behaviour in state vs private

[ESTRO]

I have 3 kids and the eldest (girls) are happy and settled at our local state primary, my youngest is a boy due to start in 2014. Right from the start he has been more challenging, doesn't listen and can be quite naughty. He's bright but very 'can't be bothered not going to do it's
Private school is an option and I just wondered anyone with experience of both at primary level whether behaviour is better in the private sector, I suppose I think small class sizes must help a teacher keep a more wilful kid on track..? Any advice would be very helpful!

[musicalfamily]

well my daughter said that the low level disruption at a top rated selective school was continuous and much worse than in her state school. It's a shame people don't believe it on here, just because they believe the "can be asked to leave" comment.

The reality outside of London is that all selective or non selective schools are struggling. 5 years ago we went to that same schools and it was brimming with 22 children per class, this year when my daughter went there were 15/16 children per class. They are not going to ask a group of disruptive boys to leave are they, that would make the school not viable.

[exoticfruits]

It doesn't surprise me, musicalfamily, I know a school that was struggling financially and they wouldn't ask pupils to leave.

[handcream]

I live outside London (but still in the SE) and the schools my DS are going to are not struggling. You seen to indicate that if ONE child has problems that despite the fact that other parents will complain the school will keep the problem child. Not true. Best to upset one set of parents that potentially a whole load more.

[exoticfruits]

State schools have the whole range from excellent to dire- so do private schools.

[rabbitstew]

handcream - yes, surely that applies if there is one obvious problem child that everyone agrees is the problem, but not if there is low grade disruption and behind-the-scenes bullying, particularly in an area where there is no huge choice of alternative, affordable fee paying schools the other parents can threaten to send their children to, instead... It's not as if a school is going to want to quietly remove half of its entire intake, or respond to pressure from one gang of parents and then upset another faction who disagree with them...

I clearly remember a thread from a parent who was putting up with all sorts of cr*p from the school she was paying to send her children to: because it fed into the next school she really wanted her children to go to and she didn't want to jeopardise that place as she thought the senior school was much better; because there wasn't a nearby alternative; because they were quite dismissive when she did go in to talk about the issues (which was more to do with unacceptable behaviour of a couple of teaching staff than the other children); because other parents agreed with her but didn't want to rock the boat; and she didn't want her children to be picked on because she was seen as a problem mother. So much for the power of fee paying parents.

[handcream]

If I came across that situation Rabbit I would consider moving. I have a DS at a well known senior boarding school (its not for everyone) and another mother in the year below is insisting on sending her DS to the same school. She was trying to pick my brains regarding the ins and outs of the school. Her son is the least likely to get on with boarding. I feel so sorry for him, but when I suggested there were other options apart from boarding she said 'well what choice do I have'.

If my younger son didnt get on with boarding when the time comes I would move house - I wouldnt dream of saying - what choice do I have.

We all have choices. We arent superglued to our area and house. And what better reason to move than for the sake of your child.

[MangoJuiceAddict]

Depends on the schools in question, my DD(11) has attended a state primary and private prep school. The behaviour in the prep school was better- but I think that's because the teachers put more effort into the lessons at the prep school so the children enjoyed learning. At the state primary my DD did enjoy school and achieved, but as she is a quiet child she was often overlooked and so didn't actually enjoy learning, she just learnt because she knew she had to.