Cooling off at a friends house

[Duckduckgosling]

So we can now have 'cooling off' time at our friends if we stay for several days after having had an argument at home!

I wonder how many people are going to abuse this and use it as an excuse to mix households.

On the other hand, it's a good thing for those in abusive relationships.

[RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime]

.....Or some wives will kill husbands, dv can happen to anyone

[ezzie26]

Completely agree with JasonPollack

[Mikki2019]

Yes, it’s to make it more workable now we are going into a much longer period of lockdown (and prob more ahead to come )

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

It's not even just the DV cases, which are many and devastating in their consequences.

It's also all the relationships that have been barely muddling on with the excuse of work, hobbies, being able to go out and the couple are now stuck together 24/7. Going somewhere for a few days could stop situations escalating.

It's also the case (and I know a few already) where an affair was discovered and they still need to live under the same roof,with all the anger and the resentment and the hurt.

Plenty of times children will also be present and trapped in confusing,toxic and potentially abusive situations.

There are many many reasons why someone might need a break. It might also be the only thing that saves them... physically,mentally or emotionally.


It's fairly disappointed that people's main worry and assumption is about the ones that will take the piss or go visit mates for no reason.

[ezzie26]

I have been trying my best throughout. It doesn't make it any easier though.

[midsomermurderess]

So many people are hyper-alert to the potential of other people abusing things. I saw it as a nod to possible tensions at home arising from lock down, to let people get out so things can calm down, so it doesn't tip over into something nasty.

[LampHat]

@pleasedoone

I don't think anyone on here need worry much about the latest government advice, given that most posters are not planning to leave their bunkers until 2021 other than for clapping purposes.

😂😂😂

[SouthsideOwl]

@ezzie26 sounds like you need to focus on getting through this without him. And hopefully afterwards too. He doesn't sound like a great father or partner and you sound like you're doing everything you can for your child. He's not your problem right now love.

[ezzie26]

I begged my 22 month old son's father for his support during lock-down. I have been isolating for 4 weeks tomorrow as have severe asthma. With his help I could have worked from home and continued to complete my professional exams and that would have supported our son and he could have started to build the relationship with our son that so far he has not made time for (putting his habits and 'mates' first). I thought that lock-down and limited choices might concentrate his efforts and mean that he might start to value the chance of a relationship with his son. Instead he promised to self-isolate to then come and be with us and support (for the first time) and a day later he disappeared for over a week to go to the next county (from Stratford Upon Avon to Banbury/Bloxham) to drink beer with mates from different households. He stonewalled for nearly a week, then had a go at me for going for a one hour walk each day with our 22 month old (21 months at the time) then disappeared again. He then said he loved my son and I and wanted to be with us, I said great I am really struggling and need you to demonstrate that and do the right thing now, he immediately went off drinking with his mate and then had a go at me saying he couldn't come back to the county he lives in because I am asking him to drink drive.

[SouthsideOwl]

Also, it takes 2 sets of idiots to make this happen. The person leaving their house and the person letting them in. So if people are stupid enough to do it for shits and giggles then hell mend em.

[SouthsideOwl]

@celan urgh it's infuriating. I'm not a great virtuosa of 'the rules' being banded about but if I was dumb enough to turn up at my parents with my weekend bag saying 'DH and I had a big fight wink wink' they'd A) Know I was taking the piss and B) not let me in, because they're being sensible.

However I cannot stand the idea that situations like this can just be ignored for the next 3 weeks. I genuinely wouldn't put it past some people being like ' what's a few more punches? Some broken ribs and a few rapes? Don't you know people are DYING just stay the fuck home FFS'

[JasonPollack]

...Or some wives will kill husbands, dv can happen to anyone.

How many men have died at the hands of their partners since lockdown?! Don't be obtuse. Domestic Violence resulting in death is perpetuated by men against women in almost all cases.

I think that this is intended to stem the vast increase in domestic killings and abuse. Hopefully people will not abuse it.

[celan]

@GabsAlot They really shouldn't have to be clearer. Where has common sense gone? Obviously nobody needs to "go round their sisters'" at the moment "coz DH is being a wanker".

The very fact that anyone thinks this needs spelling out is the reason the rest of us are stuck in an apparently endless lockdown.

[pleasedoone]

I don't think anyone on here need worry much about the latest government advice, given that most posters are not planning to leave their bunkers until 2021 other than for clapping purposes.

[GabsAlot]

its not a solution i just think they need to be clearer on what they mean and to who

[GabsAlot]

They havent made it clear its just for abuse though-im not going round my sisters just coz dh is being a wanker i wouldnt risk it

[celan]

I am struggling to understand how "just go for a walk" would ever be a solution to domestic abuse. @GabsAlot

[NeutralJanet]

Why would the mover be more likely to bring the virus than a member of the household going to supermarket and picking it up

It's a possibility the mover could already be infected with the disease and not showing symptoms yet, spread it to other people in that household and they then go out and infect others if they're out shopping, working etc. I have sympathy for people stuck in abusive households but this new thing of "cooling off" seems open to abuse from pisstakers and will result in far more households mixing with each other and using it as an excuse.

[celan]

Xenia is absolutely right.

[rosiepony]

DV happens mainly by men to women. By far. FFS.

[LilacTree1]

It might also prevent suicides.

[GabsAlot]

i mentioned this-shouldnt they be saying just go for a walk or call 999 if your being abused not mix with other household

Now you'll get people visiting others saying well police said i could

[Samtsirch]

When I heard about this I thought the government really have no idea what they are doing or how to proceed, every time another possible scenario is brought up they offer a fudged solution and hope for the best.
I dread to think what will come up next, it really is the hopeless leading the hopeless.

[gingajewel]

.....Or some wives will kill husbands, dv can happen to anyone.

[Xenia]

It's a balance. Fewer will die if we allow this. If we don't allow it some husbands will kill wives.