Another month, another period...

[ELA88]

Feeling very disheartened today :-( had an awful day at work then find AF has arrived too this evening :-(
I try not to get my hopes up each month but was sure this month would be different! Apparently not! Hey ho!!

[ELA88]

Hey thamrin sorry to hear AF came :-( hope you're alright. It's such a stressful time TTC anyway (however much you try to stay stress free!) let alone trying to compete with hormones and PMS! I've been so unbelievably moody this month and I know I'm doing it, I just can't help it! Been so argumentative with DH, even though he is an annoying pain in my backside sometimes!
Zebra don't be silly, it's allowed to be about you on here because we all understand and feel the same! I feel awfully selfish sometimes but being on here does make me feel better! Having a baby should be easier! Xxx

[ZebraZeebra]

Big hugs to everyone. We've been TTCing DC2 for five months - AF is due Sunday and all the signs are imminent. I feel so depressed, I want to cry but so guilty because we have our beautiful son. I just don't know why it's not happening. I'm still friends with a lot of people from my antenatal class from last time, and most of them pregnant again.

Sorry this is all about me, I just feel so low.

[thamrin]

hi laura & jenijena thanks for your replies and advice and and listening to the rant.

AF arrived on tuesday so i guess it was an extra irritable day although the past three days i have been so ridiculously emotional.

anyway, glad the period is here bang on schedule. time to get it over and done with it and make a baby this month! (start making a baby anyway...)

must be positive! x

[laurano81]

Thamrin A BFN breaks my heart too.....around 8dpo I start thinking what way I can surprise DH with our BFP! I even bought a neutral babygrow saying I love Dad! & I was going to leave it on the bed & put the test on top of it...I have gone through 6 months/BFN'/dissappointments etc ...but we have to believe a shiny BFP is waiting for us...we don't know what the future holds...but for me it is the thought that maybe I can't have another! That scares me the most! I shake that notion off every month & say to myself Listen now girl! You will get pregnant! Get over yourself, and try again !! We have no choice, but to keep chasing our baby dreams . I don't know why is it so hard to get pregnant ..but we WILL get pregnant!

Jenijena...I think we all understand where you were coming from on Friday, for I know I have felt that way too on several occasions...but I realise this is my journey...for whatever reason..difficult as it is everything happens when it should xx A bitter one to swallow I know xx For I have had to swallow it too xx

[Jenijena]

Hi everyone, and especially thanks to ELA for talking me through my hormone fuelled nastiness of Friday.

I think it's really important to dtd at the non fertile times of the month, to keep the spark alive abit. Otherwise it becomes abit transactionional, ("fit tab a into slot a, wait x, then deliver") and boring and unsexy and leading to performance anxieties.

I desperately try - and this is my ?21?st disappointing month if I include the year trying for DS - to keep the sadness to one day a month. Otherwise i find the bitterness makes me an unpleasant person. That day, wine, chocolate, whatever... But after that, I count my blessings and carry on.

I'm not [yet] interested in charting etc. though I do have ovulation sticks.

[thamrin]

hi everyone. i am about to start cycle#5 of TTC#1. when i stopped my pill in January i knew DH and I wanted kids and to start a family.
in February i still thought that if i got BFP i would be panicked, nervous and excited but not wishing and praying for the bfp.
Now, looking towards June being possibly "our month" i can't believe how badly i want it and how empty i feel getting that BFN.

our plan was to stop the pill and see what happens. well whatever that was supposed to mean its not possible to just forget about making a baby exactly i don't think!! however DH i think is feeling a bit pressured and doesn't like talking about it. i know he feels sad when i get down about BFN but at the same time i think he's worried somethings wrong and doesn't like the pressure of it all.

our sex life has gone from steaming hot to luke warm not because of the pressure to DTD more but because of my mental TTC baby making brain.

i wonder how to be more chilled about it and just go with the flow...? any tips?

[gossipgirl81]

Thanks for the advice ladies, yeah I don't know why we can't just start trying now, but he has it in his head that he wants to wait 5 more months and he is adamant about it. 5 months seems an eternity and what if we break up between now and then, it will be like my hopes for a baby will be dashed forever almost! I'm just trying to preoccupy myself and hoping that it will happen accidentally, he doesn't like me pressuring him.

[ELA88]

laurano81 is right, just tell him :-) we waited to start TTC until we were married, everyone said to wait a bit and enjoy it being is 2, well nearly 2 years later it's still us 2 and on cycle 17! I get the jealous feeling, resent the person telling me! Think "I've been trying for so long now, why are you pregnant and not me??" But then as was said earlier, you never know the journey they've taken! Although I do get annoyed of the "we weren't even trying!" Or "happy surprisers" ooo I'm so cold and bitter!!

[laurano81]

Yeah folic acid is super important & to have a good build up of it in you body is an advantage I reckon...most people only start taking it when they find out they are pregnant, by which time baby is well on it's way developing.

I use GLOW...I have it on my phone,...I really like it & people share their success stories, which I find keeps the dream alive..

My cycle did the same around 10 months ago...I have a luteal phase of only 9 1/2 or 10 days, as I start spotting the evening of 9dpo & AF arrives 10 dpo light, & so on... That's why I starting taking Agnus Cactus, as it's supposed to help LH & ovulation...I do ovulate every month, but I ovulate CD18, ! At least I do ovulate ! Must remain positive lol! It also is supposed to help lengthen the luteal phase...fingers crossed it works...I am only going to take it up to ovulation, but tbh I must ask my acupunturist on Friday if it is ok to take it up to a BFP or AF ...

gossipgirl81 welcome , I'm sorry that that you had your hopes up & AF came ...I know how much that hurts! x Tell you BF that it can take months to get pregnant..I'm 32 & on cycle 7 TTC! It's normal to have baby fever! I've had it for years! We all have that bittersweet feeling when we see someone pregnant..I see it as feeling sorry for myself..wishing it was me...nothing against the person..they deserve to be happy too..I think you need to let you BF know how much this means to you! Honest communication is best, as you will start to resent him for not wanting to TTC now...xx

[gossipgirl81]

Hey just wanted to join in and get chatting to others who will understand. My period came last Wednesday, it was 2 days late so I was starting to get my hopes up and then it came :(
The thing is although I want to start trying now, my bf wants to wait till later in the year so he is 'pulling out' beforehand if you know what I mean, sorry if it's TMI! However I am secretly hoping I will get pregnant this way but I seriously doubt it, just wish he wanted to try now. My baby fever is making me irrational! I find myself staring at pregnant women and getting envious when I hear of another person I know/celebrity being pregnant. I'm 35 so not getting any younger :(

[ELA88]

I started taking folic acid when I first started TTC, but then as the months passed and the enthusiasm wavered I ended up not taking them. I should start taking them again really as I know they're important.

What your mum said is so true, I think it's just hard to imagine the difficult journey someone has TTC conceive once you see their pregnant. You just assume it was all quick and easy!

Have you used any apps for tracking your cycle? I've been using Clue for the past 14 or so months (just downloaded fertility friend as I'm going to start temping / using opk) but my average cycle appears to have gone from an average 30 days to 26, I did have spotting for the whole week before AF properly started which is unusual but it reckons ill ovulate next Sunday even though AF finished yesterday

[laurano81]

Hi Ela88 I'm glad you have decided to change docs..good for you...get those blood tests done as soon as you can...honest as it will show whats happening with your hormones, as well as you iron level etc...are you taking any vitamins? I take Vit D3, folic acid, spirulina I don't eat red meat, so this helps my iron levels, and I recently started taking Seven Seas Trying for a baby..they were recommended to me by another mumsnet member who was using them & got a BFP...fingers crossed..I also read about the importance of Omega 3, so I am going to head to the pharmacy later to get it for DH & I...Also my DH started taking Wellman conception vitamins, they are supposed to help sperm mobility etc ..I hope this helps xx

Jenijena I know how much it hurts when you desperately want a baby & everyone around you seems to have no problem getting pregnant... my mum said to me recently...that I don't know another person's journey...every pregnant woman that passes me on the street may not have conceived easily, some of them may have experienced the same as me! TTC for months...felt the same sadness, disappointment, frustration, hurt, anger..the list goes on... It made me think that one day I too will pass a woman who will think that I had no problem conceiving! and they will never imagine the months that it took me TTC! xx Baby dust & fingers crossed for us all xx

[Jenijena]

No - just had a text with due date on so I looked it up. Haven't spoken to them (but then, we never do). Can imagine mil thinking it would protect us (and her recent stay with us would have confirmed my alcohol drinking) but actually makes me feel so much worse.

[ELA88]

Oh no that's not good, maybe they weren't sure how to tell you :-( did you ask how far gone she was? Xx

[Jenijena]

Not being told til now (way past 12 wk scan) actually makes it harder. Bugger bugger bugger.

[Jenijena]

Bugger just realised how pregnant she is and that there has probably been a 'don't tell Jenijena & Mr J' conspiracy led by pils (who we do see a lot). not sure how to break that to DH.

Took a year with DS1. No tests, or trips to the GP, partly because I'm sure the first thing they'll say is lose at least two stone and come back again. //resolves self to getting back on the wagon//

[ELA88]

Even when you're expected it, it doesn't make the reality of it any easier. Hope your DH is ok too, have you been to the drs or had any tests? Xx

[Jenijena]

Thank you ELA. We sort of expected this - it's not unreasonable to have second children after all - but knew this would be the hardest announcement that we might hear. Last time we responded with an excited 'us too'; this time DH can hardly bring himself to write congratulations. But we're not close, and they know we've been trying for a while, so it should be as easy as it is possible.

[ELA88]

jenijena it's so hard isn't, a horrible bittersweet moment when you want to be so pleased for someone but at the same time hate the unfairness! Then I feel guilty for feeling like that, horrible :-( hope you're ok though, a big hug to you xx
DH and I have been arguing so much recently as I'm finding it so tough with all the announcements! I know he knows I'm upset by it all but I don't think he quite knows how much. Xx

[Jenijena]

Please can I join the pity party? Month 10 ttc #2, AF arrived this morning, both of us a bit tearful over dinner and then BIL's txt arrived announcing pregnancy. Their first is a week older than DS. I am trying oh so hard to count my blessings, feel good for them and supportive for DH who had taken this as a real kick in the guts but inside I'm crying.

[ELA88]

Hey laurano81 I am thinking of changing GPs during my week off this week, my current GP isn't particularly understanding and had a few issues there.
I bought a basal thermometer last week and some opk, haven't used either yet but downloaded the fertility friend app so once AF is finished think I'll start temping. At least then I will have more of an idea if I'm actually ovulating or not!
All very stressful and work doesn't help! My poor cats are going to be bald from me stroking them all the time! Such a mad cat lady! Xx

[laurano81]

Hi Ela88, I feel the same another month, another period! I am 32 & ttc since Dec , so I'm cd5 of ttc#2 Cycle 7…if I were you I would make an appointment to see your gp…ttc for 12months+ is stressfull & the doc should recognise this! Bring himself with you to show a united front & that you are serious about this! I had CD3 & 7Dpo hormine tests done 2 months ago…check out my thread Temping buddies 2014 I posted the results there…get the tests done this month! Don't doubt yourself just cis the GP won't listen xx

[ELA88]

Feeling a bit better today! Even though I had horrendous cramps this morning :-( now remember the reason I went on the pill in the first place! Each month the pain gets so much worse!

I think I might wait one more month and then think about visiting my GP, I just feel like they'll send us away to keep trying as we're only 26 and 29.

Did you fall pregnant with your DD easily or did that take a long time? Xx

[dildoos]

Ela I am 33 , I went after 12 months of trying taking into count my age, however apparently he said I could have had tests after 6 months but I was happy bumbling along then. Now I am not happy bumbling I want answers so can be treated but when it's unexplained can be even more frustrating as feel there is nothing I can do to help?
You could go to go now......... Before you run out of space in your house for fear you may get more and more cats
However I love cats .........my daughter has an allergy to cats so cannot have as a pet like I used to when I was 22 but we have 3 fish, can't really stroke them, and they don't really give affection, unsure why we got them really, something to watch whilst I cook tea

[dildoos]

Yes I take that motto too, sadly I know they didn't at all and sister in law rubs it in all the time, bump rubbing, talking as if she were the bump or her little baby girl, saying hurry up and get a baby cousin for us, even though she knows we have mc that amount she is a real idiot at times drives me and DP insane that she could be that selfish not to think at all, but I guess if your that lucky you just fall why would you think anything else?

Sorry to hear you had your struggles but your well and truly on your way to receiving your bundle now which is wonderful news x