Why is nobody listening?

[cantata]

I have lost my job, my income, my physical health and my mental health as a result of this lockdown (to which I am adhering, before anyone tells me that people will die as a result of my behaviour, and I should just stay the fuck at home. I am staying the fuck at home, because I want this to end).

I am not the only one in this situation. Why is nobody listening to us? Why is everyone going along with this narrative about "the British public is happy to be in lockdown"?

Some people might be. But could someone please, please listen to those of us who are not?

[Annarosez]

I'm sorry OP; it sounds like it's really ruined your life.

Thank you for sticking to all of the rules despite that. Just to say if counselling is something you think would help through this time lots of services are offering support online/through telephone appointments.

[cantata]

I will read properly later, and will respond properly too. But just wanted to say thank you all for such kindness. I wasn't expecting it at all, and I appreciate it enormously.

[PerkingFaintly]

Hey there. Hope everyone's hanging on OK today.

all round.

[midgebabe]

There is a difference between being happy to be locked up and being accepting of the fact that it is the best thing as a whole for the country and the people living here. We can agree with lockdown without being happy about it

Like having a leg amputated to save a life ...best of a set of bad options

[LonginesPrime]

I don't think it's a case of most people feeling happy about being locked up - I think it's more likely that people are trying to stay positive and look for any little silver linings to guard their own (and their families') mental health.

[hamstersarse]

Bravo @Wetfloortiles

[Tootletum]

Unfortunately even people who have lost their jobs seem happy to be locked up. Less than 20% of the population appears to want to relax the restrictions. I'm in those 20% but hey I'm a selfish bitch. Apparently.

[BestOption]

@cantata
I'm sorry you feel no one is listening 🌷

It feel to me like quite a lot of attention is being focussed on mental health & balancing that with other things. But I'm not you x

'We are all in this together'. Yep that might be so, but that's like a very tall person and an ant standing in a puddle. They might be better in it' but the impact is significantly different!!

Who do you need to hear you? (Specifically) and what would you appreciate them actually doing??

As for this...

I suppose what frightens me is that, if the government truly believes the huge majority of people are happy with what we have got, there will be no reason to try to find a way out

This you REALLY don't need to worry about. They WANT it to end, they WANT everyone back to work! They WANT the economy to start to recover FAR more than they care about the number who die - so please don't worry about it lasting a minute longer than it absolutely has to

You say you've lost your...

Job
Income
Physical health
Mental health

What steps are you taking to get any of those back? Would you like to talk about any of them?

[B1rdbra1n]

Amazon is making $11,000 per second
Like a winged dragon predating upon us all, hoovering up all the profit until there is nothing left and it flies off to find fresh meat

[cologne4711]

I am in a very fortunate position, I have some work, DH has a job, we have a mortgage-free home and a garden and places we can walk/run/cycle.

We're also fairly introverted so not massively bothered about not seeing people. And we don't have small children.

It must be very difficult if you are stuck in a small flat with or without small children and don't have paid work.

But despite not being badly affected by the lockdown I very much hope it ends on May 8th (or 10th). I don't mean completely but that the government starts to lift it. The economy does matter, and we need to get things moving again (though with the no deal Brexit disaster looming at the end of the year, any relief is going to be very temporary and marginal - at least other countries will be able to get on with rebuilding their economies, we'll be deliberately sabotaging ours).

[SoloMummy]

@cantata
the British public is happy to be in lockdown
I think that you're wrong. No people aren't HAPPY. However, the alternative is far worse and that's what people are grateful for.
Everyone, as a rule is finding it challenging. We all have different challenges as a result of the pandemic. No one's situation is more important than another's, everyone is just doing what they need to survive.
Remember if lockdown was lifted today in entirety, things really would be much worse for much longer.

[iamapixie]

@wetfloortiles. With u on all that.

[twoHopes]

@ChessIsASport - no worries I totally get it. To be honest I've always been one of those practical people and so am learning the hard way how to be a better shoulder to cry on.

I just think that for a lot of people their job really is their identity, it's what they get up for everyday or have trained for all their lives. Losing a job can be a massive blow to your self-esteem and self-worth. Saying "just get a new one" might help you financially but it doesn't really solve those other issues.

[Wetfloortiles]

I understand. All the happy, jolly stay at home adverts give me the rage. I am not happy that through no fault of my own I've lost my job, my income and my freedom. I feel totally and utterly out of control. I admit that I've had suicidal fantasies (that I wouldn't act on) because I can't see light at the end of the tunnel. My parents are happy to be in lockdown forever, because they have a huge pension and no mortgage to pay. Even they have said they won't see me and my children until there is a vaccine. I feel totally and utterly alone. If I speak out about how I feel I will be called 'anti-NHS' or something similar. I also am fed up of clapping for the NHS and if I can't face dragging myself out the front of my house in my PJS at 8pm every Thursday, then I'm terrified my neighbours will all be talking about me and hate me. It feels like a religion that I didn't sign up to. Before anyone starts, I am incredibly grateful to the frontline workers and the NHS - I always have been. But actually, I am watching my childhood friend with terminal cancer have his treatment stopped for 12 weeks, and seeing 3 members of my family who are NHS consultants sit at home on £100k a year as all their clinics have stopped . But they're still happy to join in with the Facebook craze of #IamNHS and writing long winded posts about their contribution to the NHS to get congratulations, thank yous and everything else. Only NHS jobs seem to matter. Forget everyone else. The virtue-signalling is appalling. No one can give their neighbour a box of paracetamol without writing about it on Facebook

This whole thing stinks, and I can feel depression approach me like a heavy weight. I'm terrified and can't see an end to it

[bathsh3ba]

I hear ya. I'm fortunate to be financially unaffected but the stress is real. In my village, a friend posted offering to collect click and collect shopping for people who were isolating and was flamed for taking business away from the village shop. The village shop is wonderful but it is small and cannot stock the range of a supermarket or feed the whole village. It's also expensive and doing very well when all other shops have had to close for now. I don't know why so many people seem to be being so self centred around lockdown.

[ChessIsASport]

Ok. I see your point. I am one of those people who is very focused on practical solutions. But I know that everyone deals with problems differently and I probably misunderstood what the OP was asking for. I am not great at picking up on emotions even face to face!

[twoHopes]

@ChessIsASport - I get it and I don't mean to pick on you. But I think people in this situation are looking for sympathy not quick fixes. We all know we could get a job in a supermarket/delivery driver if we lost our jobs. We all know we could use up our savings, remortgage our homes and stop buying any luxuries. It doesn't really help people to tell them that, they already know.

[ChessIsASport]

@twoHopes I normally wouldn’t suggest it but this poster wants to get out of lockdown for their mental health and I thought that this was one of the few ways of doing it.

Lots of people don’t want to stay at home. The people I know who have taken on new jobs are definitely in this category. Plenty of them have degrees or huge amounts of experience in their normal careers. If staying at home is affecting some people this badly then surely getting out by any means is better than that?

[ChardonnaysPetDragon]

You are not alone, OP.

I thinks there is much more to that though. Isolation and these few weeks are a strange form of limbo. People are feeling safe at home and many have their little family home and staying home is how they deal with it, it's what makes them feel in control in these uncertain times. Many do have their head in the sand and just don't want to face what's going to happen when the cosy sometime is over, and frankly, I can't blame them. So there are threads ramping up the fear because then you can stay home longer and maybe be safe for longer, and there are the posters who have found their calling in telling off everybody for not following the rules, and again, that makes them happy and in control.

It's all smoke and mirrors and a bit shit.

[twoHopes]

I do think MN is skewed in its audience though and the people on here generally aren't suffering as much as others.

Unfortunately I think a lot of people are going to have a wake up call. Many economists are predicting a deep and long term economic depression. There's not going to be many of us left unscathed by this. Apart from a couple of doctor friends, I don't know anyone who feels confident that their job will still exist in a year's time.

[Fatted]

Hope you're doing as well as you can be OP.

Lockdown is shit and I don't know one person who is happy with it. We are lucky, we're both still bringing in two wages. But I can't see my family and my sibling is dying in hospital and we can't visit.

I do think MN is skewed in its audience though and the people on here generally aren't suffering as much as others. Look at how many people were calling for the schools to close, because they were all SAHP anyway who didn't have to fathom up child care out of thin air if the schools, nurseries and childminders did close. Look at the posts about Ocado/Waitrose home delivery service breaking under the strain of panic buying. These aren't people living on the bread line, pay day to pay day as it was.

[iamapixie]

You are not alone. Even tho I am very lucky not to be in your financial situation I still feel as if I am in a parallel universe where all measured, evidence-based conversation has disappeared, replaced in part by 1984-speak.
And Mimi, yes I agree re global corporations. There will be a number of winners coming out of this - Amazon is already making an extra 11,000$ per second - whilst small businesses end up paying, as usual.

[MegUffin]

I hear you but It's going to be a new way of life after this, a new ' normal'

Anyone who thinks it's going to be how it was is kidding themselves

It's absolutely difficult for everyone.

All of us and I have diagnosed mental health issues.

[oohnicevase]

I don't think anyone is happy are they? We are just trying to do the best for the greater good .

[Tattiebee]

Sorry youre struggling OP. No way will be locked down until a vaccine, I think those calling for it are deluded and naieve to the effects of a crumbled economy and MH time bomb. It's hard isn't it