Fathers Access Rights Advice

[ShiningStar1990]

Hi all,

Need some advice from any fathers or anyone really who have or are going through being denied access to your child after a separation.
My partner and his ex separated at the beginning of this year. She was abusive, was not a nice person so he left. Me and him met a few months later and we are now together, his ex has hit the roof and has been nothing but a pain in the
a$$ since we got together. She believed he would always go back and now he has moved on she is not happy. Anyway they have a 3 year old daughter together and she has 3 children from a previous marriage.

So at the start he would see his daughter once a week and also take her 3 children out at the same time for tea. After a couple of weeks she stopped him seeing their daughter until she was over them breaking up, then a week later she changed her mind and agreed to let him see her and they agreed he would have her every other weekend. He pays her maintenance monthly without fail. She has always been the one to lay down the rules and has done everything in her power to try and cause issues in his life hoping it will affect us. She has said as long as he keeps paying maintenance everything will be fine....

Well this hasn't been the case and now she has decided again that he isn't allowed to see his daughter. She has taken her on holiday for a week to Turkey and is due back today. He hasn't seen his daughter for 2 weeks and only got to see her for an hour under the condition he takes her 3 children out with him as well. Prior to this he last spent quality time with her on Easter weekend.

If he contacts her about access she tells him how it is, shouts and screams at him and she blocks his number and he has no way of contacting her. He is at breaking point as he has done everything he can to try and deal with it outside of solicitors and courts as with how expensive it is.

Does anyone have any advice please? We are st a loose end of what to do.
A father has just as much right to their child as a mother.

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

And if anyone I had been dating a couple of months started making suggestions about my contact arrangements with my ex I would run a mile!!

[ShiningStar1990]

As you can clearly see I am not arranging nor assisting, I am obtaining advice from others who have been in the same situation.

I am trying to help him obtain as much information as possible. This means getting advice from people who have been in the situation.

Courts, mediation etc is traumatic for all so to try and deal with it outside of this is the first port of call from any solicitor, this he has already been told. Solicitors will give him 30 minutes advice, mainly costs etc, HE contacted justice for fathers and ginger bread they have told him that it rarely goes to court and other routes will be taken first. They have suggested he liaise with his ex girlfriend not wife outside of courts solicitors etc. Try and set up an agreement.

Me asking for advice from people who have been through it is not me doing the work for him.

God help any man who is or becomes your partner, he doesn't stand a chance with bitter women like you.

Why is it so wrong that a man is fighting to see his child? Not all men are the same, you clearly have no clue if you think they are and this is coming from a woman.

[ShiningStar1990]

@isitbetter

Thank you for your helpful advice. Really appreciate it.

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

God help any man who is or becomes your partner, he doesn't stand a chance with bitter women like you.

Stand a chance at what? Being mummied by me? You’re right about that.

Why is it so wrong that a man is fighting to see his child?

where on earth did I say anything about him being wrong? I said he should be getting all this information himself. Which he should, and very clearly is according to your last post, which confuses me even more about why you also need to get advice for this situation when the Man involved already has it!

Not all men are the same, you clearly have no clue if you think they are

What on Earth are you on about? I haven’t said anything about men!

[bluebluezoo]

Firstly, he does not have rights to see his child.

The child has the right to a relationship with her father

The ex is interfering with her childs rights, not her ex’s. May seem like semantics, but getting into this headspace puts the childs needs centre, rather than making it a tug of war over adults wants. It also makes it clearer to the mum and the courts that she is doing this to her child, not her ex.

Secondly, if he thinks the ex is genuinely abusive, he should not be scared to apply for main residence. Again it’s what is best for the child, not an automatic child stays with mum.

Lastly, he needs legal advice.

[NotBeingRobbed]

God help any man who is or becomes your partner, he doesn't stand a chance with bitter women like you.

Hahahahahahahah!

[Yellowshirt]

Some people on here are just absolutely horrible. A person has asked for advice and they get abused.
I'm a dad in a similar situation. I'm being constantly stopped from spending time with my 13 year daughter.
Some people on here saying I don't care enough if I don't pay for a solicitor??? Have you ever considered that not everyone has thousands in savings. Some people may be on minimum wage working long hours etc etc...
@shiningstar1990 there are some good and helpful people on here who will give you great help and tell you what forms and stuff to fill in. Please let me no if you make any progress as I'm struggling nearly 11 months into a separation. I'm claiming to be a brilliant dad and I make mistakes every single day in my life but like your partner I just want to be a part of my daughters life and it's breaking me.
I also contacted fathers for justice but they are of little help and basically said they weren't interested in my case.
I've not heard of ginger. Were they helpful?

[ShiningStar1990]

Thank you for your support. Its terrible you're having to go through this.

Ginger bread suggest to work through differences outside of solicitors first, if this does not work then you're entitled to 30 minute free initial appointment. Through this they will discuss the route to take along with costs.

I hope things work out for you. I will let you know how my partner gets on. You're not alone as many men and women go through this to be able to see their child and for their child to see them.

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

A person has asked for advice and they get abused.

OP certainly was not abused on this thread are you mixing up the OPs posts with people who have responded? She is the one name calling.

[MrsBertBibby]

you're entitled to 30 minute free initial appointment

Is that a fact?

[ShiningStar1990]

Yes it is a fact, solicitors give 30 minutes free to give you basic advice and then you decide where you want to go from here.

[MrsBertBibby]

Well some may, although there are seminars we go on to teach us how not to give advice in 30 minute free appointments.

There is no entitlement to a solicitor's time, however. Especially for free.

I donate some time to give advice, but no one is entitled to it.

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

Some solicitors offer it, some don’t. They’re under no obligation.

[ShiningStar1990]

Well either way you can get free advice from some solicitors, basic advice but its advice which is better than nothing.

[nannytothequeen]

Op, I agree with the other posters who are saying that your partner should pursue this through legal routes. He needs to show his ex and his child that he is serious and committed to the relationship with his daughter. Otherwise I advise you to step right into the background and refrain from calling others bitter. Some people are entirely entitled to that feeling given how they have been treated. Also you are quite free with your accusations of abuse. You only know his side of the story and you are way too emotionally involved. This not your narrative. Keep out of it.

[ColaFreezePop]

OP you are better of paying for an hour of an experienced solicitor's time with a list of questions you want answered after doing some research. You may actually find a solicitor charges you less for doing this.