Having a school dilemma - moving schools but they can't both go to same school, what should I do?

[Rhubarb]

dd is 8 and ds is 4 so he'll be starting in Sept. For anyone who doesn't know, we are moving to Wiltshire from Cumbria next month. Now there is a brilliant school about a mile and a half away, excellent Ofsted, about double the size of dd's old school (so not very big still). I contacted them and they definitely have a place for dd, but not for ds.

So the question is, do I split them up, put dd into this good school and hope that a place becomes available for ds one day? Or do I keep them together and go for a nearer school but which has nearly 400 pupils and not so nearly as good a report?

Stuck on what to do.

[Rhubarb]

emailed you rach

[littlerach]

Rhubarb, which school are they?
Or what do they begin with?
Can do some nosing if you like, as Ofsted means bugger all half the time.

FWIW, I would pit dd in the best, and hope for space for ds later.
Plenty of poepl don't take up places by September.

After school clubs - the soft play centre has one whcih picks up form lots of schools.

I used to work in another one, will see if they are still going.

Email me if you'd prefer.

[Rhubarb]

She did, she had to start school in a foreign country where she didn't speak the lingo. Those were hard times. I cried every morning. She had to be wrenched from my arms, and her screams could be heard as I was walking across the playground.

Those memories still haunt me and I don't want to go through it again. Moving house is a big deal, they'll have only been there 2 weeks when they start new schools. I don't want to damage my kids anymore than I already have.

[pooka]

But presumably your dd had to start school on her own? Sorry if I sound over-blase about it, but lots of children (including most first borns) start school without a familiar face. DD knew 1 boy at the school she started at last year. It hasn't been a big problem.

[pooka]

I'd start dd at the preferred school.
DS as a sibling would be at or near the top of the waiting list for reception.
Enroll your ds at the other school, but plan to send him in January. He does not legally have to be at school until the term after he is 5. Hopefully a place will come up at preferred school by the time he is obliged to be in school.

[Rhubarb]

I know MrsHuffle, believe me I know. But then as others have said, he may not even be with dd anyway. These are big schools with nearly 400 kids in them. The reception kids probably have their own playground and I doubt he'll get to see dd, so they won't be able to draw comfort from each other.

Although tbh, when it comes to Sept, I may well hold him back until a place does become available. I really really don't want him to go to such a big school on his own. I couldn't do it to him.

[MrsFluffleHasAWuffle]

I'd not split them up, poor ds starting school on his own

[Rhubarb]

Ok, transfer form for dd was to be sent direct to the school. So I've written my best letter, handwritten (for extra merits) and sent it off. I've explained all about how dd started nursery in Preston, when was whisked off to France, did 2 years there then back to the UK, v v traumatised as she loved France and left her bestest buddies there, Cumbria for 2 years, never really settled and now moving again. Also how her and her little bro are very close, how he's had 3 nurseries, how I want them to be together but that this school would bring out the best in dd and ds and it's worth waiting for, in the case of ds.

I did think about including a naked pic of me but I thought that unfair as he'd only get obsessed.

We'll wait and see now.

[pootleflump]

Awful situation for you Rhubs , but I think you'd be doing the right thing in putting dd into the good school- I'm sure your ds will get a place soon enough.

[Rhubarb]

Just told the kids. ds looked like he was going to cry.

dd is worried about ds.

[Rhubarb]

Tried calling first school, left msg on answerphone.

You are right about the bigger school, they'd never see each other. The only other thing wrong with this one is that there are no after school facilities and if I'm working I will need those. Still, it's not like up here, I'm sure there are after school clubs that will pick up.

[suedonim]

I'd go for the better school and hope a place for ds came up. I'm sure it will eventually as people are always moving out of areas. If both dc are in the larger school, chances are, they'll barely see each other anyway.

Congrats on the move, btw - I like Wiltshire. Sadly, my friend has just sold her house there so no reason to visit the area now.

[Rhubarb]

[Rhubarb]

Thanks for good advice all!

[MABS]

look forward to meeting you Rhuby daaaarrnnn sarf

[Rhubarb]

Ok, plan is:

Apply for places for both at first choice school.
Phone school and ask to speak to head and explain that ds has had 3 different nurseries and I really want stability for him.
Offer to join PTA, bake cakes, give him blow job, etc.
If that fails, start ds in this other school but invite reception children of first school over on playdates so that he knows the children there and keep ringing to ask if a place has become available.

And pray a lot.

And drink wine.

A lot.

[Flum]

put him in the other one for a bit, kids very adaptable at young age.

[Rhubarb]

No flum, sorry.

Perhaps we should just do that then? Oh stop making me change my mind!

[Rhubarb]

I will.

Ok, what I might do is this. I might put on the forms that I want them both to go to this school, and put second choice as the other school. Then I'll ring the school every bleeding day. We visit the other school on the 3rd so we can have a good look round. If they still can't fit ds in at the start of the Sept term, erm, well what do I do then?

[Flum]

Well I think you should start them at different schools, he will get a place eventually, also you will get to know both schools, you might even like the nearby one more in the end. We did, even though not such good Ofsted rep. more room, lunch provided etc. near me then?

[hoxtonchick]

but people don't always take up their reception places -- they move, go private, change their minds. i reckon you'd be in with a chance of a reception place. just ring them every day!