Post-natal depression in men

[pixieears32]

Hello, I am writing an article about the prevalence of post-natal depression in men and was wondering if anyone here had any experience of it and would be willing to share their views on it. Thank you

[OnYerBikePan]

Gaz - If you don't like anyone in disagreement with your observations, even from a random on the internet, then look away now.....



I am mightily about this. A HV/Counsellor cannot diagnose you with anything. One dr, from the sound of it, has made that view. To compare in any way the hormonal, physical, emotional and mental volcano that pregnancy and child birth can be (esp the first born) for women with dad's struggles to cope with that change (without under-estimating that effect) is slightly risible. I'd probs go along with 'paternal depression' if and when it hits and all assistances should be offered, including meds if appropriate.
the nct article sort of tries to mash the two in a cack-handed way.

and of course as has been said, coming onto a pre-dominantly female site and not expecting at least lots of sucking-in-through-teeth is remarkably naive.

Really, best of wishes to you and your family and hope things get progressively more manageable for you all.

[Fatheroftoo]

I hear you gazsm, glad you are getting some help. Nobody chooses to be depressed, we all would just like to bounce out of bed filled with joy at the prospect of a day full of mind numbing child care.
However somethings we don't feel that way and despite our best " coping" strategies need some external help.
Well done on getting some, getting a label usually is also of benefit as in the NHS you are sometimes ignored till you have one.
The fact that someone on here doesn't agree is irrelevant.
I don't like east Enders, perhaps many here do, maybe they find it helps as the plot is so depressing it makes their lives seem rosy.
It makes me feel like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
My point being, we're all different, have different coping strategies etc. but all need help some days, might just be a cup of tea from a friend, might be a prescription.
Good luck

[gazsm]

Thank you ricketytickety your post means alot.

[ricketytickety]

or male pnd

It's really not 'taking from us'. My partner watched our ds being (successfully) resuscitated whilst the midwife blocked my view. He has that image burned into his brain. I was protected from that to a certain extent. Those 5 minutes and the following week of uncertainty and dread were far more traumatic than actually giving birth.

Thankfully we both bonded well with baby, he recovered quickly and we talked and talked and talked with each other, consultants, midwives, nurses, obstercians etc and so escaped depression despite ongoing anxieties. We both suffered in equal measure, tho my dp is the one who has that traumatic image to remember.

So hormones or not, in some circumstances a difficukt preg, birth, hospital stay, problems after in the home can all lead to depression for mum or dad.

Maybe it would be better to call it male pnd to distinguish from the possible hormonal influence in some women who suffer pnd.

Personally I think it's splitting hairs because it amounts to the same thing, tho some women have psychotic symptoms. We're all people trying to do our best. If calling it pnd gets a man the support he needs, then why argue about what it's called? Especially if it is depression caused by a difficult birth/preg/after birth. What else would it be called?

[ricketytickety]

And here is nct talking about pnd in men www.nct.org.uk/parenting/postnatal-depression-dads

sometimes called paternal depression

[ricketytickety]

Men do suffer if a birth is traumatic. They see what's happening to their child in more detail. Both parents experience the event, so both can get traumatised. And if the whirlwind continues with the pressure of raising twins I can see how things don't get worked through and resolved and can then turn into anxiety then depression. I'd say pnd is an acceptable term because the depression is a result of the birth and following anxieties. Your blog post is something other men will recognise aswell as some women too.

mind suggests different causes for pnd, not all caused by hormonal changes www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression/#.VzbPJJErJdg

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

Calm? Gaz, if my posts are upsetting you so much I suggest you take a break. You're projecting a lot of things on to me. I'm surprised that you weren't prepared for a response when you came into a primarily female site for parents and claimed to have PND but in case you were that naive - maybe this isn't the place for you. I say that because of your clearly fragile state and the fact that you didn't sleep apparently because a stranger you have never met thinks men don't get PND.
I'm perfectly calm, I'm not attacking you, I am sympathetic with your depression and the challenges of raising 3 young children etc but I don't think you have PND as that's a condition that specifically relates to depression experienced by women after giving birth.

[gazsm]

umbongo sarcasm is understandable

However yes while not physical for me the trauma was emotional and mental.

[gazsm]

Maybe you dont think you are. But i didnt sleep last night because of your comments.

Im not saying any more to you on either post as its upsetting me too much.

Hope you calm down soon.

[UmbongoUnchained]

Must be so difficult for you recovering from the trauma of birth

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

Part of what problem? Attacking? I'm neither.

[gazsm]

Because jon my gp, hv and councillor have diagnosed me. Im not the hp am i?

And if you think im trying to take this from woman you are deluded. Why would i want PND. Im falling to pieces and trying to rebuild. Your constant denial is not helping.

Why keep attacking me? #partoftheproblem

[UmbongoUnchained]

Agree Jon.
Is this yet another thing men are trying to take from us?

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

I disagree with the change in definition of PND to include depression in men. I'm sure many health visitors and psychiatric professionals will too.
I don't know why you must insist that you have post natal depression rather than simply depression!

[gazsm]

Because thats what I've been diagnosed with. Why cant you understand that.

I didnt want to accept that. But finally i have but its you that doesn't want me to.

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

You have depression. It's not post natal depression. Post natal depression doesn't mean depression contracted after becoming a parent. Why are you coopting the language of a female experience when you really don't need to? You can talk about your experience of depression and your identity crisis following your children's births but you don't need to call it post natal depression. So why are you insisting?

[gazsm]

Natal - of or relating to birth.

Im not missing anything dr jon

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

Dunno
Anyone can complete the Edinburgh pnd scale and come out with a high score but unless you've recently given birth to a baby it's not post natal depression
Natal is the key part that you're missing

[gazsm]

Well ive be diagnosed with it and am having treatment. So why would the drs tell me that.

[GretchenBeckett]

I agree with Jon completely

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

It's just not post natal depression though. It's a completely different condition.

[gazsm]

Apology accepted tiggy the original poster is the article writer not me. Im just overly emotional

[gazsm]

I thought the same. But all the proffesionals i have talked to refer to it as PND. Its depression after birth. I think the post natal part is the highest hurdle to get over.

Its not as physical but its still emotional and hormonal for the men too.

[DiggersRest]

Good post Jon. PND affects women. Depression in men due to change in circumstances after a baby should not be labelled PND.

[JonSnowsBeardClippings]

Men don't get post natal depression, it's a specific condition related to the physical, hormonal and emotional impact of pregnancy and birth. They may get reactive depression following the life changing event of having a baby mind you.