I wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who has separated from their DH during pregnancy? I am nearly 33 weeks pregnant now. About 6/7 weeks ago DH has started staying out late after work then one night he didn't come home. I confronted him the next day and he told me he felt differently about me. We agreed to try at our marriage and we did for a couple of weeks then his behaviour became erratic again. I thought he was having a crisis, tried to be sympathetic but to no avail. 3 weeks ago he said he wasn't prepared to try and offered to move out, I decided to leave because at 30 weeks pregnant felt it wasn't safe to be living on my own, under great stress with my family an hour away so went to stay with my mum. I suspected another woman but he has denied it, however the quick change in his behaviour has made me suspicioius. The baby was planned and he was excited about it up until about 23/24 weeks when he just withdrew emotionally completely from me and was 'working late' a lot. I was signed off work for 2 weeks but am now back until i leave to have the baby on 5th dec.
In the meantime he has given notice on our rented house without telling me, the tenancy was in his single name. All my things are still there, I only have clothes at my mums. He has let our joint account become 2000 overdrawn. Luckily I had taken some money beforehand and put it in my own bank account and he said he would pay the rent for the house etc. However his salary wasn't paid into the joint account this month and the rent has come out leaving it overdrawn. I have everything I need for the baby, but he doesn't know this, I have asked him to contribute but he has said that paying for the house is too expensive and he won't be able to. However he is not paying for the house, he has let that come out of the joint account so the debt is in my name too. I'm calling the bank today to freeze the account. I should have done this sooner stupidly.
We had agreed before I got pregnant that I would be a SAHM for a couple fo years because of childcare costs and he would support me and my job is a fixed term contract which will end on 5th dec. I will only be eligible for maternity allowance, this is only 550 a month and only lasts for 40 weeks. My mum has said I can live with her indefinitely but need to pay 500 a month rent to enable her to pay the mortgage as she is in arrears and was going to sell up but has now had to delay that so I can stay with her.
I'm seeing a solicitor at lunchtime today to see what my options are. Obviously he will owe me child support but I'm going to need spousal support too and I understand this is quite difficult to get and I need it quickly. I know he has sought legal advice too as one of the solicitors I called couldn't see me as he was on their books. He has been more organised than I thought and obviously planning this for a while.
Obviously I'm devastated by this turn of events, we were together for 8 years and our second wedding anniversary is in 2 weeks. Our baby was planned and I thought he wanted a family but he's changed his mind and thinks because this is how he feels that its ok to treat me like this when I'm 8 months pregnant.
So really I'm just looking for others in a similar situation, please tell me this will all be ok?!
Divorce/separation during pregnancy
Saraswati · 05/11/2014 11:08
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