Visiting family but social distancing.

[FreakStar]

Everyone round here has decided it's ok to visit family and friends, including elderly people, as long as they sit two metres apart in the garden while they drink their tea or glass of wine.

AIBU to think this is not really what we should be doing?

[The80sweregreat]

Peg and a bucket in the shed may work well as a loo?

[FraterculaArctica]

In my view it's about following the rules at a minimum, because the effectiveness of the lockdown depends on everyone doing so. If I go out to exercise and pass a local friend in their front garden, I would and have stopped to chat at a distance for a couple of minutes. Seeing anyone who lived further away (as all my family do) or making a journey specifically to do so - no, no matter how lonely they were feeling, I would try and arrange support by one of the allowed means.

[EmmaGellerGreen]

@DahliaGardener we have gone back to toddler life, everyone needs to have a toilet visit before we go and no drinks when we’re there!

[Remmy123]

I think we all have to use common sense, and be carful - I cannot leave my mother without visitors she lives alone, it's inhumane. I've been in her garden a few times - we have very low rate of infection where we are.

[DahliaGardener]

I think the toilet is the real issue. Why not put up a toilet tent in the back garden with rudimentary facilities inside? Don't laugh--I'm serious.

[EmmaGellerGreen]

Btw a friend is a GP and we have discussed these visits with her. She agrees that sitting outside at least 2 metres away and not sharing drinks is incredibly low risk especially when balanced against the mental health benefits.

[MRex]

@FreakStar - yes, a sleepover is going too far, and if you're right they're just doing it to hand out then it's irresponsible. It might be that they've struggled on their own physically and have moved in as a result? One of our neighbours looks like a healthy 80+ yo, but his daughter does all his cleaning so she's in and out, if they found it easier to share then that might make sense for them. I know a couple of single mothers who've moved in with their parents or had a relative move on, it's their family's choice to make it so that everyone can cope. One relative of mine also needs to move back home soon because university halls are closing, so he might look like he's going for a "sleepover", but his other option is becoming homeless.

[EmmaGellerGreen]

@FraterculaArctica. If your mother was getting increasingly distraught about being alone and saying she’d rather be dead than carry on being alone, would you not consider sitting in her garden, several metres away? It is at times about assessing and balancing risks. Life often is, isn’t it?

[dadandtwokids]

Did you get your tape measure out?

Lol, nice try...

Just quietly shaking my head at people clapping for the NHS, frowning at every passing cyclist, but deciding their entitled to their Sunday afternoon chat with friends.

Frankly, I don't care anymore. People have voted with their feet that we are going for herd immunity, so be it then. Might have been the governments plan all along. I don't particularly fancy getting the virus myself so I shall remain careful. For herd immunity we need get 60% volunteers to get it, seems there should be no shortage of them.

[TheRealSlamShady]

My parents came round yesterday. We sat in the garden more than 2 metres apart. They sat on chairs we don't use and drank from bottles and cans which they put in the bin an hour later on their way home. They are used to seeing us and their grandkids 2/3 times a week and it's hard for them as they are both retired now. We are and they are at no more risk than going out doing weekly shopping as we all are doing.

[ineedaholidaynow]

I drop shopping off to my DM's. She lives in a retirement flat. I don't go in the block. She comes down to the front door, where I have left the shopping and I stand on the other side of the road. We then have a quick chat.

She lives between the shops and our house, so all within one journey. DH and DS don't come with me. I like to think I am not breaking any rules.

[FraterculaArctica]

I'm horrified by this. What part of the government's rules or guidance says "make your own decisions about the risk" ?

[usernotknown]

Did you get your tape measure out?

[dadandtwokids]

YANBU,

being less than 2pm apart for more than 15min is what spreads the virus!

Passing a stranger less than 2m in Tesco or on the road for 10 sec doesn't!

Everybody around here sat in their front gardens yesterday with visitors or chatted to neighbours over the fence. I am sure they all claimed they were 2m apart but none of them were. 2m is further than you think.

[FreakStar]

But surely having a sleepover is going a bit too far at the moment! The parents only live a couple of miles away in the same town.

[The80sweregreat]

People will do this and probably have been for weeks! They have over the back to me every weekend.

[ilovebagpuss]

I understand people needing to do this and I think that if you are very local to each other sitting 3/4 m away in a garden seems acceptable.
I just feel sad working in care that so many have taken the option to drive to peoples houses for drinks or a birthday or a VE Day tea and they put on FB “socially distanced meet up” like it’s already been allowed but it hasn’t.
I genuinely wouldn’t mind if this had been announced great I would get to see my friends but then I probably wouldn’t risk them as my care home has infections.
I’m just rambling but somehow I feel hurt by it all. Meanwhile care homes are being flamed for not doing enough to contain infection rates probably by the same people having their mates round for a BBQ “socially distanced”

[Catsmother1]

As much as I would love to sit with family in the garden, it’s against the rules, so I haven’t done.

[kazza446]

We did it on Friday. It was the MIL’s birthday. She has severe anxiety; won’t use technology; and it was her birthday. We had followed all rules to this point. We sat in her garden, socially distanced ourselves and did not share any cups, crockery etc. They opened garden gate before we arrived and closed it afterwards. We never went into the house. I’m aware we were breaking rules but it helped her anxiety seeing the children and gave me time to try and talk down some of her anxieties. She’s over 70 so hasn’t left the house for 8 weeks and is fixated on the media, coronavirus and statistics in our area. We won’t do it again until permitted to do so. It was a one off. The rest of her Street was having a VE Day party on their gardens so not sure there’s much difference.

[Pipandmum]

It's easier to put a blanket ban on something than rely on people to use common sense, as it has been demonstrated over and over how some people have none.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

I don't see why we can go to B&Q and queue up with hundreds of strangers but can't go and see family with social distancing. Seems ridiculous to me.

Seeing family members for a chat who are alone and maybe struggling is essential in my view.

[EmmaGellerGreen]

We go to see my mum. She opens the back gate which we go through. There are chairs at one end of the garden which we sit on and are left there, she doesn’t touch them. We don’t have a drink or anything to eat. We stay much further away than 2 metres. We leave, she closes the gate.

[Lonelymum11]

Depends. My elderly neighbour's son has been round several times. He brings his own camping chair and sets it up on the driveway and she has a bench in her front garden, up against the house, that she sits on while they chat. He doesn't take a drink from her so they don't have any contact, even through touching the same objects. She lives alone, and apart from the food delivery man, her son is the only person she sees as she hasn't been leaving the house. They're clearly sensible about it and have decided the low risk this poses is outweighed by the benefit of her having some human interaction. I can't see any issue with it.

[MRex]

PIL drive over to collect any shopping we've got them from our online deliveries and stand to chat at the end of the driveway for 20 min or so. Our risk assessment is that it's safe for them to do so, there aren't many people needing the footpath and it's easy to make space when there are. I'd like the restrictions to be eased because the risk to them or us from us going through each other's pre-opened garage to sit in the garden is zero and it would be more comfortable.

[LIZS]

Watching through glass is rather different though.