🐧 Penguin Huddle 🐧 Thread 36 - TTC after pregnancy loss

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. So many of us have found much comfort from other lovely ladies on this thread, together we're rooting for lots of BFP's! Let 2020 end on a positive note x

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

[LeeRainbow]

Our rainbow after the storm, our little wriggler due 9th May 2022 so over the moon.

[Kiki275]

Thinking of you all tonight ladies x

[LeeTTCRainbow]

@kiki275 oh he’s gorgeous congratulations on your beautiful son.

Thank you here’s hoping we follow suit and get our beautiful rainbow too. Xx

[Kiki275]

@VenusStarr I'm sorry I'm late responding. As TWWs go, this must be harder than most. I'm pleased everything is progressing for October, it's just around the corner now. Keeping everything crossed for you x

@LeeTTCRainbow what a wonderful wedding gift. Tentative congratulations xx

[LeeTTCRainbow]

Hey wanted to update, got married week ago and been gifted the best wedding present as found out we are expecting our beautiful double rainbow whilst away on our mini moon, so excited and nervous but have a good feeling about this pregnancy it’s meant to be. Xxx

[VenusStarr]

Congratulations @Kiki275 💙🥰 wonderful news. I'm very happy for you xx

My mock cycle went well, my results all back back normal, so no treatment needed. We're on track for my FET in October 🤞 we had a slip up last week, so currently in my tww and initially started out hopeful but actually think our ttc naturally days are behind us. We've decided not to ttc next cycle before my FET, it's affecting my mood too much. Feeling quite lost and helpless as I'm struggling to see us getting our baby at the end of all this and it is breaking my heart.

Sorry to be a downer, lots of love to all xx

[Kiki275]

Hi ladies,
just thought I'd update you. My gorgeous rainbow baby Nathaniel was born Fri 27th by ELCS at a hefty 9lb 8oz.
I can't describe the feeling of pure contentment since his arrival. He's filled such a massive hole in our hearts.
I'm keeping everything crossed for you all and sincerely hoping you get the same joy you all deserve xx

[LeeTTCRainbow]

@Squiff70 Hi, Congratulations on your beautiful daughter I'm so glad she is doing well, I'm so sorry to hear about your son and for all the losses you have been through, i have no living children 2 losses one at 12.5 weeks this ttc journey is always scary and more so when been through losses but we are all in this together and here for eachother when needed. good luck for your operation and back to trying when you feel the time is right. xxxx

[LeeTTCRainbow]

Happy due date my beautiful angel, not a day goes by where i dont think about you, i will be a amazing mum one day you were just to good for this world this time. Our rainbow is on its way xxxxx

[InDreamland]

@VenusStarr I hope the mock cycle, tests and frozen embryo transfer all go well. I'm keeping fingers crossed for you that you get your rainbow. So sorry you've been struggling, it's normal and natural to feel the way you do. I really hope you'll one day soon not need this thread anymore. Stay strong, you can do this! I'm well thank you.

[LeeTTCRainbow]

@JemRose Congratulations, wishing you a healthy pregnancy. xx

[LeeTTCRainbow]

Hi girls, after the painful cramping, passing the lump of flesh and being sick and bleeding super heavy it got worse again and ended up being admitted to hospital and stayed in had a internal scan this morning.

Which showed I have got a lesion/tear & irritation on my right side of uterus which is likely from the medium sized lump I passed, I have a lot of blood and clots around the area causing irritation and would explain the cramps and heavy bleeding. They can’t say whether was a early early miscarriage that didn’t stick or left over from previous miscarriage and now finally passed which tore away as a clump with this period rather than gradual shredding. Back home now, also mentioned if had the lump for few months that would of affected chances of conceiving as been blocking that side so a positive from it all hopefully we have a fresh start now 👍 xx

[Squiff70]

@Mumlili9 I'm truly sorry you're still here. Sounds like your hubby is mentally exhausted with it, as are you which is perfectly understandable. I've heard so many stories of people trying for years then they give up and hey presto, a baby... I really hope it happens for you both, somehow, soon.

@VenusStarr a big hello to you too!

A quick update from me, for those who knew of me two years ago and for those who are newer to the huddle.

In January 2019 I lost b/g twins at 19 weeks gestation but fell pregnant a few months later, again with twins. I went into preterm labour at 22+4 and my daughter was born the next day. Our son followed three days later at 23+1.

Incredibly, after 7 and a half months in hospital, our daughter survived and is now 20 months old. She is still on oxygen and very delayed developmentally (she's just learnt to crawl and can only say two words yet) but she is well and has no known learning disorders or disabilities. She was just very very early and spent a long time in hospital but her consltant firmly believes she will catch up.

I am very sad to say my son was with us for four days in NICU before we had our first and last cuddle with him. My heart was smashed into a million pieces that day but I kept going for our little girl.

So, out of four babies we've lost three. We're not actively TTC yet but thinking about it. We'd like our little one to have a surviving sibling but we have many fears stopping us from TTC. I've just turned 39 so time is ticking away for me too now. I'm due to have major surgery in September but once I've recovered from that I want to crack on with TTC, hence I find myself back here.

I will have a read of the other threads when I get a few minutes and see who/what I've missed!

[VenusStarr]

Congratulations @JemRose ❤️

@InDreamland good to hear from you. I'm still here. I'm doing a mock cycle so I can do some tests before we plan a frozen embryo transfer, so mimicking what I'd be doing before transfer, the hormones are battering me but I feel better for doing something, I've been struggling since my last loss, but hoping we get some answers or reassurance. I hope you're well.

Hi @Squiff70 good to hear from you again x

@Mumlili9 I'm sorry to hear you don't think you're ovulating, I hope you can get some clarity and support. I'm keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

[Mumlili9]

@JemRose lol just realised I know you from the bus thread.

[Mumlili9]

@Squiff70 about the same as you. Im still trying but DH is just not bothered any more, we no longer talk about trying and he's now talking about all the things like pensions, retirement and moving to a bungalow. It's sad im still thinking of raising a family and hes on the wind down. Tbf he's 9 years older than me and I'm 40 next month.

[Squiff70]

Hi @Mumlili9! Battered and broken but somehow surviving. How are you?

[Mumlili9]

@Squiff70 hello lovely how are you?

[Squiff70]

Hello. I'm back. I haven't RTFT but I see some familiar names.

[InDreamland]

@Mumlili9 so sorry you're still here and struggling. I hope the doctor can help with the ovulating, will you try clomid do you think? I remember being given a course by the gynaecologist at the NHS fertility clinic. Really hope it is not menopause for you, that would be very young to go through it. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you to get your rainbow. I was 39 when I finally got my rainbow, exactly 4 weeks before I turned 40. So hoping you will have the same good fortune. People do have babies in their 40s and you could be one of them. Please don't blame yourself for leaving things late, I don't think you did, you just started when things were right for you x

[Mumlili9]

@InDreamland hi hun nice to hear from you.
Well im still struggling 😪 on. It's been 18 months since my ectopic and now it seems I'm not ovulating so I've got an appointment with the doctor to discuss some chemical help. I think if I'm honest is the end of the road for me im 40 next month so maybe im entering menopause now. It totally my own fault I shouldn't have left it so late. X how are you ?

[Mumlili9]

@JemRose fingers crossed 🤞 for a sticky little bean congratulations xx

[Mumlili9]

@LeeTTCRainbow sound like you had some retained tissue. Hopefully it will all come away now. If anything starts to smell funny or your worried at all contact your doctor. Sorry for your losses.

[InDreamland]

@JemRose tentative congratulations! Keeping my fx this is your rainbow. I get a warm and fuzzy feeling seeing a BFP in the Penguin group 🐧

@Mumlili9 @VenusStarr how are you both doing? I still think of you both and hope you will get your rainbow.

[JemRose]

Just got this today at 10dpo. Terrified already, I had a chemical 2 months ago which started out looking like this and got fainter every day until AF arrived. MMC last year at 12 wx. Hoping with all my heart that this time it's finally my turn.