Should frontline NHS workers isolate themselves from family?

[fieldofdaisies]

My husband is a paramedic and is sadly dealing with more and more cases of COVID-19 on a daily basis. He is therefore very over-exposed to the virus and is potentially putting myself and my daughter at risk of contracting it at home. We are all fit and healthy but of course there is still a risk we could be ill.
We have been wondering whether he should isolate himself from us (my daughter and myself) completely. We could go and live with my mum until this is all over. The worry is, no-one knows if that will be weeks or months!
What are other families with frontline health workers doing to reduce the risk?

[happypotamus]

I am travelling by public transport and working in a hospital, not as frontline as ITU but still some COVID patients. The hospital will put staff up in a hotel if we want. DH and I have decided against it, partly because there is no end in sight. He still has to work and would then be a single parent looking after and teaching DC. DC would miss me. I can't really isolate from them within the home, as we have no spare bed/ bedroom and only one bathroom. I could sleep on the settee for the foreseeable future, but then DC couldn't go in the living room where the only tv is and there is no other room they could play in except the one DH has taken as his office. I don't know how to explain to DC that I am in the front room but they can't come in or see me or hug me. We just have to hope that I am not putting them at huge risk (DH more than DC)...

[QuaverQueen]

We don’t have a spare room either so DH, who is being shielded, has had to move to a futon in the front room for the duration.

It’s weird being in the same house but separate.

[BrokenBrit]

My DW is working on Covid wards as a doctor.
I have asthma and a couple of other minor ish health conditions. We debated separating her from the family but we didn’t have the money to do so, we share one bathroom and of course one kitchen living room etc.
Just hoping the protection helps and we are spared when we do contract it. That’s all we can do. NHS frontline staff and their families have been thrown under a bus by incorrect PPE and lack of preparedness.

[BadgertheBodger]

DH is on CCU and we’ve decided he’s staying here with me and 3yo DS. Not really anywhere for him to go otherwise although DS and I could potentially go somewhere else but I’d rather we were together. Like others, he brings scrubs home in a pillowcase and straight into a hot wash, clean and disinfect shoes and he goes in the shower. DS and I are low risk though. I’m honestly a bit desensitised to it at this point. I felt horribly anxious and cried a lot the first week but now I’m just eating lots of chocolate and drinking gin DH thinks the PPE is going to start running short this week though so god knows what happens then

[justdontatme]

I very briefly wondered whether we should do this - DH is a doctor - but can’t afford it really. Plus I don’t think it’s desirable, who knows how long this will go on for, I would rather we were together.

[trumpisaflump]

@MozzchopsThirty help me understand why you're doing this. I'm now worried as I'm not. I'm working in ICU too (only as a pharmacist so no direct patient contact) but have full PPE. I shower as soon as I come home and wash all my clothes.

[anothernotherone]

manicinsomniac is right that if you're already incubating it you'll give it to your mother, who is likely to be at higher risk than you and your daughter. It's too late to move now, better to stay where you are and take precautions such as your husband showering and changing clothes before hugging your children or you. That's what I'm doing.

I'm not front line - adult social care - and this is what I'm doing. I shouldn't be putting my family at much risk as our little sheltered group of residents have been isolated for four weeks now, but selfish idiot colleagues who taking unnecessary risks visiting friends and going out and about in their free time because they're bored living alone, or even breaking the rules now and taking residents out, because they're bored and stressed staying in with the residents at work. They're risking catching it and passing it to our residents and through them or directly to me or other colleagues. I don't want to catch it because colleagues are going on extra jolly outings/ visiting people - and the same individuals are taking their masks off all the time

[Spudina]

I’ve thought about this and have decided against. I take reasonable precautions like changing at work and keeping my uniforms away from the family, lots of hand washing of course. But my eldest who is 8 is really anxious and we need to keep some normality for her. I’ve nowhere to go. Also my husband is desperately trying to work from home and it’s not fair on him for me to just give up all parental responsibility for an indeterminate amount of time. It’s a call everyone makes considering what their family circumstance are I guess.

[Babyroobs]

I had signed up to the NMC emergency Nursing register to go back to Nursing but realistically don't know how I could do this as my dh is in the 3 month shielding group and high risk. Even sticking to my normal job when normality resumes I will be based in a hospital Oncology department seeing numerous clients each day so even that is going to be risky. The only thing I can think of that might be possible is working in one of these big Nightingale hospitals and living in accomodation attached to that but you still have to return home at some point !

[1300cakes]

I don't think it's a realistic solution for most. Send loved one to live in a hotel or tent in the backyard for... years? How would most families afford a hotel? And not fair to impose on other friends or family especially if they are vulnerable, eg, grandparents.

The worry is, no-one knows if that will be weeks or months!

Actually we know for sure it won't be weeks. It will be many months at least if not years.

[MrsElijahMikaelson1]

DH has only one set of clothes that he wears to and from the hospital-straight into scrubs when he gets there. Operates/dealsWith patients all day. Comes home, through into the back garden, strips off there (sorry neighbours) clothes into bag, which I then put straight onto a hot wash, shoes/belts etc wiped with antibacterial stuff, then he runs through the house and showers. Tbh we don’t have anywhere else he could stay and as people have said this will be months on end, so we try and stay as safe as possible. That’s all anyone can do. You have to do whatever you think and feel its best for you💐

[Parker231]

DH is a doctor - we’ve decided he is going continue to live at home with us (although with the hours he’s working we’re not seeing much of him).

[cantcalm]

Dfriend is considering doing exactly this as a GP - all other household high risk and shielding . Said she was seriously considering sleeping on the surgery sofa for as long as it takes as she can’t find an alternative - not entirely sure she was joking sadly .

[WorriedNHSer]

I strongly considered it but decided in the end that the impact of separation for potentially a year or more would be worse for my young children than the risk of catching covid. I do shower and change clothes as soon as I get home. If I was a consultant anaesthetist with older children I might have decided otherwise perhaps.

[AnyFucker]

@NurseJaques I totally agree with what you said. A vaccine is a long way off and there is precendent for any development of one to be abandoned anyway as the virus reaches a peak in the community.

[Kaykay066]

That’s fine if you’re able to do that, single parent nurse frontline as work on a ward where we look after patients with covid-19. I also have an asthmatic son. Kids can’t go to dads to live as he’s police in custody so also coming into contact so as much as I would like to keep it away from my kids I can’t. Except for never wearing uniform out of the ward - we change there always. Showering as soon as home - no separate bathroom and making sure my infection control at work is as scrupulous as it can be I have to hope that will keep us all safe. One girl is living in her caravan and husband and kids in house.

It’s horrible for us all, worrying about catching it ourselves:passing it on, and for how long this will go on, we don’t know ☹️

[AnyFucker]

Good luck @MozzchopsThirty

You will get used to your new normal very quickly. Currently, my life revolves around work and then recovering from work just to start again. That is it, for the foreseeable. I fought against it at first and cried buckets in the process. Doing that with no outlet at all would have been just plain cruel.

[NurseJaques]

@AnyFucker had already said it better than me

[NurseJaques]

This is going to go on for months, possibly years. Are people really planning to separate from their partners/children for that long?!

Also, without a vaccine (that is not guaranteed, is a long way off, will take so long to roll out that a large % will have already had virus) the only realistic exit strategy is for everyone to be exposed to the virus...

[MozzchopsThirty]

@AnyFucker thank you
I'll be doing lots of self care and I'm planning holidays for Xmas time to keep me busy and focussed

I have dd here so not completely alone but it's going to be hard

[AnyFucker]

No.

We are following all the guidelines but I am still living with my H and dc. We still eat, sleep and live together normally. I will have been exposed many times even before full PPE was introduced.

Whatever you do will have to be maintained for potentially many, many months. All these people shielding will still be at risk at the end of the current 3 month timeline. In fact more so, because when this lockdown is lifted (as it must be) more infections will start to circulate again the community

There is no easy answer here. We cannot eradicate risk. We just have to make our own assessment of it. Personally, I think it is too much to expect of me bearing in mind both myself and immediate family are in low risk groups.

@MozzchopsThirty I have beed reading your posts over the last few days and you sound terrified. You will feel better once you get started, I promise. Unless someone in your nuclear family is in a high risk group think carefully about isolating yourself from them for God knows how long. Seeing no one but work colleaugues and very ill people is a recipe for disaster for you. Believe me, keeping as much normality for you as is possible is very important right now if you are to do a good job ( and keep your mental health relatively intact)

[MozzchopsThirty]

I'm doing this from Tuesday as I'm going to work in ITU
I won't see my boyfriend or children until I'm released from there and have isolated for 7 days

Could be weeks, could be months! It's heartbreaking

[QuaverQueen]

This could go on for ages, I’ve got a co-worker that’s moved into a hotel as his wife is one of the shielded group and it’s a pretty miserable existence.

I’m also living with someone in the shielded group but haven’t moved at as yet am just staying in different rooms to DH though we do have to share a kitchen / bathroom. It’s far from ideal and I may need to move out if the situation worsens.

There’s a hell of a lot of front line NHS staff OP, where do you imagine they’d all go?

[MeadowHay]

Covid will be a threat until a vaccination programme is rolled out. That could well be not for a couple of YEARS, depending on how things go. I doubt anyone would be willing to live separately from their families for say 2 years if that's how long it takes to roll out vaccination to healthcare workers? In which case I don't see the point of doing it for a limited time period now, it doesn't reduce your overall risk.

FWIW DH is front-line NHS staff and we certaintly aren't doing that. There is me and him, and toddler DD who is in the 'vulnerable' category. He is likely to only have fairly limited exposure to covid patients in his role though and he does have access to the correct PPE. At this point I think DD may be most likely to bring it into the home as she's attending nursery a few days a week where the children are all children of the hospital staff, when some of those staff won't have access to the grade of PPE that DH does.

[twinnywinny14]

My friend is in the same position as you. So far her DH who is a paramedic has been staying at home as normal, but they have decided to isolate further as the peak is approaching, not because of the risk being higher necessarily but to avoid the risk of getting poorly with it and needing hospital admission. I think it’s a personal decision and one that a couple/family need to make together xx