursery teacher)It makes me so cross

[stitch]

most of the moms in the playground are all blonde. im sure they are not real, but obviously they think blonde is beautiful, so can you blame their daughters for thinking so?

[MunchedTooManyMarsLady]

My big kids are about to take me out to lunch so have no time to post just now. There's a lovely book about a black girl called Grace, I think it's Amazing Grace who is told by a girl at school that she can't be a princess or ballet star (sorry not read it for ages) because she is black. Might even be that she can't be Peter Pan. Anyway, will search it out on my return along with other titles and suggestions for you.

This is why black people complain of institutional racism. It is the stuff that can't be seen that is the most upsetting. It always used to be that the black guy in the movies always died first. My white friends didn't understand why it would annoy me. They used to say "but he's not the star" which was, I felt, the point. Of course these things change. Fairytales etc and a lot of the images around us show that to be pretty you need to be slim, blonde and have blue eyes. (Bound to be someone here who tells me about my chip, but I shall carry on). What we need to do is to surround ourselves and our kids with good images. Not just black people as singers and sports stars. The huge manufacturers are not really that bothered because the majority of their market is white and therefore why should they make extra effort. It's only in the last 5 years that black makeup became mainstream. Don't get me wrong, I'm not moaning about the state of affairs, just commenting on them. Black dolls etc are out there and available. There was a thread about ethnic toys just recently, so no-one has an excuse really not to have some resources. It is sad, but if we all teach our children how to be with others, and not just tolerance (which implies putting up with an unnatural state of affairs) then things will change. They will change slowly, but they will change (see, ever the optimist). The reason the kids don't know about Martin Luther King is because we hardly have room in the curriculum for "british" history, never mind anyone else's. If we want things to change then we have to be prepared to put ourselves out and effect change in our own homes and then trust that what our children have learnt will be shared so that those with children who do not get the same opportunities may have their lives changed in return.

BTW only skimmed the thread

[marthamoo]

My bf's little girl has a black Barbie. They are out there!

[gothicmama]

Mars lady as always you make so much sense- I strongly believe everyone should eb given positive staements as to who they are.

[marthamoo]

MTMML - it is Amazing Grace, by Mary Hoffman - it's a lovely book. She's also written An Angel Just Like Me, which is along similar lines - angels don't have to be white and fair haired (or even female!)

[MunchedTooManyMarsLady]

Thank you marthamoo. We have an Angel just like me. Beautiful book. We read it every Christmas

Have to wait for DS1 to have his bath before we go out, so I might have a quick look at some other book titles and links.

[nappybaglady]

Thanks Marslady and marthamoo for the book titles. Sounds like just what I need.

I still can't believe that my DD said what she said. Thankfully ( I don't think I made this clear) she just said it to me, before her friend came round. We talked about why all the princesses she knows are 'pink' but I told her that there are more 'brown' people in the world so more brown princesses in the world. She seemed to like this idea but it would be nice to have a book to'support' this.

I don't want to make a big deal out of it but it felt like a big deal to hear my sweet little girl saying such a thing. She will be getting a black doll to play with.

Thankfully when her friend came round to play later that day they did dress up as princesses without anything unpleasant being said, just lots of girly giggling which transcends race/colour/etc

[MunchedTooManyMarsLady]

hi nappybaglady. I haven't had time to sort out more titles for you, but I haven't forgotten. Will sort something this week and post on here for you. I've put this on my watch list but if I've not posted for a couple of days then bump it up, coz I'm always popping in.

Glad to hear that things went well. Don't worry too much, all kids say things that don't mean half of what we think it does.

[Tortington]

when the Oldham riots were in full swing a few years back my kids then in junior school camehome from school with some disgusting ideas. so i sat them down and told them our family history. and drew parallels between their "right" to be british and the right of the british asians they were taking about. i asked a very poinient question. how many generations born in england makes you english? where would you go back to now you have just found out you are part jew catholic italian irish and romany gypsy?

this made my children think. i think it could work on older children. asking them to research their family history for a few generations - then ask "what makes you british?" if you are british becuase you were born here then colour has nothing to do with it.

if their argument is that black or asian people are less important in some way then i would invite a black or asian speaker to school.

let us know how you get on.

[iota]

what about Pocahontas - she was a native american princess

[nappybaglady]

Thanks Marslady - I'll keep an eye on the thread.

[MunchedTooManyMarsLady]

been so busy that I haven't looked yet, then got caught up in the Vlost thread and now caught up in the black boys and education thread. Bad Mars Lady. here's something to start you off

[MunchedTooManyMarsLady]

Will add to my list. Have you tried the link below? They also do toys.

[Poshpaws]

My niece asked for a Black Action Man for her birthday about 6 years ago.

DH and I ended up going to Macro (could not find it in any standard toy shop) and even then ,it was a 'mate' of Action Man, not Action Man himself.

Still, she was very happy with it

[Poshpaws]

I also agree about toys for boys. MIL ALWAYS goes out of her way to find trucks, cars, etc with drivers who are both Black and White or just Black (DS is mixed race). Fine with Duplo (or whatever those Lego style toys are), but not so easy with other things.

[chipmonkey]

nappybaglady, don't feel so bad about your dd, she's only 4. At least it gave you an opportunity to discuss it and start to instil good values. I remember my brother at 3 saying "only mans can be vets" when I expressed an interest in being a vet. His 3 big sisters soon put him straight! In his defence, the only vets he had ever seen were men. In the same way, if your dd has never seen a black princess, the impression she has is that there are no black princesses. If you then make her aware that a princess CAN be black, then you're doing your job as a mum.

[milliways]

I remember feeling so sad when DD came home & told me that a friend had told her she shouldn't play with another friend - because that other friend was black! DD was upset & asked why someone would say this. I replied it was like saying "Don't play with DD as she has freckles". "I can't help that" she said, and the stupidity of it all sunk in with her. SHe happily went back to playing with her black friend, & I had a word with the Headteacher as these were Yr1's.