Schooling in the UK

[1horatio]

Can somebody please explain me in an unbiased way how it works in the UK? What we should do? Or to a website that's unbiased and concise?

DH is great but just really biased. I'm not a fan of boarding schools. Not at all. For us it was common to have lunch at home, so the thought of a boarding school? But DH thinks it's the best?

DD is just 5 months. But we're currently trying for DC2, I'm thinking of accepting an other job offer so I'd really like to be able to plan.

I'd really appreciate your help.

[1horatio]

Seeing as I'm not English something international may be best...

Idk. I have to see if there are schools with a partner school in Switzerland or SouthernGermany, maybe? Or at least German classes?

I never thought this would be so complicated!

[1horatio]

scarlett

Ah, that makes sense. For me kindergarten was mandatory in the year I became 5 (if I recall). But I actually went to one that took children from 3 and up....

Ok. I think it may be starting to make sense. Slowly. Because I have the suspicion that if I'm not super involved with this DH will just do what he thinks is best, he'll certainly make a good choice, but he's just convinced that his will be the best.

I do wonder what slider went into him. He's usually so not like that. So focused on compromise and being open minded!

[TheMortificadosDragon]

One final piece of very odd terminology which I don't think anyone has yet mentioned - if you hear mention of 'public schools', whereas in the USA this quite logically means state schools, in the UK it refers to certain private schools. Some explanation here.

[1horatio]

spider not slider.

[poisonedbypen]

just because you are catchment doesn't mean you will get in. Catchment is the area where children can apply to the school as their local school and they take priority (can theoretically apply to any school from anywhere), but the distance to which they take children will be a lot less if the school is popular. I think all state schools have catchment areas?

[Noitsnotteatimeyet]

Most children go to nursery school of some sort at 3 but the first 'proper' year of school starts when they're 4 (reception). In both state and private schools the early years will be primarily play-based with both sectors following a pretty similar curriculum.

Most state schools are fine - and there are some excellent ones in London - and very few will have knife fights on a regular basis but they will have more children in each class, fewer teachers and support staff and usually not as much in the way of extra curricular stuff as private schools and often not as good facilities

If you have money, then it gives you access to a much wider choice of schools than if you don't ...

[1horatio]

dragon

Thanks, I know that. DH and I both had a moment when we were like: "Oh, so we both went to public school." "yes, I really appreciate that this models gives opportunities to everybody'". DH: "huh?!"

[1horatio]

not

Don't worry, I think DH is being suddenly just super duper concerned about our LO. It's kind of sweet? if he wasn't a bull-headed arse about it

I'd be surprised if knifefights were normal. And I think he secretly knows it as well and is just trying to make sure that we decide his opinion is the right one...

[Noitsnotteatimeyet]

There's always the German school in southwest London - fee-paying but very different from the English private school experience

[1horatio]

Ohhh! German school! Up to now I've only found one school with a sports and skiing campus in Switzerland. Which, well. Skiing. :/

I think it does have to be a school that is integrated in the British system. I mean, we are not planning on moving (but you never know). So, if a British Unis wouldn't accept the final diploma that would be an issue..

[TheMortificadosDragon]

I think all state schools have catchment areas?
Not sure faith schools do necessarily, or all grammar schools. (Selective state secondaries, not present in all regions OP). Admissions criteria for faith schools .... unless you're interested best not get started on those!

[ScarletSienna]

www.tatler.com/guides/schools-guide/2017/search?list=all&page=13

This shows just how diverse independent schools are. For example, Bedales is very different to Cheltenham College. If fee paying is an option, you can pick the school to suit your child's interests and personality.

[1horatio]

I actually expected to pay fees from the beginning. I'm not sure why... only through the discussions and DHs bullheadedness I really started to question that,

I'll check out that link. Thank you!!

[PhilODox]

If you don't take a place in London at 3yo, you're unlikely to get her in at 4, or 5. Schools fill up v quickly, and you should put her name down v soon. Independent schools don't have catchments. Most state schools don't have set catchments, rather it goes on PAN (how many children the school admits each year) and how close children live to the school.
Many independent schools are not co-ed, so be prepared for children in separate schools from being tiny.

[1horatio]

So.... providing that no currently unforeseen concerns arise:

• I think I'd expect something that would empower DD (and DC2, if we're blessed in that way) as a human and emphasise her worth as a person and foster independence. It seems like all girls schools are very well regarded for that?
  
• Something where teachers and parents work closely together if needed
  
• Academics are imo a priority in a school but sports should be really valued as well.

[ScarletSienna]

Book appointments for show rounds at a few. You'll get a feel for what you prefer I think.

[Noitsnotteatimeyet]

British universities have students from all over the world so they are used to French, German and other international qualifications (fingers crossed that doesn't change after brexit) . However the German school is usually used by families who want to stay in the German system for whatever reason so probably not what you're looking for.

I wouldn't discount co-ed schools - girls' schools, especially in London, can be a bit of a pressure cooker and don't always deal well with the rampant perfectionism which can be rife in that kind of environment

[famousfour]

Being in London, to keep your options open as others have mentioned it would make sense to put your child's name down for private pre-pre / prep schools that interest you locally asap. The most sought after ones in London will probably already have full lists (although there is some movement of course). You don't need to take the place up but will have at least the option to consider them further down the line.

[SallyGinnamon]

I don't know anything about London schools, but if you wanted to send DD to Hale Prep outside Manchester you'd need to put her name down pretty early. Might be the same in London.

[famousfour]

Also private entry at 4 can be either 'first come first served', assessment based (from those on the list usually) and I can think if at least one school with a lottery based entry system.

[1horatio]

fam

Lottery? Are they trying to be fair or are they trying to be quirky?
You can put your name down to as many as you're interested in, right? That's a great idea. Thanks you :)

sienna also a really good idea. Thanks :)!

borders yes, from what the posters said that seems to be the case in London as well. Being from a country where pretty much everybody goes to state schools (children used to ask me whether I was either 'stupid' or 'giftet' for not having done so... when no, my parents are just peculiar) this is a bit of a shock...

noit I'm not discounting co-ed schools. I didn't go to single sex schools. But I was in other single sex spaces and remember that I personally really thrived in these environments, idk. Thank you for your advice! :)

[TheMortificadosDragon]

You might not think so from MN and in particular relating to London, but the vast majority of British kids do go to state schools. If you were in a different part of the country and obviously if you couldn't afford fees, you'd be getting different advice.

[1horatio]

dragon

Really? That's not what I experienced at all. But I'm not doubting your statement.

Just googled it. Where I'm from apparently around 95% of children apparently go to state schools.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

It seems like all girls schools are very well regarded for that?

Not necessarily. Some all girls schools are good some not.

Here the mixed schools are loads better than the single sex schools.

[icanteven]

We moved to the private system from state school a couple of years ago and it's great, but now that we are moving to London, we are going back to the state system because we have realised that we can pick a flat literally overlooking the school we want (and a stone's throw) from our second choice. The school we want is incredibly highly regarded & there would be little point in going private if we got into this school.

So if you have time on your side, you might consider narrowing it down to a number of super-fab state schools in parts of London where you think you would like to live, find a house/flat practically in the playground of your favourite school & move.

Private fees in London are in the region of 18k a year (there's practically nothing for less) + bits and pieces, so for two children you are looking at about £500k.

Is that a manageable sum? You need to weigh that against the hassle of moving to your ideal school's catchment.