How long to wait before trying IVF

[lifesapeach]

Hi, my husband and I both turn 30 this year. We have been trying for a baby for 8 months with no luck. A few months back we decided to get tested to check everything is ok. My CD3 and CD21 blood tests and scans all came back normal. My husbands semen analysis came back normal (morphology was low at 3% but based on a count of 313m and concentration of 84%, the doctor said he was classified normal overall). For the last 8 months we've been taking pre conception supplements and I've been using OPKs to estimate ovulation timing. The doctor has also confirmed that I am ovulating. We are starting to ask ourselves when we would move to IVF/ICSI if we don't conceive naturally. We have decided that we would go private so that we have a bit more say over timings. We both feel ready for IVF now but think it would be sensible to give it a full 12 months to give us the best statistical chance of conceiving naturally. My question is, how long would you wait? Do you think that 12 months is long enough? Thanks!

[sk1pper]

I'm 16 months TTC now and IVF will be the next step for us after my HSG tomorrow. That said, I am going to request to continue TTC naturally until 24 months so that I can be sure it's not possible. My sister is a nurse and she has told me to my face that I shouldn't consider IVF right away. It is emotionally and physically draining, it can temporarily change your personality, cause violent mood swings, impact even the strongest relationship and like someone else has already said, the long term implications of IVF are still unknown.

I'm not trying to scare you or anyone from doing IVF as the end game makes all that worth it. My point is - you should not take IVF so lightly. It is the thing you try when all other options have been exhausted. Focus in the meantime on improving your diet, exercising, meditating...your body is an amazing thing and it doesn't always need medical intervention to succeed.

[Anotherusername2333455667]

And you don't need to start with Ivf - there's other lower level interventions you can do first. If you have the money book an app with a private fertility consultant - we used zita west.

[Anotherusername2333455667]

Objectively get what people are saying here re 8 months isn't that long etc etc but TB completely honest if it was me I'd prob want to book an initial app for 12 months. Yes it's against advice but do what makes you happy.

[DesolateWaist]

I've posted this Voltaire quote once today already.

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease."

It is so true of ttcing. So much of what you can do simply keeps you occupied while nature sorts it out for you.

[backtotheplanet]

Hi OP, 8 months feels like forever when you are ttc, I know very well myself. Hopefully you will not have to wait too much longer to get your wish. I myself have conceived twice after 9 months ttc so don't give up hope just yet. IVF is a tempting way to solve the problem quickly but might not be the answer and could be financially draining - there are no guarantees. If you are keen to have some help maybe investigate superovulation as a more cost effective first step of increasing your chances every month.

I think the replies on this thread advising you that 8 months isn't that long are just trying to help you not to rush into IVF too soon. It should be a last resort really. A lot of people in your situation do fall pregnant if they carry on trying naturally. Fingers crossed for you.

[Londonjam]

Anna you describe me quite well there too. Making this realisation has been one of the hardest things I've done over the last year. If anything I've found the harder I try the further away it slips from you. I feel like it's something that'll happen when I'm looking the other way. Problem is I just can't look away ☹️ I want this so much.

[Anna275]

OP I've looked through some of your other posts. You seem like a very intelligent, capable woman who has probably been quite successful at achieving your goals in the past. I'm a Type A personality so I get it. But, (and I mean this in the nicest way), you can't project manage a pregnancy.

You seem to have the mentality that if you do all the right things, pass all the tests with flying colours, that you will automatically end up with a baby within a certain time frame. That's not the way our bodies work. Just because you desperately want something, have done all the research, tracked your cycles, created spreadsheets, scheduled it into your life plan, doesn't mean it's the right time for it to happen. You just need to be patient, as hard as it is to hear that. You can't control everything.

[Londonjam]

We are on cycle 14 , ttc1 , similar early results to yours. My scan and bloods normal, DH has a very high count 300m and good motility - but has low morphology like yours. First test was 2%, second test 1%. We've been told this isn't a concern in context. My best mate is an obstetrician and showed our numbers to a fertility specialist colleague for us, who agreed with our GP that they're fine but said "it might take them a bit longer than average".

Our GP referred us at a year to the hospital and we are waiting for our first appointment.

I remember getting very upset at 6,7,8 months in and I really symptomise. It's an awful cycle of hope and disappointment and really just drains you emotionally.

It's completely up to you if you wanted to pay for private treatment. You might consider an IUI first as it's less invasive, and less expensive.

But really if you can I would keep trying and try not to let it totally take over. Do something else you enjoy, exercise, practise yoga... try not to fixate too much.

I really hope it happens for you soon.

[Ilovewillow]

I know 8 months can seem like forever when you desperately want something but I would urge you to give it at least 12 months and research and think very carefully before you consider any kind of fertility treatment. We waited for 8 years for our first and had a range of homeopathic options, IUI and IVF. The road can be physically, mentally and emotionally draining and exhausting with no guarantees at the end. Looking in the practical side it's also very expensive, we self funded all of our treatment and 8 yrs ago we racked up £15,000. We were lucky and we have a beautiful 8 yr old and after much consideration and further expense we now have a beautiful 3 yr old son.

I'm not trying to put you off as, for us it was the very best option (ours was unexplained infertility also) but I would advise you to go in with your eyes open and not to rush in! I wish you every luck!

[ellesbellesxxx]

8 months is still early days... I speak as someone who has had IVF! My fertility consultant said 1-2 years is perfectly normal. Yes I know all too well it feels like forever but IVF is not something to be rushed. I am pregnant with twins but my last scan showed my ovaries are still quite sore from the treatment so it will be interesting to see how my cycles work in the future.
IVF is invasive, emotionally draining and exhausting... if nothing is standing out as an issue then I would really give it until 2 years ttc before you go to next step. We had to go down this path as my ovarian reserve is low and my fallopians are quite frankly twisted beyond belief so it would be miraculous if it had happened naturally.
I wish you all the luck in the world

[LisaMumsnet]

Just to let you know that we're going to move this to the Conception board at the OP's request.

[PurpleDaisies]

Op I thought this sounded familiar. Is this your almost identical thread from ten days ago? I'm not sure why you thought you'd get different answers

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2801066-how-long-to-wait-before-ivf

[DesolateWaist]

No idea Leeds. I did it three times and no one mentioned any long term problems.

[Northernlurker]

LEedspirate - there has been some investigation of a link between some cancers and ivf. The evidence isn't very convincing but we're only 40 years in to ivf treatment. Fair to say we don't fully understand the long term implications yet.
The short term implications for health are obvious though - it's a huge hormonal onslaught and there is an impact on mental health and relationships too. Obviously falling to conceive has an impact on those things too.

I just think ivf can very easily be perceived as a benign and neutral treatment when in fact it can lead to a lot of problems of its own.

[PurpleDaisies]

Do you think you need to acknowledge the whereland wasn't being insensitive? Your apology reads a little like a politician's well worded "I'm sorry you were upset if you were offended by what I said.

[lifesapeach]

Hi Purple, yes I definitely think this thread is in the wrong place- trying to get it moved now!

[MillieMoodle]

Also I've only just realised that this thread is in infertility (it came up in active threads), so I'm sorry if anything I've said in my post above has upset or offended anyone. I realise that even 12 months of trying is very little time and I'm extremely lucky to have two DC. for all who are still waiting.

[PurpleDaisies]

I've got to say this.... it's so insensitive and unsupportive to say 8 months is not long at all. Yes, it's not long in the scheme of my whole life and not long in comparison to how long many other couples have been trying but 8 months of thinking about and wishing for a baby every single day is a long time!!!! Maybe you don't feel the same way and 8 months is easy for you but that doesn't give you the right to say it's not a long time for me.

Many of us have been trying for years and years so I'm not sure this is the most sensitive thing to say on the infertility board. While I totally understand that it feels like a long time, it is totally normal for conception to take at least a year and many people don't even get investigated until after then (unless they're older, which you're not). No one is trying to minimise how you're feeling, but objectively eight months really isn't when you need to start worrying that you're infertile.

I wonder if you might be better trying the conception board? At the moment there's no reason to suggest you'll need ivf or have trouble conceiving in the fullness of time.

[gincamelbak]

8 months really isn't a long time. I know it feels like it when you are in it, but it really isn't.
Are you timing sex only around positive OPKS? When we were TTC #2 (#1 Took 11 months, a break then 8 months, #2 took 18 months) we had sex every other day for a week at least before I started gearing up to ovulation, then every day for about 5 days around ovulation. For 18 months. I also took temperatures, every morning. For 18 months.

So throw everything at it for at least the year. Take OPKs, take temps. Have sex all the time ("do it till your eyes bleed" is how it was suggested to me). Then look into IVF if you need.

[DesolateWaist]

We had NHS funded IVF when we had been trying for 12 months.
The criteria were that you had to be under 40, have no children and have a bmi under 30. It doesn't matter if there is no reason for it.

[lifesapeach]

I'm sorry that you've not had any luck yet! I do stand by my comment that 8 months has been a long time to me and remind you I wasn't saying it was a long time in comparison to others.

[MillieMoodle]

I would say maybe wait until you've been trying 12 months, it happens within that timeframe for a lot of people. We conceived DS1 the first month (aged 26 and 30). It took 12 months to conceive DS2 (aged 31 and 35) and I was starting to think it would never happen. In fact, I was about to call the doctors to make an appointment to discuss our options when I did a test and got a bfp.

I know it feels like forever and I know it's so disappointing each month when you're not pregnant but in the grand scheme of things, 8 months really isn't all that long. I'm absolutely not trying to upset you or be insensitive, and I realise it won't make you feel any better to say that but really, it could still happen within the next few months. If it doesn't, you've already had all the tests etc so you're ahead of the game so to speak. Wishing you lots of luck and hoping you don't need to go down the IVF route. Also, it's much easier said than done, but try to relax about it.

[kimnews]

8 months is way to soon to be considering IVF.
I know how you feel, I felt the same at that point, but now at 24 months TTC it sounds ridiculous. I hope you conceive soon so you don't have to experience the pain of many more months of disappointment.

[Northernlurker]

You won't offend me. I've not had fertility issues, I saw your post on active conversations. You will offend plenty of people though.