Macabre, but have you written letters to your partners and kids just in case?

[Pansypath]

I have been meaning to do this anyway as enough friends have passed away from illnesses and other tragedies. But this pandemic is focussing the mind somewhat.

[istheresomethingwrongwithme]

I write my boys a letter on their birthday each year. I write all sorts about their past 12 months, the things they have done and what they are like as they grow up, as well as telling them how special they are and how much I love them.

They go in a sealed envelope with their age on and in their baby memory boxes. Then they aren't 'letters before I die' as such, but a record of our lives as a family and I reminder that I always loved them.

DH hasn't seen the content of the letters, it's literally from me to them. He knows where they are though, should I croke it. I should probably tell someone else, in case we both go in a car crash or something. Maybe I'll ask our solicitor to add a note in our will.

I lost my sister when I was 14. She was 24. She was ill for a long time with a very rare disease. Even though she was poorly for so long, the disease was so rare that the doctors couldn't really predict her outcome, so it felt like a bolt out of nowhere when she died. I'm at peace with it now (although I miss her terribly), so I wouldn't say it makes me paranoid about death, but I don't really have anything material that links me to her so I'm probably more conscious of it.

[Pansypath]

so sorry @Iwant2move

[YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus]

I started to do this at the beginning of March for DS, it’s actually become a letter entitled What I Want You to Know and What I Wish I Knew at 16.
I decided he’ll get it whether I live or die because it contains some pretty awesome wisdom within.

[TheSheepofWallSt]

Yes.

Am a single parent and I have written to DS and a letter to DM.
DS father is immune compromised and lives in central London. He’s made his will.

[OldLace]

@Iwant2move
I am so sorry for your loss - how awful for you

My Father died in an RTA when I was 12 weeks old, so I have grown up always known how quickly life can change.
You are correct, if people manage to bring themselves to write the letters, it is worth keeping them.

[Iwant2move]

If you do write letters, don’t destroy them. I have sympathised with many on this forum when they have lost their partner or child. I always thought it would never happen to me. Three months after moving to our dream home (had been planning for seventeen years), my wonderful husband was killed in a car crash. He was only just 53 years old and five minutes from home.

[OldLace]

Its a good idea anyway tbh, it's just that this wretched virus has brought it all to the front of our minds.

[RoxanneRoxannee]

@Jollitwiglet this is such a good idea, I really wish I have done this, and send pictures etc

[Jollitwiglet]

When both my daughters were born I set up an email account for both of them. I send them emails a few times a year

[binkyblinky]

My sister has. She's a frontline nurse 😢

[RoxanneRoxannee]

No, I've not. Although I know this is serious and lots of people are going to die, I am early 30's, healthy, no underlying health issues good BMI and following socia distancing and staying home, but this post has really scared me

[Realitea]

I wouldn’t worry too much. This could cause some really anxious people to absolutely lose their minds putting something like that.
It’s a very very small amount of people who die when you consider the population of this country.

[Pansypath]

Sorry for those of you who have experienced loss.

I think I will do one letter for all my kids to share. And the passwords in a sealed card is a good idea.

[Beebityboo]

I have thought about it but keep putting it off because I know I won't get through a paragraph without having an emotional breakdown

I suppose though that even if I survive getting it, I could get hit by a bus/have a sudden heart attack etc, so it may be good to do anyway just in case. It would be good for them to have something tangible to read and hang on to when I'm gone.

[MaggieFS]

No, but I have got some cards out for us each to write down all of our passwords, seal up and lock away.

[wherethewavesarehighest]

Not yet, I'm not great with words and to be honest I'm just putting it off.

[GlassInEachHand]

Pip and Why

[GlassInEachHand]

No, not yet, but a few weeks ago I did tell our eldest daughter where we keep the deeds to the house...

[Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername]

I have done this for my kids, in a journal type thing, since my DH passed nearly 10 years ago. I update it every so often, with little anecdotes about their lives, and how proud I am of their achievements. I've just lost 2 people in 4 days to this awful pandemic, which makes me think I should update it again very soon. Just in case

[Dahlietta]

No, but partly because I'm assuming I will have a bit of time (10 days seems to be the going rate) from first symptoms before I die if I am going to!

[Maisieme]

Yes I have. I’m in my early sixties but quite overweight and unfit.

[Camomila]

No, but I was ill 2 weeks ago (got to the shortness of breath stage but only for a few days luckily) and told DH if I got really ill he could consent to a ventilator, cpr, and any experimental treatment going for me!
DH said the same for him.

We're 31 and 32, in good health and have 2 DC under 4. We'd both want to try our best to live for the DSs even if the treatment was brutal.

[Barbararara]

No. I don’t think I can express myself well enough in writing. I wouldn’t know what to say. I’m just focusing on letting my dc and dh, dps and siblings know that I love them in words and actions, and defusing the small stresses that build up in a lockdown.

[YouKnowWhoo]

I’ve written the one letter to both of my children. I think it was about 10 days ago. I feel better it’s done.

I would hate to be whipped away and not have any capacity to leave or communicate a message.