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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Conception

An egg goes forth and multiplies.......................we hope.

38 replies

treedelivery · 22/05/2009 19:29

Hello.

I am going to be an egg donor. Lots of people in rl are interested in why I am, how I will be and when it will happen.

So I thought I would start a thread. I did a small test thread to make sure posting in the conception topic would not be insensitive to those who may have struggles, and recieved no negative feedback.

I really hope the thread is interesting [obviously] and I also hope to see some debate around the issue. I'd love those with experience to get involved too.

So here goes.......

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treedelivery · 16/10/2009 11:57

New thread, this thread has moved

here

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treedelivery · 16/10/2009 11:37

I fell asleep!! Sorry.

Doing it now

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VeryHungryLennipillar · 15/10/2009 21:04

Go on then

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treedelivery · 15/10/2009 18:23

I know - I need to do that! Good plan Lenni!

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VeryHungryLennipillar · 15/10/2009 15:56

Hi Tree - as an earlier poster hinted at I think a lot of people will miss this thread, could you maybe start a new one with 'egg donor' or something in the title. It is all so interesting, am sure I'm not the only one intrigued.

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treedelivery · 15/10/2009 12:59

The meds are here!

Am a bit at the sheer quantities of needles and syringes and boxes. I have all the meds needed to go right up to egg collection. It's quite a box full.

Have had a play with a few syringes etc, and paired up the correct equipment to the drugs, looked at the dosages etc.

I'll ring the clinic though - I want to make sure doubly sure I am reading it all right!! Such an importnatn thing, I feel probably more so than if it was for me and dh [that sounds odd and I hope you know what I mean]. This is someone else's money, hopes and dreams I am being let loose on. Oh let it work!!! Please.

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treedelivery · 14/10/2009 21:21

Yes I have given permission for the eggs to be saved, to be used by this couple only. So siblings or repeat attempts are a possibility.
liahgen - I'll know as I know the couple. In fact we agreed we would let our children dictate how much they want to know about each other. iyswim? The couple [as far as I am aware and at this time] are planning on telling their child/children how they got this help - so I felt it would be healthiest for the child to be able to freely contact me and mine from the get-go.

I think we all hope that will go someway to arm against the idea this is a secret or a problem or [God forbid] something to be ashamed or frightened of. Also the idea of the unknown person turning up in 16 years. Any resulting children have the right to trace their donor, so I personally feel it is healthier to have the path in place for them.

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VeryHungryLennipillar · 14/10/2009 21:04

Am also with you on the DNA thing. I have a half brother who is under no circumstance referred to as anything other than my brother. It is in the raising.

Do you have statistics btw? Will they freeze embryos/eggs so that you only have to do the donation once for multiple attempts at IVF if needed?

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liahgen · 14/10/2009 21:03

ooh, how exciting. Nearly didn't open this thread though cos thought it was another of our ttc threads.

Do let us know how you are getting on. Tis something I thought about alot, alas far too old now. Good luck to you.

Will you know if it results in a baby?

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VeryHungryLennipillar · 14/10/2009 21:00

So what has to be done now then Tree? do you inject hormones?I'm am unbearably intrigued by it all.

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4andnotout · 14/10/2009 20:58

I'm definatley on your wavelength about it being just DNA, biology means nothing really it is the parenting and love that makes a family (dd1 is biologically only mine and the others are only half siblings but to us we are a 100% family)

I hope everything goes to plan and results in a beautiful baby

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treedelivery · 14/10/2009 20:47


Thank you for the compliments, but honestly, if I look at it as a few appointments to enable someone to be a mother.....well, what wouldn't I do? What a simple thing to open up an amazing world of exhaustion joy and financial ruin adventure.

Yes, this child will have my DNA. I can say that I honestly do not feel I will feel any sense of 'loss' though. I do not want that egg fertilising, that egg would result in a period in reality. This way that egg gets a chance to be a much wanted child.

It is so simple on so many levels. Very simple when viewed as a gift. Straight forward and total. One never asks for a gift back, or for the lend of it. One might be interested in how it worked out, offer insight or advice if asked.
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myjobismum · 14/10/2009 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

swampster · 14/10/2009 20:30
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4andnotout · 14/10/2009 20:20

Wow Tree I take my hat off to you, egg donation is something I had thought about before dc's but it's no longer an option now.

You (and your dh) are wonderful to do this.

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treedelivery · 14/10/2009 15:43

Hello everyone.

We are in action!

The treatment starts tomorrow. The medications will arrive between 8am and 1pm, and need to go straight in the fridge. SO I start as soon as they land.

Wow!

AM hoping lots of people see this to get some powerful mn vibes from the mn army!

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Ladyemmalou83 · 08/09/2009 21:21

Tree you sound like a truley amazing woman, to be helping couples to bring children into the world. You will bring them so much love and joy...

If you dont mind, I'd like to keep tabs on the thread

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oneopinionatedmother · 08/09/2009 20:37

hows it going tree? last heard you were a few weeks from treatment...

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treedelivery · 01/06/2009 21:27

Hello everyone. Thought as the family is settled I'd add some more to this thread about the egg donation thing.

I have to have some blood screening, includes HIV, Hep B&C, Syphillis, and so on. I went to the GP today who kindly has agreed the screening can be done locally. Phew! I could have gone to the GUM clinic but I dunno, I can see my work noticing as this is a small place and I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I want to tell people in my own way.

I had a scan when I went to the fertility centre, shows my ovaries are ok, alhough muli cystic on one side. The Consultant didn't feel this would be an issue, though maybe the medications will need juggling a bit. We'll have to see how it responds.

The ethics commitee have approved the arrangement, which is great news. This means the donation is sanctioned.

I have tentatively tried dd2 on a bottle to see how she will go when the time comes - wasn't great tbh. She's 4.5 months, am hoping with weaning and maturity she will be happier to use one. The big problem is the milk, I tried her on the prescription formula for milk intolerance. To be fair, I would struggle to drink it. It's grim. So that will be a challenge when the time comes.

Am rather hoping to relactate! Will be a brand new challenge for me! DH is now redundant again [found out Thurs] so there is a real possibility I will be going back to work early, and maybe more hours, even full time shifts. Massively incompatible with bf. So it's all 6 of one and half a dozen of the other in the feeding thing.

I really really wish we had active milk banks or milk donation in this country. It would solve all my [mini] problems.

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ShayeraHol · 23/05/2009 12:51

tree, thanks for posting this - it's all very interesting and you're doing a fantastic thing.

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chefswife · 23/05/2009 08:22

oh i'm keeping tabs on this thread. i've been thinking about this as well. good thing to do tree

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treedelivery · 23/05/2009 00:15

Hello people, thank you for popping in onmy the thread.

missjackson - not local at all, 2.5 hours on the train.

I will certainly be meeting the baby, and will be someone the child grows up knowing about and seeing from time to time. We will play it by ear I guess. I have said though the parents feel uncomfortable I am happy to fade away. I'd be prepared to avoid gatherings if they really wanted to go and not see me. I'd hate to be a reminder of something negative. I feel very much that this is 'their party' and that any help I give must be without strings attached.

However, they seem to have such a healthy attitude to all this I can't imagine it.
Like me they seem to value community and friendship and I think dad-to-be said something like 'you can't have too many people around who wish you well' They seem to be looking at things very positively and very rationally. Though you never know so I am carefull not to convince myself that any one way is 'best'. As long as the baby grows to a happy adult, thats the best any of us can do however the adult was conceived.

We have spoken a bit about all the children, and the councillor asked about it lots. We actually seem to have a fairly similar approach to things as families, as much as you can tell or foresee anyway.

So yes, they are planning to tell their child that they got help from this woman called treedelivery. I'll be telling my eldest about it, although I might save it until it has worked, just in case. I don't want her upset if it doesn't, which at 4, she would be. That was also the advice of the councillor and so I feel good that we are taking the healthy approach in terms of psychology.
I have no problem with seeing the child, I really want to, and am actually happy for the person s/he becomes to spend time at my house or with my children and visa versa. I don't know if the baby will feel like extended family. We'll have to see. But I appreciate that for all our children it might feel like 'cousins' or something like that, so I will be supportive of that.

I guess I'm just totally laid back, as is my dh.

Am happy to answer any more musings - it is good therapy for me too! ANd am cool about thinking about more negative aspects too, so do ask away folks.

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missjackson · 22/05/2009 23:40

Tree first of all, I think you are amazingly generous and brave and lovely to do this for these people, especially as they aren't even direct friends of yours - although maybe easier that way.

Second, have sooo many questions... like....

Are these people local to you? Or, being friends-of-friends, will you get to meet your offspring?

What will you tell your DDs? They will after all have a half sister/ brother in the world?! When they are older they may well want to meet and have a relationship with them.

Oh I have plenty more but I am sure you are busy enough - thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. It's one I will be following avidly.

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dancingqueeen · 22/05/2009 22:45

I think this is a really lovely thing that you are doing. I think in a strange way its probably best that you have a reason to wait a little bit, while you breast feed your little one, at least it gives you lots of time to prepare yourself, and the couple to be ready. Just want to wish you all the best for it.

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treedelivery · 22/05/2009 22:40

Fed dd1 for 6 months when she refused anymore of it. She was very decided! She went on to cups and a bottle at night.

Couple say do whatever is right for dd2 and not to worry, and that at any stage I can change my mind and so on.

They are very very relaxed and easy going. A triumph when I think what they have been through.

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