Has anyone else given up on home schooling

[nikkijr1990]

First six weeks all was well, was getting a decent amount of work out of DS1 (year 4) but the last few weeks things have got progressively worse. This week we have done next to nothing. The arguments and stress of it was getting out of hand and also trying to take care of DD (seven months) has added pressure! Just wondered if anyone else's children had lost all enthusiasm for homeschooling as I'm feeling rather crappy about It!

[Puffthemagicdragongoestobed]

My two only do school work in order to earn their screen time, otherwise it wouldn't be happening. Have had a lot of arguments with my 6 year old this week, so much so that most of the times I would give up and take her out on a bike or scooter rid instead.
Her year 5 brother has some SEN and needs constant guidance through the tasks, otherwise it all turns into a mess and he doesn't actually learn. So her school work becomes an no afterthought.
And I am a SAHM!

[nikkijr1990]

I'm so glad I asked now! You have all mostly made me feel so much better and not a complete failure ! I do understand this is not school and I am not a teacher! I just can't keep having arguments about it it's affecting our relationship! Luckily he's a relatively bright boy and when he does do work doesn't seem to struggle with what he's doing ! I think we will just try and enjoy half term then start again!

[nikkijr1990]

And I can definatly relate to a lot of your struggles you have mentioned in this post! Thank you all

[pfrench]

Loads of teachers I know have given up home schooling their own kids.

In primary, if kids came back able to talk about a book they loved reading, to do the times tables (with division facts too) for their year groups, tell the time and understand a bit about handling money/working out change etc, I'd be bloody thrilled.

[peoplepleaser1]

Very different for a Y8 maybe. I've set some simple rules, half an hour of free time after getting up and then all work done before doing anything involving electronics. He doesn't always crack on straight away and that's fine, but because he wants to use his phone or xbox he tends to get in with it early in the day.

He is supposed to do 4 hours of school work but usually gets everything done considerably more quickly than that. He works for about an hour and then he has a 10 minute break.

We go over the work in the evening and sometimes he has redone things after this or the next day. This has become necessary as most of his teachers are not marking his work.

The rest of the day he has a pretty free reign but cooks a few evenings a week, walks the dog, makes the lawn and goes for a run as well as the inevitable screen time.

He didn't like it to start with but I found that standing firm was effective. I don't think I'm a particularly strict parent, but I learned early in that in DS' case, picking my battles and sticking to my guns worked.

I've also been relaxed about bedtime to a point as he does tend to chat to mates late at night and that feels like a valuable opportunity to be sociable.

[FurForksSake]

I was really hit and miss at the beginning as the school haven't really asked us to do anything. But then I realised we were in this for the long haul and oak academy started. He really enjoys that (year two) and my four year old does bits and pieces, we practice phonics, number stuff and play.

It is hard but I was really worried about him going back and being behind.

[0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h]

Can you try five minutes bursts of

Twinkl PowerPoint
Phonics bloom
Hit the button
Education
School run
Mathletics
Starfall

[nikkijr1990]

Yes good idea! Thanks for the suggestions! You might be right short sharp bursts !

[TimeWastingButFun]

Ours grumble and groan and give us 1001 reasons why they shouldn't do 'homework' (even though it's actually schoolwork and they get shedloads of time off!) We've been down to two hours a day absolute max for ages now. Some of their friends are doing 4-5 hours, so feeling a bit crap about that. They're keeping up with the work but I'm so fed up with the daily battles! We'll probably give them the week off next week in the hope that we can get back to it with more enthusiasm in June. So much respect for teachers - getting 30 of them to do 6 hours??!!

[Bluewarbler27]

Weeks ago. My daughter works well but my son doesn’t bother no matter how much I badger him. He does a bit of maths daily 🙄

[rawlikesushi]

I'm a teacher, and my school provides 3 hours of work per day. It is a difficult balance because half of the parents are clamouring for more and half are telling me they're stressed by it all. I've opted for providing it, for those that want it, and making it clear that there is no pressure to do anything.

Out of my class of 35, about half are submitting everything, and the rest submit one lesson per day. I only have one child who isn't submitting anything.

I'm really sad to hear so many are struggling to motivate their children to stay engaged. What I wanted to add was that schools do not expect you to be teachers. We know you are stressed and busy. The work should be things that your child can access independently, or a recapping of previous learning. It should require a few minutes to 'set them up ' and then they should be able to complete it largely unsupervised. If that isn't the case, I'd suggest contacting the school for advice - it may be that your child could be sent the work for the year below, for example. Certainly, the school need to hear your feedback. It might be that a call from their teacher would help with motivation.

But, unless your child is very young, I do think that no engagement with learning whatsoever for a potential six months is a bad idea for your child. It will make the eventual return so much harder. Even if you can only do some reading and maths, say one hour per day, it would pay dividends.

Teaching your child that kicking off and causing a fuss gives them what they want - no work - is not great. Work out the best time for your family - an hour first thing, four 15 minute sessions - and make screen time (or whatever they love) dependent on their best efforts.

I know how important mental health and wellbeing is, especially at this time. But doing nothing is just kicking the can down the road imo.

[nikkijr1990]

Rawlikesushi by no means do I plan on giving up completely but we've defiantly had to take a time out to re group! And yes my son is completely capable of completing most of the work independently in theory but the reality of getting a bored and lonely 9year old to sit at the table and work is completely different, the novelty of being home has completely worn off he misses his friends and school. I can't say I don't understand why he's feeling that way because if I'm honest I've lost a lot of motivation that I had in the early weeks! This isn't how we are supposed to live our lives ! I don't think it's a case of him thinking if he kicks up a fuss he can get his own way I think it's more a case of recognising that he's hit a mental wall and pushing and pushing is only causing stress and anxiety and it's time to take a breather!

[rawlikesushi]

Well it is half term, so hopefully a little breather will help as you say.

Has he tried FaceTiming his friends so that they can all complete their work together? I know some of mine do that and parents say it has really helped. I know that six of mine complete their maths together on a group chat every morning, for example.

It is very hard.

[nikkijr1990]

Rawlikesushi that's a good idea hadn't thought of that! Thank you!

[ohmyword20]

Our 10yo is self sufficient and he is doing his with no supervision. 8yo does something every few days, but isn't interested. 5yo is not doing anything at all school related. We're both wfh full time. I gave up worrying about it around 4 weeks ago.

[midnightstar66]

DD10 is getting on with hers as it's set through teams with deadlines for handing in. Dd7 is proving harder to motivate each day and is spending a huge amount of time playing outside. Good for her mental health I guess

[RuffleCrow]

I've been fairly strict about doing a bit each school term weekday. I've seen enough disaster films to know that structure and routine are the way to stay sane. Means they've actually been looking forward to half term and not having to do any work for a week.

[habibihabibi]

Nope
Mine log in and register for live core lessons at set times and then can chose which order they do the twice daily preloaded specialist subjects but the teachers are online to answer any queries. They are Y4 and Y5.
Some times the teachers set up splinter groups on google meet where the kids can work in teams
My youngest has extra literacy support sessions with an LSA and the elder sees the counsellor online for chats.
I am working too so can't supervise 100% and won't pretend its ideal but under the circumstances it is OK.

[PotteringAlong]

No. DS who is in year 3 not happy but we’re pushing though.

[GoodbyePorpoiseSpit]

I’m willing to bet that little or no men are having this angst or concern about their kids’ schooling.

[MrsTravers]

DDs(Yrs 7 & 5) are doing reasonably well at it but DS1 has been very reluctant - he's 8, I wonder if there's an age thing? He really misses his friends too.

I took the view that we would compromise a couple of weeks ago and focus on the set work in maths, English and science. He likes the set work for ICT & French as it's computer based and then we've been doing topic as he enjoys it. I drew him up a timetable (with lots of breaks!) and also checked that we were focussing on the right things with his teacher (felt better having her 'blessing'!) I also put in 2 sessions where he could choose something else from the work set.

We don't always manage it but I think seeing some compromise has helped him. He definitely needs the structure and is getting to understand that if he focuses in the morning he gets more playtime with his brother.

It doesn't always work, and we have good days and bad, but we are getting some stuff done and there is less shouting and stress. Other thing is I always read with him somewhere in the day - am not the best at playing and it assuages some of my guilt at doing other stuff (am self- employed and my work is v flexible but I do need to do some).

Not entirely sure that we're going to manage until September though 😱. And getting him out of the house is another matter altogether!

[CovidicusRex]

I have. If I was capable I would have done it from the beginning. I’m not, at least not with my devil’s spawn children.

[Kickanxietyinthebeanbag]

We are having a 2 week half term ..but my ds has been out of school for over 2 years ,while lea find a special school place ,so I’m used to doing work with him ,.

[897654321abcvrufhfgg]

Yes we decided to take a 2 week half term instead. And breath.....

[nikkijr1990]

Yes same here 2 weeks half term! I don't think that's unreasonable in the circumstances lol! I think you might be onto something with an age thing ! I had noticed before this that my some was becoming quiet over emotional about things wonder if there's some kind or hormone surge around this age....I hope so otherwise he's just a beast! And yes little to no input on the homeschool from dad 😂 he doesn't mind doing nap times with the baby with the baby so I can fight on get on with homeschooling ds1 haha