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two year separation divorce defended

33 replies

amanda276000 · 31/01/2014 08:56

Me and my fiance started our relationship after he separated with his ex wife a bit more than 2 years. We have been planning for marriage but couldn't until his divorce is done. He contacted his ex-wife to ask her to sign the paper, but she didnt. He filed the petition recently and waiting for the court's response. His ex wife has been making it very difficult. how long would it takes for this to end? we are in long distance relationship, and see each other only every 2 or 3 months. it has been very stressful knowing what is happening. can anyone give me some advice on it?

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amanda276000 · 03/02/2014 01:28

Is 2 years the general lead time for a divorce case in UK? I think our relationship will be really a problem if it takes two years as we are not in the same country. And we need this marriage certificate for anyone of us to settle in each other's country? Would it be shorter? He said that according to his solicitor, the case would take about 6 months. Would this be possible?

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WanderingAway · 03/02/2014 07:21

I think it all depends on the divorce.

Do both parties agree to the divorce, is there any assets to be divided up, do both parties agree on what assets each person gets, are there any children, do both parties agree on a custody arrangement and maintenance.

If both of your partner & his ex can agree on all those things it could possibly be quicker however going to court can take time. It can be weeks/months between each hearing.

wannaBe · 03/02/2014 09:51

laura, a petition of unreasonable behaviour still has to be answered by the other party though. Technically, you can divorce for unreasonable behaviour, but either the other party needs to confirm (in writing) that they do not defend the claims (i.e. that they accept the petition) or they can defend the claims, in which case there is a chance the courts will not allow a divorce on those grounds.

It really is not as simple as just filing for a divorce for unreasonable behaviour, until parties have been separated for five years, both parties do need to be involved, even if it is only for the other party to say that they accept the petition (as is also the case with adultery). The other party is totally within their rights to contest a divorce petition on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, and if that happens it will go to court and take much longer to go through and be very expensive for the petitioner, because it is down to the petitioner to prove his/her claims of unreasonable behaviour and convince the courts to grant the divorce.

Op - every divorce is different, but it really depends on the circumstances e.g. finance/assets/children etc. Typically an uncontested divorce takes between six/twelve months to go through but there are no hard and fast rules....

amanda276000 · 03/02/2014 13:50

Thank you wannaBe. I think I need to be prepared now. It's really frustrating

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DontmindifIdo · 03/02/2014 14:03

OP - I'm not sure about the legal side, and it reads like you've had some very good advice, but more importantly, the emotional side seems to be setting off alarms, you are planning on marrying a man who you don't know that well, and don't know well enough to know if he's lying to you. And he's prepared to lie about something this big, what else has he lied about? (or exaggerated, or minimised, or just not informed you if not 100% lied).

Will you be starting married life always wondering if he's being honest with you? Will you be starting married life in another country, with no support network, and your right to be in the country linked to your marriage to him? that's not a recipe for success.

Is it really not possible for one of you to get a 6 month visa for the other country to work and get to know each other a bit better, have chance to find out if you can make it work? You will be taking a lot on trust, you are going to be making masive changes to be with a man who has proved you can't trust him. Think very carefully, better the embarrassment of splitting up after annoucing an engagement than spliting up after a marriage and given up everything for him.

LauraBridges · 03/02/2014 14:04

yes, but if you contest unreasonable behaviour you just about always lose so it in divorce on demand after a year of marriage BUT and it is a big but the other person can really string it out if they want to and take ages, that's true.

Ours took 7 months, both had lawyers (we were living together) and we reached agreement between each other about the money side. Many divorces take a lot longer.

amanda276000 · 03/02/2014 18:15

DontmindifIdo, I was mad and couldn't think properly at first, but I have calmed down after reading all the advice given. i thought I know him well as we stayed in the same house in UK for about two years from 2004 to - 2007. But people may change after so many years. It's not possible for him to get a more than one month visa to my country. I can get visa to UK, but quite impossible to get few months off from my work.

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amanda276000 · 03/02/2014 18:22

Accordingly to him, his wife asked for £20K+ to sign the consent on two year separation ground, but he didn't agree. Then he went for unreasonable behavior.

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