Shared motherhood through IVF

[Jazsimone]

Me and my wife are just beginning our journey to have a baby! As we both want to be involved we have opted for shared motherhood ( me,carrying my wife's egg, with doner sperm- this will involve us having ivf treatment) We have decided this so we are equally involved! Due to the lack of suitable sperm in this country we have been looking at the California Cryobank (we have found the PERFECT donor!) Just wondering if any other same sex couples have gone through the same treatment or have used the this sperm bank???

Any advise or help will be really appreciated

Thanks
J&D

[Lisamcentee]

Please get in touch with me so I can ask questions as I find all sites say different which is confusing and disheartening

[BKenny87]

Hi Sofia87

My wife and I are looking at shared motherhood as a potential option and we were looking at using Create Fertility Clinic in London. Really interesting to see the breakdown of costs, it's surprisingly hard to find clear information on this.

Do you know if there is a reduction in fees at this clinic if we to donate eggs in the process?

It would be great to hear more about your experience there and any advice you could give about the process in general. Doing the research pretty overwhelming! Hope it is going well for you 🙂

[RipleyintheDarkRoom]

@sofia87 thanks for getting back to me! It's probably gonna be a little way off yet, we're mainly trying to figure out our options at the moment.
Currently we're leaning towards shared motherhood with me donating my eggs to my wife. I'm also really keen on egg sharing if I can- I'd like to help someone in the way we are being helped if that makes sense.
If it's a few years down the line I will probably carry and hopefully still donate eggs.
It's so exciting but seriously confusing! I really appreciate your answer :) good luck to you too!

[sofia87]

Hi RipleyintheDarkRoom,
We bought a 3-cycle package, which means three rounds of egg collection, and with all the meds that cost around £14k. They offer you an option to pay monthly for a year which works out around £800 per month.
On top of that, the 3 vials of donor sperm (with delivery costs etc) cost us just under £3k.
Plus, depending on how many embryo transfers you're going to do (as only one transfer is included in the 3-cycle package), and each further one is about £1,300. We have done two now, and will be doing a third one soon... So all in all so far it's cost us around £19k.
It's expensive, but.... hopefully all worth it in the end! (I guess take it as practice of saving money before the baby comes!)

But then, if you go for a 1-cycle package, and get multiple embryos out of it, perhaps you won't even need a 3-cyxle package. Then it won't cost as much (I think around £6-7k per one egg collection cycle).

Good luck! And I'd love to know what you decided to go for in the end.

[sofia87]

Hi Jazsimone, sorry about a late reply. So glad to learn about your baby boy, really happy for you!

I did get pregnant on the second frozen embryo transfer, but unfortunately the little one didn't make it past 7 weeks. We had 3 scans, on the first and second he was there and growing, but very slowly. He was smaller in size then normal, and the heart beat was weak. So on the third scan (I was 9 weeks), they confirmed that the pregnancy was not viable anymore. The embryo stayed the same size as last time and uterus was collapsing, and there was no heartbeat.
I am now going through a medicated miscarriage (not a pleasant experience!).

We're going to start with our next round of IVF in a few months, so fingers crossed for the next one.

[RipleyintheDarkRoom]

Sorry for jumping on this older thread, I know I'm probably breaking forum rules somewhere 🙈
Can I be really cheeky and ask for a ballpark all in how much you spent doing shared motherhood? Me and my partner are wanting to go this route but we're struggling to get an answer. We would be looking at using Cryo sperm bank too

[Jazsimone]

Hi Sofia
I know it’s a bit late but I hope everything has gone well with your treatment so far!
I are happy to say that we have a beautiful 2 month old son, who has filled our hearts with joy!
We didn’t use the same clinic as you, we went to London’s women clinic on Harley Street!
We used Cryos, and they were absolutely fantastic. It’s expensive but completely worth it! We actually trialed the avevivo device which we have just received the article for today.

www.londonwomensclinic.com/fertility-treatments/anevivo-shared-motherhood/

Wishing you all the best
Xxx

[sofia87]

Hi everyone, I know this post has gone quiet for a few months, but it was good to read about all of your experiences, to know that others out there are going through similar journeys. I just wanted to share the journey my partner (40) and I (32) are on.

We have also decided to go down the shared motherhood route. My partner donated the eggs, and I will be the carrier. We have gone with Create Fertility Clinic in London, as they offer a natural approach to IVF (less drugs involved). We chose our sperm donor from the Cryos International bank in Denmark, as they offer quite a big profile, a handwritten letter, a voice recording and a baby/toddler photo of the donor. That's more than the UK banks offer we heard, so it suited us. Our clinic also works closely with that sperm bank, so the relationship was easy to manage.

We had our initial consultation back in February this year, however due to various delays (personal circumstances), we only got round to the first egg extraction back in July. We went for a 3-cycle package (as it was cheaper, almost 3 for the price of 2, and due to my partner's age, and general success rates). However we decided to do one extraction (we got 6 eggs, 2 of which became good quality embryos), then do a transfer. If that doesn't work, we'll go for the next extraction. We thought, no point extracting all those eggs if I get pregnant the first or second time round.

So now the time has finally come for the transfer which I'll be having next Tuesday, 5th Nov. Fingers crossed at this stage.

If anyone wants to know anything else about our experience with the clinic or the sperm bank, more than happy to share!

P.S. Jazsimone - congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything has gone well?

[JessWR]

I just wanted to say hi so I didn’t feel weird having read all your posts, I am on day 5 stim and donating to my partner so fingers crossed she can carry our baby. She’s had 2 failed IVF’s trying to use her own so really hoping my eggs will do the trick this time. X

[Jazsimone]

Aww I am so sorry for your loss.... gosh work work work, when does it bloody end! We are both over the moon, today for me is week 6... next week we get to go for an ultrasound, which we are both very much looking forward too .... I literally have everything crossed for you both, just take it east and try (TRY) not to stress
❤️

[Nemo1189]

Sorry for the slow reply, I’ve had a very hard days Lost my lovely nan and have been working non-stop. Massive congrats to you ladies!! Bfp! How amazing, I bet you are both over the moon! Will you be able to have an early detection scan? We are both fine at this end, looking to start our transfer in the next few weeks. Praying we get a bfp too! 💜

[Jazsimone]

Hey @nemo1189 sorry it’s been a while
Been really busy and work and have just been trying to manage my stress levels.

Test day was on 1st Feb BFP 👶🏽
(We did a test 8dp5dt and it was a BFP then aswell) we went for my blood test and my hcg levels were 324 eeekkkkk it’s so so real now!
My progesterone levels have gone right up so they are adjusting my medication now. 👍🏽 I have been getting cramping and a stretching feeling, I never got any spotting, over the past few day I have a real heightened sense of smell and taste.
So we will be 5 weeks pregnant on Wednesday...

How are you both? When do you go in for your transfer?
❤️

[Nemo1189]

I hope all is well with you. Have you been getting any symptoms? When is your test day? X

[Nemo1189]

Wow..great news, 8 is a great number. You’ve hit the jackpot with your first round! How’s your wife feeling, no OHSS I hope! Fingers crossed you get a big fat positive!! I look forward to hearing your results :D I will keep you posted, so nice to talk to others in the same position

X

[Jazsimone]

Thank you ... yeah it is very strange, I went back to work today so had to slow myself down a bit and not get so stressed ☺️ We have 8 frozen ... we have been very lucky for our 1st round of Ivf! Today someone was talking about pregnant people and it actually clicked “shit that’s me” 🥰
Please keep me posted on when you go for you transfer lovely!
❤️

[Nemo1189]

Amazing news, I bet it feels so strange to think there’s a little eggie on board. Now for the dreaded 2 week wait! 4?! 4 beaver bullets now that is so serious dedication to the cause how many have you managed to freeze? Congratulations you are now pregnant until proven otherwise! I hope this little one sticks for you. Fingers crossed. We are still waiting and waiting and yet more waiting, just want to get one on board. X

[Jazsimone]

Hey @nemo1189
Everything went well, one perfect little embryo on board... seems odd being able to bring it home ❤️ So I was told that my progesterone levels are low so I need an injection to boost it.. I have had to take 4 (yes I repeat FOURRRR) pessaries today! Going to speak to the clinic on Wednesday to see what is going to happen .. but
We are both over the moon! How is your situation going?
❤️

[Nemo1189]

I hope all went well for you today 💜

[Jazsimone]

Love and best wishes to you both ❤️

[Nemo1189]

Hey, wow amazing news! 11 is great fingers crossed they keep developing until transfer on Monday, 11 is a great number just in case you loose some before Monday you have plenty of little eggies to fall back on . Good luck for the transfer Monday, I bet you both are so excited. I bet they were pleased it’s a great number of eggs! Beaver bullets are certainly...something else . Yes, the wife is all ok back to her normal self, we are just ready to get one of our little eggies back on board. So much waiting around in this process. Love and best wishes to you both. 💜

[Jazsimone]

Heyyy, so wifey went and had the anecova device taken out and we had 30 mature eggs and we now have 11 fertilised eggs 👶🏽 Literally over the moon. Obviously wasn’t hoping for 11 babies but it’s a possibility now! We are having a fresh cycle, I am booked in on Monday to have them transferred and then it’s my turn to shine. The all the member of the clinic have said
Well done on the amount of eggs collected and the maturity of them all!
The beaver bullets we aren’t they a treat 😂
I hope your wife is okay, not much longer and you both will be having your transfer too.
❤️

[Nemo1189]

Wow! 33! Congrats that’s an amazing number, and I thought we had a lot with 21! I bet your clinic were so pleased with the number. I bet you’re both so nervous to know how many fertilised, will they ring you tomorrow to let you both know? Will you be having a fresh transfer? Looking likely it will be mid feb for our frozen transfer, the wife needs to have a period and then phone the clinic on the first day of it so we can get the medication delivered so looking at mid-feb for one of our little eggies to go back in. so pleased for you both! Looking forward to hearing an update

[Jazsimone]

Heyyy, everything went really well, sedation completely knocked out wifey so she was in no pain at all.... they collected 33 eggs 🥰 we were so shocked! They have told us the precautions of OHSS, but everything seems so promising! Any idea when your transfer will be @nemo1189
❤️

[jessstan2]

Nemo, I only scanned the first post before. I had the idea that somehow a man was carrying his wife's egg with donor sperm and couldn't get my head round it. Now of course I realise it is a same sex couple - both are women. Phew!

[Jazsimone]

Beaver bullets .... I will use that 😂 yes we used the exact same, so I fell to sleep at 10pm and had to wake up at 11:30pm to give my wife the shot ( I was so tired, I shouldn’t have been in charge) I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember doing it 😕 so egg collection is tomorrow morning! It’s all getting so exciting!

Will let you know how many eggies we collect...
have a great day!
❤️